Paxil the wonder drug

>not on paxil
-depressed about not having any friends
-social anxiety makes me avoid most social interaction
-think about suicide everyday
>on paxil
-almost no social anxiety at all
-happy and content with my life
-still have no friends and little to no desire to acquire any
it's an amazing drug.

Economics versus finance degree

Can some one explain the pro's and con's of getting a Economics Degree Vs. Finance Degree

Getting a retail job

I was let go for "job abandonment" i.e. not showing up to work for a few days.
It happened during the holiday season, so I wasn't too broken up about it, and just thought, 'AH, whatever, it was just a month-long job, fukkit.
Flash forward five years, and I'm SUPER hard-up for work. Just grabbed a Jo-Ann's application.
Now they ask if you've ever worked there before, but *not* if you've been fired.
So my question is; wat do?
Fill out the form and say yes, I've worked there, and see if they notice if I've been let go for job abandonment, or say no, and risk them finding out.
Anyone know if they check?
Anyone know if getting canned for job abandonment makes you not re-hireable.
At Jo-Ann's ?
Anyone know how other places handle this?

(in b4 kill yourself)

Anarcho-capitalism debate

Anarcho Capitalist here. I believe that the best way to run government is through complete and total voluntarism. Ask me anything, I'm happy to defend my point of view.

Pregnant with another man's child

ITT: Moments in your life where your mind screamed "ABORT!"
>20 years old.
>Single and lonely, going through college.
>Get a facebook message from a cute reclusive nerdy girl I used to date in high school.
>We talk for awhile and it's really great.
>She asks if we could meet up.
>Excited, things are finally looking up.
>Go to the coffee shop that she asked me to meet her at.
>See her across the room.
>She's extremely pregnant.
>Turn around and leave.
>Don't respond to her emails.

Confess your deep dark secrets

c'mon anons, this is your chance to confess what noone knows about what you did, let's see bad anons can really get >_<
story related.. I copied the house key and got the security alarm code of a long time friend (girl) of which i hadn't talked to in a few years (opportunity presented itself). Got into her house when i knew noone was home (her, her sister or her parents) and sniffed around every personal stuff just to find interesting things i didn't know about her or her sister. Ended up finding some photos, a sh*tloads of notes and browsing their underwear, but nothing special other than that. Didn't steal anything either as I do know I have other chances to return, plus alarm was on when I got in so if they saw something missing they would know only a handful of people could've done it.
PS. They don't know I ever had the key or the code in my hand :)

Spooge habits

My brother noticed the c*m stains on my chair and I got into a stupid argument with him. I was wondering if you could help me out. Do most people c*m on a tissue or something or do they c*m and spurt all over the place and then clean up? My brother is in the former camp and I am in the latter.

Sexually harrassed at the daycare

Hello, anonymous
Today I'm going to tell you about my experience with children, their parents and the women who take care of them while the parents are away at work.
First off, I'm a male of 21 years old, fit, "nice" looking and I hate women, children and old people.
Okay so last year I was looking for a job and I sent applications to a lot of places, one of them was a daycare center.
The daycare called me back the day after handing in my application asking me to come in. So I go, wasn't too thrilled about it, but oh well I need a job.
So I go in and talk to the old lady who owns the place, she tells me she likes my experience and and all this other flattering bullsh*t.

Why do you resent men?

Any "bitches and wh**res" interested in spillin their man hating stories? It might be refreshing among all of the hundreds of pu**y hater threads posted daily.

Why do men like it when women swallow?

Female here. I have a question.
Why do all guys like having their c*m swallowed? Like really, how does it make sex any more enjoyable for you? You've already had your orgasm so it's not like you're going to have another one right away if I swallow right? Someone please explain it to me.
I mean if women ejaculated semen, would you want to drink it? Be honest now.

You have no friends

>join facebook
>realise you have no friends
>deactivate account

Ask an Infantry Marine anything

Ask an Infantry Marine anything.

Do mice bite?

GUYS GUYS
There's a mouse hiding in my room, I f**king love mice.
Will it try to bite me if I catch it with my hands?

Tell me about your grandfather

I feel we need a different thread.
Tell me about your grandfather.

My meds might be causing vivid recurring nightmares

I have vivid nightmares every. single. night.
They are so terrifying that I almost always wake myself up from flailing in my sleep or kicking something over.
I've been on a medication/psychotherapy regimen for a very long time but it hasn't helped. Recently I've even begun to suffer from regular bouts of sleep paralysis in addition to the nightmares, so needless to say I'm getting pretty desperate.
Truthfully, I feel like an heroing most of the time, and that's very unlike me.
I'm not trying to act emo for attention or pity. I just want them to stop so I can move on with my life as a regular jagoff.
So... how do I stop the nightmares? What behavioral or medicinal changes can I make to prevent them?

Need some domination suggestions

This girl I've been recently seeing told me a few nights ago that she's into domination. We've had sex, and I'm very open to new things, but so far the most I've done to dominate is to tell her what to do and how to do it. I'm thinking she wants me to be even more forceful, but I'm not sure how to proceed. We're both 20 and in college, and she's very shy, while I'm more outgoing.
tldr: I need some domination suggestions

Can't stop cutting myself

Help me, advice
I can't stop cutting myself when I feel sh*t, and my girlfriend has really hurt me tonight
I can't help but feel absolutely worthless right now
But I don't particularly want to feel happy, I just know I shouldn't be doing this
What the f**k do I do, I don't think I can ever tell anyone else in person

Cursing during sex bothers me

Anyone else get really turned off when the women swears when having sex?
I mean, what's so sexy about a girl saying "F**K! SH*T!" when you're making love? Not to mention some of the sounds they make really turns me off too. They're not moans, not grunts, more like someone is killing a farm animal. The facial expression they make is like somewhere between pain and anger; no smiles, no sense of pleasure. WTF.
Western porns are especially bad in this respect. No matter how hot the girl is, as soon as they start opening their wh**re mouth, I lose my hard on.
Anyone else has this problem? This is why I don't think I'll ever be able to date a white or black girl.

Is my penis too small

Hey advice I'm seriously depressed.
I just measured myself for real and I come in at 4.8 inches. There's no way I'd ever show that to a girl, not like I have a chance to anyway.
F**k, why me.

Need tips after charged with posession of weed

I just got busted for the first time with weed possession.
I live in idaho. It was under 3 oz and my court date is on the 27
any advice on what i should do from here?

Tips for cold sores

Can you guys tell me the fastest way to get rid of a cold sore? I'm dying here.

How do I know if she likes rough sex?

females,
How do we get to know if you like it rough? Any hints that you drop us that we perhaps don't notice? I'm into choking, biting, hair pulling, scratching and I don't know how to tell, early in a relationship, if a girl is into this sort of things. Help me please.

Sex tips for fat guys

My boyfriend is a chubby and has a 5 inch penis.
I'm thin but notably short.
It's hard for us to find good positions when we're f**king. For example, f**king in doggy style is hard for us because I'm too short. Also, his stomach pushes my pelvis away and his dick isn't quite long enough to stay in my vag.
Can you guys suggest some positions?

Lessons learned from losing virginity

Perhaps we could have a How I Lost My Virginity thread, and state what we learnt from it (implying that we did, in fact, take something unique from the experience).
Got gf. 4 months later she broke up with me. 3 weeks later she came back saying that she wanted to be f**k buddies. I oblidged. 5 weeks later I went to her place and did the act from 1am-3am on a monday morn. Got up hours later for school. Age 17 at the time.
I learnt that sex really isn't all that special, but that it can be a powerful drive if you let it be. I also found out that I had been dating a slut.
IMO, sex is what you make it to be. If you think it's awesome then it is awesome. If you think it's boring then it is boring. If you expect it to change your life you will believe that it has changed your life.

How do I pass the drug test?

I smoke pot occasionally and it depends who i am with.
any spring break was f**king crazy and i smoked of course that was 2 weeks ago.
I have to take a urine test for walmart at a EMSI clinic or some sh*t.
I was gonna get piss from a friend put it in a condom, then go piss there with that.
any suggestions advice?

In love but no sexual attraction

I'm 18 and had 3-4 "serious" relationships.
I have never went for anyone I feel sexually attracted to. The guys make me happy, make me laugh and we fall in love. But I've never felt "I must have you now" lust, just learned to deal with the fact it's lacked in all my relationships.
But now it seems to be getting harder to ignore. Do you think sexual desire is something you can ignore? Overcome?

Why don't I feel grief or sadness?

I guess I'm here for advice, once again.
A friend of mine, from childhood, died yesterday. Someone in a large truck ran a red light and slammed into his driver's side door. He died after six hours of surgery. I can remember playing with him on the playground, joking about girls in band class. I remember open the door one time and kicking him square in the nuts. He was the last person I had an eating contest with. He beat me.
The thing is I can remember all this stuff, but don't find myself emotionally shaken at all about his death. I'm not tense or upset about it. The thing is, I never am. When one of my best friends died, I consoled his family with a straight face. When my grandfather died, my more emotionally withdrawn family members were all bawling, but I, the one who traditionally has worn his heart on his sleeve, was straight-faced the whole time. The last time I got really upset when anyone died was when I was a child, when my godfather died. I looked to him as a father figure, and inherited many of his traits. When I was informed of his death, I cried for what I remember to be days. But since then, I have not been upset by anybody's death, even my close friends. My friend Drew died from a heart attack, and I did not cry. My friend Steven, who went to prom as "my date" to freak out the principals, died from a bad reaction to mixed prescription medicine, I didn't even quiver. Now a childhood friend of mine has died, and I feel...vacant of feeling. Like I'm supposed to be hurting, but I really just don't care.
Is there something wrong with me?

Chased by rumours at school

Recently, people in my college have been spreading rumors about me and my girlfriend. Me, because of some stupid stuff that happened with another girl last semester and now people are talking about my girlfriend because people found out we were dating. She's been really upset over it and can't handle having people talk about her, but I really don't want her to break up with me over some stupid bullsh*t rumors. My advice to her is to just ignore it and stay with me, because people will just eventually not care.
What do you all think?

My girlfriend admitted to watching tentacle porn

So the other day I ask my girlfriend of 2 years what kind of porn she watches.
After trying to get it out of her for 20 minutes she finally tells me she watches Hentai.
I dont really know how to feel about it. I mean I'm glad she isnt looking at f**ked up sh*t like gangbang porn making me think she is a closet wh**re.... but Hentai?
Girls in hentai tend to get raped or humiliated. Makes me wonder about her. She even said she watches tentacles and other similar sh*t. Is there some kind of hidden meaning here or.... am I overthinking this?

Betrayed my friend, how do I make it up to him

Hear my story! I recently went to a bar together with a guy that I friendzoned, he's kinda awkward and shy and has trouble getting in contact with girls, I think he took it kinda bad.
Anyway, after spending a few hours there he suddently found a girl that seemed to like him. They seemed to be a good couple and they talked and had lots of fun.
Then I walked up to him and hugged him from behind and said: How are you doing honey?. Needless to say the girl left 5 seconds later.
Now he is seriously depressed, my intention were to tease him a bit.
adv, did that make me a bitch? And how can I make it up to him?

I keep cheating on my man

Like to the point of needing help.
I can't seem to stay faithful to anyone

He's a friend but I force him into sex

Okay advice...I'm a bit drunk right now...and I figured I might as well ask, its not like you punks know who I am anyways.
So I've known this guy since we were in Junior High, and to be honest, we've never really dated officially or anything. He's sort of puts on this whole cold emotionless act all the time, Im not to sure if he's for real or just trying to be cool, but overall, he's just very quiet and morbid.
Since we were in highschool, we've been having sex as "Friends" I guess, and to be honest, most of the damn time, he doesn't seem to into it.
Now we're both in the same college, and we still hang from time to time, and sometimes it ends up in sex, and its all up to me to actually initiate it, and multiple times, he's turned me down actually.
We have this weird kink going on, where I basically force him to have sex with me, and he puts up SOME resistance, and sometimes he'll actually fight me off and leave. I mean just last week, I literally drugged his dinner when he came over to do study, and we had this light bondage play.
To be honest, Im not to sure what he's feeling, but I think I really want to have a relationship with him, but he doesn't seem to care about me that way, even though the sex (to me) is kinky as all hell. But for some reason I dont think he wants a relationship at all.
What do you guys think? Do you think he might honestly be some emotionless rat bastard or is he just totally into this thing we do. Like should I ask him that we go out on a date or something? cause we've just been doing it alot more than actually talking, and its me doing most of the work.
TL:DR=Friends with Benefit, I want to take it further, not sure if Guy is totally into it. How should I approach it?
And yes, I AM girl.
and before you guys start saying that he's totally into the kinky stuff, You guys have no idea how he acts, I swear to god he's a anon sometimes

Childhood sexual abuse experiences

How many of you are victims of child sexual abuse?

Nerdy girls are still better off than guys

Look at these 'ronery girl' comics. Here's a good example.
Haven't you noticed in nearly all of these examples, the 'ronery girl' is infatuated with some pale, skinny 'nerd' - And then, mysteriously, some buxom, popular blonde comes along for whatever reason and starts hitting on the nerd, trying to steal him away from the nerd girl.
This doesn't make ANY f**king sense, yet it's the same premise all ronery girl comics are based on. Why would some cheerleader-like blonde suddenly start hitting on a pale skinny nerd?
The reality is of course, most females are being disingenuous - They weren't hitting on a nerd, they were hitting on some hipster/indief** 'hottie'. Because they're shallow.
Bitches and wh**res.

What is it like in jail

have you ever been to jail:
if so please tell me stories about it

Women aren't reliable

When it comes down to it, all women are the same.
sup anonymous
I was discussing this with a friend last night at the pub (to "celebrate" that I got out of the hospital)
He is the one that believes that statement is true. I thought it was bullsh*t, but then I started thinking.
I've dated all kinds of girls (in before >implying you can get a girlfriend). The preppy girl, the outgoing type, a hipster, etc and every single one of them either went back to their ex (the preppy girl; even after telling me stories about how abusive he was) and the outgoing/hipster cheated on me. I've only had one decent breakup so far; where we both agreed it wouldn't work out.
Now today, I found out my current girlfriend cheated on me at a party, while I was in the hospital. I was in the goddamn hospital because we kept being followed by a drunk driver while we were on our bikes. I decided it would be for the best if she took the far right side of the road, while I drove in the middle. Well, f**ker hit me and drove of.
I agreed she could go to that party, because it was planned months before the accident, and she was really looking forward to it.
I'm honestly starting to believe the statement that in the end, they're all the same.
What about you anonymous?
Sorry for the long post, and potential mistakes, English isn't my first language.

Can't dirty talk

I am a mute individual. I have a loving girlfriend. BUT there is a problem. She likes dirty talk. I've tried putting on porn in the background for her, but that doesn't seem to help. What do?

My grandfather is dying

Dear anonymous, I have a big problem.
My grandfather is probably going to die in a couple of days. He was the father I never had (seeing as me own dad -not his son- beat me all the time, was an alcoholic and never bought me anything except second-hand clothes once in a while), and I love him very, very much. I've been busy lately and I didn't get to go on visits that often, and yesterday I found out that he had a stoke. I went to visit him at the hospital as soon as I found out- he recognized me, and held my hand, even though he couldn't speak, move the right half of his face and he seemed absent. A few minutes after I left my mom visited him, and he started freaking out so the hospital staff had to restrain him, but they assured us it was normal. In the evening they even told us that he started recognizing the nurse and that he ate the food that mom cooked for him- a pretty good progress, in their opinion.
But now I just got a call saying that his heart started acting up really bad and that they moved him into cardio. It's severe.
I'm desperate and scared sh*tless, anonymous.
What should I expect? Is there any hope? If he dies, how can I cope with the loss?

Warty stories

Woo, wart stories!
First time I ever had a wart, it was on my forearm. Retarded spot for a little wart. Spent months picking at it and sh*t and hiding it with bandaids before I finally bought some Dr. Scholl's wart remover sh*t. Stuck to it and it fell off in like a couple weeks.
10 or so years later, now I've got a goddamned wart on my palm. Bought a "2-in-1" removal "system", ie. something to freeze it and acid to burn it. The freezing part is actually really fun. F**k, I kind of want to do it more often. The plain old dab some on salicylic acid solution, though, sucks compared to how I remember the disks impregnated with acid. Sh*t is far less precise, is taking far longer, and is making the whole spot turn awesomely disgustingly black and bubbly.
Your turn, f**s.

Stupid things I have done

I remember in highschool we would drive around in a car throwing sh*t at kids and get points depending on race.1 point whites 2 points mexicans 5 point ni**ers 10 baby ni**ers . also we would drive around yeeling things like "JESUS STILL LOVES YOU" at emos
will post more

Stupid joke thread

ITT: Jokes you reuse in different social settings with great success:
>*say something* then: say l.o.l.
>why did I say lol instead of just laughing? I have no idea!

What do you think of breast implants?

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Awesome moments in your life

Post f**k yeah moments.
>On bus, shades on staring straight
>Big water bottle full of beer in lap.
>Teenage girl sits next to me
>I take drink, she asks "is that beer"
>I don't even look her way
>"No it's apple juice."
>"Oh..."

Asking a girl to senior prom

so how would anonymous ask a girl to a dance?
senior prom in a couple weeks

Have you been affected by suicide?

Since we have a 2-3 suicide threads a week has anyone here actually been affected personally by a suicide? Tell us your story.

Schizoids, report in

Are you schizoid or assburger, anon?
I assume you are one of those, or you wouldn't be here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

Your ideas, no matter how terrible

a suggestion to the soda companies: put a basically plain coke flavor pop dispenser in grocery stores (like water companies do, bring your bottle in and refill it, a bigger version of the fountain drinks)
that way, the company saves money by not using as much plastic - they can basically just ship the syrup to the grocery stores; they save the customer money by having cheaper pop because of what i just said, and not having a recycling fee; and they 'save' the environment herpderp

Jobs that don't need background checks

Sup anons, let's get to the point. I need a f**king job. In the worst way. But my work history is a bit sketchy.
I have a college degree, but I'm still f**ked.
But I'll take anything at this point.
Anybody know a basic retail place that *doesn'*t do background checks? By that I mean, check former references you've worked for?
I know Sears doesn't but I need someplace else.
Really, any other places that don't check? My criminal record is clean, and my credit is immaculate, I just haven't been the best employee in the past.
in b4 kill yourself.

My sister is a coke dealer

My sister is a drug dealer. She just called me to propose something to me : she'll pay all my rent if I allow her to store all her coke here.
Of course I accepted, because I'm poor as f**k and this will allow me to breathe a little, financially speaking.
I'm asking you anonymous, what do you think? Would you have done the same thing?
Picture unrelated

From odd to mundane

What's the sexiest thing to ever happen to you?
Another thread brought this to mind. I had a g/f who was a raging pedophile, strongly into little girls. She told me after watching the Lindsey Lohan version of 'The Parent Trap' and after trying to fool around, I felt how inexplicably wet she was. Explained it'd always been her thing...
We used to go the mall after school, arm in arm. She'd see a little girl that she liked, squeezed my arm in breathless, almost mindless lust, promptly led me outside and back to my car where we'd drive somewhere secluded and f**k while she asked me to tell her "what a good little girl" she was for making her Daddy c*m.
Your turn. Sexiest thing that's ever happened to you, go!

Weird things you like

unconventional things you like:
i love it when i'm taking a sh*t, and the gas propels the sh*t out like a rocket.

How is your relationship with your father?

Okay anons, dadchat time. How is your relationship with your father?

Playing with fire

Gentlemen,
I enjoy cumming inside girls. I mean, girls like me enough to have sex with them, and a few weeks down the line, I f**k them without a rubber. I have control, I can pull out...I just don't. I c*m inside them without their permission. Some of them get upset, others are surprised, and some others don't care. I love the feeling. The feeling of not holding back and shooting my seed into their pu**ies. I love the sensation of my c**k pumping and throbbing and shooting my baby batter deep inside.
My most recent encounter was this dumb 19 year old female who let me c*m inside her the first time we had sex. It was so much f**king fun. Its been three weeks and this f**k fest has been ongoing.
As far as I know, I have no kids or baby mama drama. I still talk to many of the girls I've slept with and nothing so far.
Do I have a problem?

Mindless and easy jobs

I think I may have stumbled across the easiest job I will ever have. It's part time, and minimum wage, yes, but I've put more effort into dressing in the morning than I have in whole shifts here.
I work at a little delivery outpost for a dry cleaning place. Basically, I take the clothes in, and give the clothes back. That's about it. Occasionally I scrub a couple of shirt collars, but the place has such a minimal flow of customers that I can just sit in the back and read for upwards of an hour with no interruption. Oh yeah, you're allowed to bring books, and hobbies and stuff.
If anyone has/had a job that's required little to no effort, share with the rest of us.

Trolling anorexics

anorexia is kinda hot. and lets be honest, more women die from heart disease (fat) than starvation. we should appreciate anorexic women

When were you happy in life?

When I was a kid till I was about 11. When puberty struck everything turned to sh*t.

Your anal experiences

Lets hear them, good and bad. I want to see if I should pursue this with my gf.

I didn't really change

About 5 years ago, when I was in 7th grade, we had the task to write and send our self a letter which we were supposed to receive before we graduated high school (I'm 18, don't start that underage high school nonsense). I never really forgot about writing that letter, but the contents of it were a mystery to me.
I would have opened it regardless of the day, but I thought it was pretty ironic that it should arrive today. So semi-eagerly, I opened and read it. Here are a few points that really stuck out to me and a few that could make you anons chuckle:
-On the headlines everywhere are news about the presidential debate. John Kerry against George Bush. By now, the president is out of ofice and somebody else is in. Let's just hope that Kerry wins.Remember, Bush is and ALWAYS will be an idiot.
-The weather is terrible right at the moment and is not showing any sign of stopping. Hopefully it is good now.
-At the moment, Ihave glasses, but now you (or I) should have contacts
-Conan 'O Brian is going to take over as the lat night host for the retiring Jay Leno. At this time he might be off with retirement
cont.

What were you like in school?

for the ages of 12-14 I was the smart-ass everybody loved
14-17 I was the elitest who most people shared a dislike for, only had a small circle of friends and no 'allies' outside of that. spent most of my time trolling people irl.
feels sort of okay, but I'm totally forgettable

Your day

How was your day, anonymous?
>scrambled eggs and coffee
>work
>work
>gym
>get a girl I liked who works at the gym to facebook friend me
>come home, play New Mario Bros Wii
>friend comes over
>watch It's always Sunny in Philadelphia
>get drunk
>play STALKER: Call of Pripyat
It was a pretty awesome day, I reckon. How was yours?

My girlfriend wants me to be a trap

females, traps, and shaven gentlemen... I need your assistance!
My girlfriend discovered my love of trap porn a while back, and ever since she's been not-so-subtly hinting she'd like to see me 'en femme.' I've decided I'm VERY okay with that, and since she's away for the weekend it'd be fun for her to come home and find there's a somewhat unconvincing girl in my place!
The problem? Hair! I've got a whole lot of it and not the first clue how to get rid of it all. I want to be silky-smooth for her, but I'm not sure where to start, and Google's turned up all kinds of contradictory advice.
Do I just go at it with my normal safety razor or is there something else you'd recommend? Can I just use some fancy hair removal cream? Wax? I'm clueless! Help me, anonymous, you're my sex life's only hope!

What's with Mr Darcy?

Can someone explain to me why the f**k every woman I know is in love with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice? He's basically a douche and they would all hate him in real life. Which is what happens in the novel, Elizabeth (the main character) dislikes him more and more over the course of the book until there's A TWEEST and he's somehow revealed to be not-a-douche. Except he is.
I am so confused about this sh*t.
Pic probably not related.

How long was your last relationship?

So anonymous how long did your last relationship last and when was the last time you were in a relationship?
Barely a month here, years ago.

I want to be fat

How do I increase my appetite?
Pic related, it's one of the reasons why.
I don't care if I become a fat f**k.

Tips for satisfying a woman

How often can women have orgasms?
SHould I be worried if first time I don't make her have one through sex?
i'm afraid to try and eat her out if i cant bone her to c*m. i never tasted the women juices before and am afraid i might gag.
I have no one to ask these questions to.

Dancing tips

how do you dance? I'm being dragged to a f**king club tonight and I have no idea how to dance
I want to try, I have no problem with confidence. it to loosen up, but where do I start?
should I just troll people?

Are you happy with your penis?

Hello anonymous.
Are you satisfied with your c**k?
I can honestly say I'm very satisfied with mine, it's about 7-7.5 inches, pretty thick (nothing too abnormal though) and uncut (which I f**king love because it feels really f**king good).
It leans a bit to the left but I'm completely fine with it.

Is fapping a good way to train for sex?

So, anonymous. I fap a lot, mainly because of the belief that it will 'train' me for sex i.e make me able to last longer. Can anyone debunk this theory or, if I'm right, explain how it works?
Pic somewhat related I guess.

Addicted to WoW

ITT: Your perfect substitutions that take the place of a real life.
I deleted my WoW character after some c**t on here suggested I do so. Now that it's been a few weeks I've come to realize exactly what that game's purpose is.
(..,continue in next post since a text wall will discourage you from posting a relevant story)

I am being bullied at school

Alright, I'm going to go on a limb here.
Here's my story: I'm still in highschool. It's my senior year, and I have not had a single friend at this place since my first day of my Freshman year of school. I mostly hang out with my cousins and my other 2 friends who go to the private school up the road. Although I want to, I don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. As you'll note, for the great deal of embarrassment that comes with it...
I'm being hardcore bullied at school.
I have to keep up my grades to keep this scholarship, so not going to school isn't an option... but I hate this place. I'm f**king eighteen years old, and I still get f**king swirlies in the bathroom. Do you know what that f**king feels like anonymous?
I have moderate acne. I generally have 3-6 pimples at a time. WOO F**KING HOO, I'M A TEENAGER. This has resulted in four years of the term GREASY-GARY being chanted through the halls as I walk by. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but the shoves, the threatening notes, the caricature-like pictures in my locker that people so THOUGHTFULLY put there... it builds up after that long. I've gotten my ass kicked, my car egged and painted with little red dots (acne joke, I'm sure) and I've even had my parents called in for meetings (worst.times.ever.). YEAH MOM AND DAD, NO ONE LIKES ME. How f**ked is that?
I'm not going to an hero. I'm not going to blow up my school. I just don't know what to do anymore...

Maturity has many meanings

What do you say anonymous
My girlfriend wants me to become a real man if we're ever to get engaged. I think I am a real man, so I can only assume she means stop playing video games, reading comics, and having fun. I think that's a lot of bullsh*t. So I was at the shop with my friend and decided to buy her a broom and dustpan, frying pan, and apron. I left these on our bed with a note that if I'm going to become a real man then she has to learn to be a real woman. It was a joke but now she's staying at her sister's.
Please advise. Picture related.

Speed of light questions

I might not understand physics and sh*t, but I still say if we managed to create a vehicle that can travel at 99.9999999% the speed of light with a human on board, get it up to max speed, then the guy gets up and runs from the back of the ship to the front, he would be breaking light speed.

Ask a high school teacher anything

Ask a public high school teacher anything.
inb4"hurr"
I'm 24 years old; I know have at least one younger colleague who surfs chans too. It's not that weird, believe me.
Pic semi-related.

I went through a promiscuous phase

tell me what a slut i am anonymous
this is me:

Basically, ive had more sex partners at the age of 22 than you probably will in your entire life. I cant remember all their names. And i LOVE getting f**ked raw by all of them. I've had sex with more than one guy in a 24hour period, and I've had several f**kbuddies at the same time who didnt know about each other.

Are you a functional alcoholic?

ITT: Functional Alcoholism
How skilled are you at drinking during your regular workday & home life that no one can tell you're drunk? Does this make you feel bad. Do you think you'll ever stop? If so, what would it take?
Just looking for others who might understand this situation...

Emoticon spelling question

Hey, anonymous.
I have an important question for every knowledgeable internet user:
How the f**k do you write a smiley face at the end of a parenthetical statement?
(Such as this ;)
(Or like this? ;) )
(Or maybe this is better ;)?)
Please answer. (This is of utmost importance! :()

Can't take compliments gracefully

How do you deal with compliments, anonymous?
People have a tendency to be surprised when they first meet me, it seems, and always say something along the lines of "I think you are funny, anon" or "you are my new favorite person"
Now I am not a very proud person and I am a fairly big spaz when it comes to this. Recently, I've just started ignoring the compliments or doing a goofy ass embarrassed smile.
How do you deal with them, anonymous and what advice do you have with responding to them?

Dancing to impress the ladies

So I'm not a big fan of dancing, but it apparently brings the ladies.
Thinking about taking some classes. I'm hispanic, so Salsa comes to mind.
What do you anons think? anyone else dance? how do i make myself enjoy it?

Southerner in a strange land

>Live in some sh*t hole southern town for the majority of my life.
>Never know anything but bible thumping and bigotry.
>Move to California for college.
It's as if I'm in some kind of wonderful foreign land. You can actually speak to people without having bible verses thrown at you, and the waiters at restaurants don't try to pray with you before meals.

Survey on gay rights

Rowboats love a good survey thread, and this one will deliver--
The following is a list of questions on LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights, the first five of which have been recent issues in US politics (the fifth is federal law, the others are not). Next to each say "yes," in favor of the legislation, or "no," not in favor. A brief explanation under each is given for foreignf**s.
1) Repealing DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act)
yes = domestic partners receive spousal benefits
2) Pass ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act)
yes = illegal to fire LGBT employees solely on the basis of their orientation
3) Pass civil union legislation
yes = civil unions with equivalent benefits to marriage legal in all states
4) Pass gay marriage
yes = gay marriage legal in all states
5) Amending hate crime legislation to include LGBT persons as a protected category
yes = harsher punishment for crimes of hatred
Supplemental questions:
6) Should LGBT relationships be criminalized?
7) Are your answers different for LGB persons, as opposed to the transgender?
PLEASE ALSO INCLUDE YOUR:
Age,
Gender,
Ethnicity,
Orientation,
Religious belief,
Whether you're located in a red or blue state, per the last presidential election, or what country you're from.
All answers will be compiled and analyzed, and salient results will be provided with supporting charts in this or a subsequent thread. Thanks for participating.

Has your girlfriend ever been raped?

Anyone's gf been raped?

Weird typing habits

ITT: Weird Typing Habits
Every time I type a word with an 'ou' combination, I always end up typing 'ouo' -- nearly 100% of the the time. The word 'though' and 'through' are the biggest offenders, becoming 'thouogh' and 'throuogh'. I have no idea why I do this.
Anyone else have weird, nearly uncontrollable typing habits?
Pic entirely unrelated.

He won't do my butt

Hey anonymous
I'm in a loving relationship but recently my sexual urges have become too much, like the only sexual partner I've ever had is my boyfriend.
He's a bit of a neckbeard and likes playing WoW, but I love him and he loves me.
I explained to him that I wanted to try anal desperately and he said I was disgusting and that he wouldn't stick his c**k in a place where I dump sh*t.
So I got angry and told him if he wouldn't I'd find someone who will, now he hasn't spoken to me in five days and is ignoring me, what should I do?
Pic related, it's me

Blame SleepGuy for lucid dreaming

OK GUYS, I'M PISSED.
I don't know if you guys have been reading the "Sleepguy" or whatever threads the past two days, but ever since I read them I've been experiencing more and more lucid dreams. Last night I had incredibly lucid dreams and it sucked.
I want to sleep goddammit, I don't want to hang out with my friends in a football stadium and then try to pop the pimple behind my eye. F**k that sh*t.
If this "Sleepman" guy is going to ruin my dreams, then I say let's ruin his! It's time to invade his world and ruin his wind skating and movies that seem suspiciously a lot like the movie "Taken."
Who's with me!?

Experiences getting into fights

I'd like to know about us anons and our fighting and/or getting pummelled experiences.
I just got sucker punched by a leb (ausf** here) with all his leb friends and I'm pressing charges.
Tell me how you dealt with getting bashed.
pic related: its who i wish i was with at the time

Can I make money from poker?

Does anyone here play Poker? I've heard some good things about it, would learning to play it be a decent way to earn a bit of cash on the side? As of right now I know essentially nothing about it but am willing to learn how to play.

My friend was stolen by a girl

Does any of anonymous have friends that become no fun as soon as they get a girlfriend?
Jesus Christ, I thought it was a joke at first but I have so many friends that as soon as school finished got some sort of mentality that their fun years are over and that they should settle down at the ripe age of 18.
Not only that, but their girlfriends instantly BALLOON in size way past anything that could be considered f**kable, even if you are into heavy duty chubbies. It's weird because the guys stay in shape and are pretty fit ant toned when compared with their land whale girlfriends- it's not like they should be worried about never getting touched again.
pic related: it's one of these guys and their girl

My first time wasn't a long time

Lost my virginity last night. God damn it, you guys were right. NOTHING can prepare you for the sensation of f**king a pu**y. I came in 10 seconds.....
FELT GOOD MAN!!!!

What do you like or dislike about your girlfriend or boyfriend?

Post what you love or hate about your boyfriend/girlfriend, anonymous
Feel free to post pictures too
I'm aware this'll probably turn into a pseudo-camwh**re bragging and trolling clusterf**k but it's interesting to see who yo guys date

Know anyone who has committed suicide?

Do you know anyone who's committed suicide?
Have you ever attempted to kill yourself?

Grumbling about female body hair

You know what grosses me out in woman?
Arm hair.
Jesus christ I find it repulsive, I know women are humans and they are supposed to get it and bla bla bla but...sh*t doesn't fly in my radar, got this 7/10 girl interested in me and I can't convince myself to date her just because of the arm hair... :(

Ask a blind guy anything (again)

It was suggested I make a new thread since the last one got too many replies. Last one was good lets keep it going, this is fun.
*First let me clarify some things*
-I've been blind since birth (Leber's congenital amaurosis)
-My brother is reading all these questions (the good ones anyways) to me because a screen reader would take forever to do it.
-My dreams are audio,smell,and touch intense; although sometimes I do have slight imagery.
-I have never tried drugs (had it asked a few times)
-I stop wiping when I feel clean
-Because of the cinammon sugar swirls in every bite
-I'm 18,A virgin,and Yes I do masturbate (pornfortheblind dot org)

Translate rap lyrics to plain english

(post rap lyrics and attempt to translate posted lyrics into english)
"I got key by the three when I chirp shawty chirp back
louie nap sack where I holdin all da work at
loaded fo fo on the low where da cheese at
fresh out the jet to the jects where da G's at"

Did therapy work for your social anxiety

Has anyone here ever been to a therapist/psychiatrist?
I'm thinking of going in for my severe social anxiety, but unless they're loading me up on medication, I don't see how they can fix me. For the last few years I've been popping vicodin just so I can function outside of my house without staring at the floor, or constantly biting my lip, but I know that's going to kill my liver if I keep up with it.

Annoying emoticons

Is anyone else annoyed at how some people use really stupid emoticons?
Examples include "o3o", "owo", "o.o", "Dx" etc - That just makes me want to hit you in the face.
I'm fine with normal ones like ":)", ":p", ":D"

Farthest you ever got with a woman

ITT: the farthest you've ever gone with a women
hand holding

Your sexual fantasies

What are yout sexual fantasies anonymous?
Please share, and state your gender.
Mine has always been doing it with a posh British girl, it's the accent. it always does it for me.

What's sex in public like

anonymous
Just how doable is sex in public?
Now, I've heard about couples f**king in public or at least giving each other oral, fingering/wanking each other, etc, but I also know that getting caught doing this can result in a night in the cells and public embarrassment. Two things I'd rather avoid as I have a decent job and this would ruin it.
So what can you do that still has that feeling of naughtiness in public, without a huge chance of getting caught?
Stories of your sexual acts in public please :]
pic related - I'd like to do something a bit more discreet than that.

Fighting leads to twincest leads to awkwardness

You guys remember that post I made about how I was starting to find my twin brother hot a while ago? Yeah, well something happened last night.
>get high with brother
>play fights with brother, pushes him against table, falls down
>goes after me, grabs my leg, i fall, he pins me down
>trap him with my legs, grinds onto him
>gets freaked out
>pushes him on bed, starts talking dirty
>gets seriously f**king pissed
>big f**king long-ass fight
>blurts out if he wants me to f**k him, i say f**kyea
>get angerf**ked
>brother gets meltdown halfway through f**king
>give him bj
>end up having consensual sex
Woke up about 3 hours ago. Haven't talked. I seriously want to f**king hang myself.

What noises do you make during sex?

Question for you anonymous
What noises do you make during sex?
How often do you make them?
Do you talk during sex?
What do you say?
I grunt and moan a bit, but rarely say anything

I think my fantasies are deviant

Ok so I have this fetish anonymous and I was wondering if there were any other female anonymous who share it with me. I love to fantasises about being a little girl getting f**ked/abused by an adult. Like a 10-12 year old nymphette who Daddy can't take his hands off. I have never been sexually abused, have no desire to actually be raped... It's getting to the point now when I'm f**king my boyfriend and closing my eyes pretending he's a father figure forcing himself on me. Am I completely alone on this?

I lost my virginity

sup anonymous
I posted yesterday about how I was gonna lose my virginity today. Well I did.
It was awesome mostly, the foreplay and touching etc were great. Blowjob was amazing.
The actual intercourse didn;t really do anything for me though. It was great being close to my gf and everything, but in terms of sexual pleasure there was almost none.
After about 40 mins of sex and me not being able to come, she finished me off with a blowjob, which was great.
Does anyone else feel like vaginal intercourse is not that great in terms of "orgasmic feelings"?

She calls me daddy

>f**king latina chick in the ass
>things going great
>out of f**king nowhere she calls me "daddy" and "papi" (spanish word for daddy)
>LOSE F**KING ERECTION
What is it with women calling a guy she's f**king daddy?

The girls I like have herpes

>start talking to girl from HS I was too pu**y to before
>she has a BF, but they aren't working out
>we hit it off, they break up
>she tells me not to fall for her because it won't work because of a secret she's keeping
>wreck my mind about what it is, but still fall for her and her for me
>finally reveals to me she has herpes and she got it a week before we fell for each other
>realize this is the second time this has happened to me
pic somewhat related, makes me think of her

Hookups on craigslist

Has any anons ever any experiences with women on craigslist? I've seen some pages where women just ask for company for men. Do you guys pay for your services? Or do you get lucky with ronery women and bang them. Let me your stories, I'm trying to see if its worth it.
picture related: google imaged craigslist

I like butch girls

Alright, this isn't a 'ronery'-thread, sine I'm not ronery at all.
BUT, I do have an interesting question for you anons.
What do you think of a butch girl?
A butch girl, or just butch, is a masculine female. Not necessarily one with huge biceps and six-pack, but a non-girly girl. The tough girl. The kind of girl who isn't afraid to get dirty, fight, get in trouble with the law, drugs, etc.
Man I'd love one. My nature is very impulsive and seem to offend a lot of women (which I honestly don't give two sh*ts about) and so whenever I do something "weird", like, I don't know, run down the mall naked, bet that I won't be able to swallow toothpaste, jump in that muddy trentch or mix foods that totally don't fit together. It's not immature per-say, its more about me not being serious and just not caring.
I think girls/women now a day are too girly for my liking. Hating the rain because their hair gets wet, using shades when its not sunny, always complaining about weight, using too much makeup.

She lets me wee in her bum

Ask a guy who has a gf that lets me piss in her ass anything

I like her plain

Is there any appropriate way to tell your girlfriend to stop trying to be sexy?
I've been dating this nerdy girl for the last few months, and whenever she tries to surprise me with sex, she does the exact thing that doesn't turn me on. She'll get all dressed in dark/red lingerie, make up, make around like some kind of stripper/seductress, and worst of all the high heels. It's like some kind of sh*t out of a 50s porno magazine.
I know this would probably be great for most guys, but the thing that I was originally attracted to about her is that she was rather plain. I've always been into the "girl next door" type, and when she dresses up like that, it kills it for me.
How can you possibly tell your girlfriend to stop trying to be sexy, and go back to looking plain? It doesn't seem like it would go over well.

How do I cam for cash

hey anons, i need money quick and im just giving in and gonna start selling my muscly ass on cam. anyone have any ideas how to get started?

Got HIV from my first gay experience

Life is an a**hole, anons.
After much deliberation, I finally had my first gay experience. Two months later I've been feeling like sh*t, got myself tested and it appears that I have HIV. This is the first time I'm sober since I found out about it last week. How do I feel? Well gee, realizing I'll never have children f**king sucks, aside from the fact that, well you know, HIV infected people aren't high on any girls list.
At least I can have unprotected sex with prostitutes now.
As long as you look fit and /fa/, they'll take the chances if you're willing to pay more.
F**k my goddamn life. Ask me anything.

Have extra cash and idle hands

Sup people. Please stay with me.
The other day me and a friend were discussing our current financial situations. We did some math and came up with how much money we both had saved up.
Between the two of us, we have approximately 12,500 or so dollars saved up. Give or take a hundred there and there.
We wanted to get sum escorts for a weekend in Vegas for my birthday. But we scrapped that quickly when one of us suggested instead that we pool our money, and execute a plan so far-fetched(?) that it would make people think we're a fukken nuts.
tl;dr. We wanna f**k Sasha Grey or Stoya, but we only have about 12 grand between the 2 of us. How much more money do you think we need? And is this plan even worth pursuing? Also, we're late 20's, both of us. If that helps.
Pic related.

She will forgive me

I f**ked up bad, anons.
I'm in a LDR with the woman I love. I cheated on her, and because I love her so much, I told her of my mistake. Being in a LDR is hard, but we see each other often and when we do - it's f**king amazing.
She says she can't just stay with me even though she loves me. And I'm hoping that it's temporary.. she is visiting this summer. She would have came in July, but since I'm a dumbsh*t and cheated, she's only coming in September for about a month.
I have viisted her country and met her whole family. They are all great people. I want this woman for the rest of my life, and I would even MOVE to her country (Austria) just to be with her.
But I have failed her. One night I got horny and let a friend (female) grope me. I felt bad so I stopped. And then we did that later again but outside of my clothing(think pg-13 sh*t). No sex or kissing was involved.
What the f**k do I do? :( I have hope. I believe that when she sees me again she will forgive me and put it in the past. We both love each other to death and we are both suffering because of my actions. Sorry, I had to vent.
Any input is appreciated. Even trolls.

Women's porn habits

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Count thy blessings

Okay /neckbeard9k/, time to do some math. How many blowjobs have you recieved in your lifetime, and how old are you now? Reply, even if your number is zero.
I'm 27, and my estimate is somewhere between 4,500 and 5,000. I lost my virginity at 18 and have had sex with two women. What about you guys?

Let's not assume

Do women masturbate in groups like guys do?
Every man with friends has at least masturbated once in a group of 3 when they were younger, so why don't women?
If they do circle jerk then why is it not mentioned as much as when guys circle jerk?

Can you feel his climax?

Guys, what does it feel like to blow your load in a girls ass?
females, what's it feel like to have a guy cum in your ass?

Feminist here ask me anything

Feminist here ask me anything.

I might be too old for her

Today I met an absolutely beautiful girl at the venue where I work after a concert, looks a bit like Zooey Deschanel. She was funny, mature, seemingly intelligent and street smart. We talked for a bit about the bands, banal crap, until she said that she wanted to see me again. We exchanged numbers, and she walked away with her friends.
Problem is, she's 14 and Im 22.
So what exactly is anonymous's opinion on jail bait girls? I do wanna see her again at least once, but I dont wanna end up in a bad spot.

What are your thoughts when you pass by someone?

When I walk by someone I try to find something negative about them and then have an uncontrolled derogatory thought train.
Example:
>Pass by an overweight woman
"f**king fat wh**re jesus christ f**king die stupid sh*t"
>Pass by a guy texting on his cell phone
"braindead retard can't get off his phone for one second f**king hipster bitch f**k"
I've been doing this since as long as I can remember, and like I said it's not intentional. Does this happen to anyone else?

Can't measure up to dad

Just wanted to vent real quick anonymous. Sorry if it's boring.
I was a virgin up until 3 months ago. The first chick was nasty. Just an ugly girl to practice with and get some experience. But I've started seeing this woman in the past week who is absolutely gorgeous. I mean downright stunning! She's a 37 year old mom who could easily pass for ten years younger.
I'm REALLY proud of this most recent conquest. I'm 23 and relatively inexperienced, so I think it's a pretty incredible accomplishment on my part to have landed a MILF. So when my dad called me this afternoon to ask what was going on in my life, I decided to share the news with him.
Now, I've never really had a girlfriend so I've never had the opportunity to show off a girl to my folks. We've never talked about it, but I know my dad knows that I was never all that popular with women (until recently that is). My dad, on the other hand, couldn't keep girls off of him when he was my age so I was sure he would be pleasantly surprised.
Instead, he was concerned.
He was worried about what a woman that much older could really want from me, whether I was protecting myself from STDs, what my mother would say, etc. All legitimate concerns, and don't get me wrong; I LOVE that my dad is more concerned about my well-being than anything else. He's a good man and a great dad.
But I really wanted a pat on the back with this one. You know? A bro fist, a proud smile, and a "Nice, son" from my father would've made my year.
Just wish that had been in there somewhere along with the parental concern. Would've been nice to feel like I'd made my dad proud and showed him that his son, while a slow starter, was a chip off the old block.

What would you change about your past?

If you could change one thing about your past let me know what it was?
Me:
I'd run away from home, I wouldn't let myself get abused like a fa**ot. I'd tell somebody.
I'd go to a home, and my life would be much better, I'd go to school and get good grades, and everything would be better. I would probably be in university by now. :)

My boyfriend fantasizes about being a trap

Yesterday my boyfriend nervously confessed he liked traps and liked to fantasize about being one.
That night I'd put him in my black, knee high socks, bra and skirts.
I bent him over and slipped two lubed-up fingers inside of him, then I positioned my hips behind my hand and thrusted into him.
He even let me pull his hair and spank him once while we f**ked.
Afterwards we snuggled together and fell asleep in each other arms.
This morning we ordered our first strap on.
I love my boyfriend anonymous.
I'm curious though, how many men have secret desire to let women dominate them in such a way? Things like letting us dress you and pound you?
It's supposed to feel incredibly....liberating....
Tell me your f**ked up desire anonymous.
I'm incredibly open.

Why are mothers so amazing?

I'm 18 and I just spent the last hour baaawww'ing into my mothers shoulders about all my problems.
All the while she was talking to me and giving me advice.
By the end of it, I felt like I could move mountains; and I still do.
How do they do that?
She said one thing to me that really struck me...
'Sometimes you just need a fresh pair of eyes to look at a situation and then it all becomes clear. When you're upset you tend to think with your heart and not your head'.
My mind has been thoroughly blown, that's just so wisdomous.
ITT: We talk about how much we love our mothers and why.
P.S - I'm a girl so I'm allowed to cry So are men but I thought you'd call me a fa**ot.

Can I untwist my testicle myself?

ATTENTION DOCTO[anonymous],
Poorf** here.
I have an excruciating pain coming from my right testicle. Interwebs says it's testicular torsion and that I only have six hours. Can I just untwist this sh*t myself, or do I really need surgery?

Grower versus shower

So tell me anons.
Which is better. Being a grower or a shower?

Witty without trying

Are you witty, anonymous?
The other day one of my coworkers asked me, "If you could f**k anyone living or dead, who would you choose?"
After a brief pause, I answered "Well obviously living."
Now he thought that was hilarious but the truth was that I wasn't being snide, I just really thought that's what he was asking as a trick question and that he was going to follow it up with something.
That's a horrible example of course but hopefully you guys have better ones.

It runs in the family

I looked into my dads drawer todays to snoop.
I found a penis pump and pills to increase penis size.
I wanted to cry, because I can relate.
Any logical way to increase penis size?

The most boring way to spend a night in bed

My girl jokes about my ability to perform in front of my friends, and often jokes "rape me!", when secretly in reality, it is her who has the condition and is unable to have sex. I am completely unsure on how to proceed with this situation.

Losing my virginity tomorrow

Hi anonymous,
Losing my virginity tomorrow.
She's much, much more experienced than me.
Any tips?
(No tips about premature ejaculation are needed)

This is taking a great toll on me

fellow anons, I have found myself between a rock and porn. I have been addicted to it as well as masturbating for almost a year now. I have had great trouble quitting and sometimes when I do it gets worse. The longest I went without an orgasm was about 10 days.
it gets worse...
There have been days when I can cum up to 9 times within 18 hours... This is taking a great toll on me, my body, and my academic performance. I commonly find myself procastrubating and then hating myself greatly for it. I cannot go on like this.
I even went to the point to block it, and sadly sometimes I unblock it just to have an orgasm.
I disappoint myself almost on a daily basis.
I would like some serious advice...

Females hang off my every word

So anons,
I'm an engineer. I've studied mechanical and industrial engineering. This basically allows me to know how 99% of sh*t it made and how it works. I've also worked as a programmer, sports coach (track, soccer), construction labourer and now am a business manager. I've travelled pretty much everywhere on earth both with work and on holiday. Aced lit subjects back in highschool, studied art, play guitar and piano (15 years). I am realising that as my social confidence has grown I have become a f**king god tier conversationalist. I seem to be able to make anything interesting.
Still, only about 6/10 strangely quiet, fairly shy guy who speaks low and is a bit of an arsehole. But I'm finding these days that I only have to inject a few words of wisdom into any given conversation, about anything, and females begin to hang off my every word, often ignoring richer, more attractive guys. Of course ladies never hit on me out of the blue, but once we're talking it's all over for other chaps.
Moral: betas can destroy alphas any day of the week.
Tips for endless women:
Learn how sh*t works, everyone is interested, at least on some level, how stuff works, it just needs to be explained to them in the right way.
Learn how to fix that sh*t, in this disposable culture it's becoming a rare talent to be able to dive in and repair stuff. People will be very impressed if you can fix something they would have tossed.
Get yourself a bit of a travelling trump card (E.g. Arctic Circle, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Bosnia etc.) so next time some sh*t raves about how sweet the hostels are in Amsterdam you can blow him away.
Learn an instrument. Speaks for itself, but usually use it as the icing, a kind of btw thing.
I find that 99 times out of 100, those 4 things make me the most interesting person in the room.
Pic unrelated, it's the gun that started WWI.

It'll be more hygienic that way

Does anyone here shave his ass hair? I'm thinking of doing it because I have a ton and it'll be more hygienic that way. Plus sometimes my anus itches because there's still sh*t on some hairs.

This is why men go gay

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Suddenly it went all wrong

Recently I told my girlfriend we should talk about our sex fantasies, we tried few things out, but suddenly it went all wrong.
This is what my girlfriend wants from me. What should I do, how should I act?
Her: *laughs* Then I suppose I'd teach you to suck c**k too. Give you to more frequent guests and tell them you were learning. Teach you the tricks of the trade.
Her: Put you in a room with the hookers--naughty, cruel girls sometimes--and have them train you
Her: Humiliate you, teach you how to do well
Her: They'd appraise your body, fix you up to look nice
me: how so
Her: They'd teach you about toys and about what customers liked
Her: Ah, make your hair pretty, face pretty, body more toned
Her:For whatever customers make you more girly or more manly, whichever needed
Her: And they'd tell you since you didn't have a pu**y--you'd need to make up for it
Her: And they'd f**k your ass with strapons, and bring in customers to f**k your pretty little ass too
Her: And laughingly tell you that that was your new 'pu**y'
Her: They'd demean you, of course, call you fa**ot and slut and c**kwh**re, and unmanly...Feminine, a disgrace to males
Her: They'd slap your ass and laugh
Her: And pleasure you then leave you at the edge of climax
Her: Hands tied
Her: No way to get pleasure except from other people
Her:Who would laugh and watch you suffer
Her:They'd have customers feed you their cum, and ask you how it tasted, and slap you until you said you loved it
Her:And not just said, really loved it
Her: And once you were thoroughly slapped around so that you loved the taste
Her: They'd teach you how to take pain--because surely, surely customers, some of them would be sadistic, and a good wh**re is always able to ttake any sort of a customer's pleasure

Where does she like to be touched?

anons, my curiosity has been aroused.
Where do your girlfriends like to be touched intimately? Apart from the bleeding obvious (no pun intended) is there anywhere unusual you females like to be stimulated?

She's very amazing in all other aspects

my girlfriend likes me to slap her around and beat her (not heavily). I can't do this, and whenever I decline I feel like a little pu**y but I was raised not to hit women. She means it in a complete sexual manner and also enjoys me calling her names but I can't help but feel like a moron when I do that. She's the first girl I've ever met who likes this sh*t, what the f**k?

whatever, not troll.

Geek inspired bedroom outfits

Your girlfriend is offering to purchase and wear one costume for you in the bedroom.
What do you choose?

I used to be a bad boy

I come seeking your sage wisdom.
I take the commuter train to class and work every day. I see this latina girl who I'd guess to be in her teens when I go to class in the afternoon. Apparently, she has a crush on me. She sits next to me and talks to me, and says she remembers me from a few years ago. Sadly, a few years ago I sold drugs and fire arms to mexican gangs around where she lives. This is apparently an attractive quality and she says , going to try and quote this "you're way more real than the posers at my school, all the do is sell bud and harass security". Don't know why she'd remember me for that, I was a scumbag scamming doctors and breaking into homes for pistols.
I am fully reformed now, have a job, and am doing great at a community college. Was accepted into USC this fall. I work a real job and don't consume or sell drugs any more. Only thing I take is my roxicet's for my back pain. And I only use 60 a month, from one doctor.
So how do I go about f**king her, she's very cute, when she thinks I'm some gangbanger or something when in reality I never was in a gang, and I'm f**king white. She'd of had to been 12-13 when she remembered me, I look the same just thicker beard and more receding hairline. been years since I've did anything shady. I'm in my mid 20's.
>TLDR: How do i f**k girl who thinks im someone i'm not?

Sharpie can't enter

so i feel kinda silly, i just tried the whole sharpie in pooper thing, but i cant for the life of me get it in. Its like the entrance to ass is blocked, despite me being relaxed and aroused.
I just cant get in there.
Any tips on what i should do?

I'm only attracted to mega twinks

So I signed up for a Manhunt account, because I wanted to try sucking a guy off, I've always liked guys. the first dude who contacted me was this guy in his late 20s (I'm 18) and I decided to just do it
So we went to this hotel, and f**k. I just wasn't attracted to him at all. I felt terrible. He said he liked me but he could definitely tell I wasn't into it, even a little bit so we just parted ways. He was super nice and I felt f**king terrible. So now I guess I'm not really a gay virgin anymore, but man that was terrible.
I think I'm only attracted to mega twinks. I almost threw up when he kissed me. Twice. I know this belongs in the awkward sex thread but I can't find it

Right now I'm cleaning my house

Hey anons.
Right now I'm wearing panties, a dress, make up, a wig and a butt plug while cleaning my house.
Ask me anything.
and no I won't post pics.

I'm completely stable in every other way

Inspired by a different thread.
I want my boyfriend to rape me.
I want him to find me somewhere, kidnap me, blindfold me, and f**k the sh*t out of me.
I want him to hold me down, fight back, and overpower me. I want him to f**k me without any regard for my own pleasure. I want him to smack me around and toss me like a ragdoll. I want him to take me any way he wants.
Then, I want him to tie me to something and leave me blindfolded and naked alone in a room until he decides he wants to f**k me again.
We've messed around with it before. He smacks me around a bit, he knows I like to fight him, he calls me bitch and slut and wh**re, and so on.
But I want the full experience. I really want to try to resist him as he rips all of my clothing off. I want him to force my legs apart and slam his dick into my pu**y. I want it to feel like he hates me as he f**ks me.
But I don't know how exactly to bring it up.
How would you react if your girlfriend told you this?
What do I do?

Epic thread of awkward sexual stories

ITT awkward sexual stories
>be in closet
>invite boy over to parents house
>fool around and end up sleeping with boy
>mom walks into my room in the morning for whatever reason
>mom sees me in bed with another boy
>mom turns 360 degrees and walk away
>mom never brings it up and still assumes I am straight.
>mom says things like "I hope you find that special girl one day"
>have no plans of coming out of the closet any time soon

I can only fap by bed humping

Does anyone else only fap by bed humping?
I hump my mattress and eventually cum,usually in a napkin but sometimes in my boxers. I only was able to fap with my hands once. I been fapping by bed humping since I was 16. Do you consider this normal? I read somewhere that this habit is eventually replaced by regular hand fapping, but I can't seem to fap with my hands.

Wrong hole, now denied

three weeks ago I was having sex with my girlfriend, and the most horrific 'accident' happened, that left me sexless, for about, well, three weeks.
I love the missionary position, and I tend to hold her in a way where she can't move, or push me of, and my hands are holding her wrists so, basically I can f**k mercilessly, I like it that way. However, during the final seconds that I was about to come, it umm...
...
...
...
Slipped.
Yes gentlemen, I slipped. It went in the wrong hole, and it was that fraction of a second where I came. She tried pushing me off but she couldn't because of the way I held her. She started screaming in pain, and I have never heard her scream as loud as that day. For about to seconds in there when I was coming, I realized I was in the wrong hole, and logic came back rushing into my brain that she's hurting, I pulled out and she was just crying.
I've been sexless for three weeks now. I think I suffered more than her now, don't you think?
*Pic Related [not us though]

Need advice for having sex with a virgin

i dont have much experience in sex and tomorrow i will do it with virgin girl...
now teh questions
1.should i use my penis or finger to deflorate her? 2.will she bleed much?
3.should i keep going if blood is on my penis?
4.will i feel bursting of her hymen?
5.will that hurt her much?

International flavours of humour

What's your country's humor like?
The British tend to be sarcasm/irony based, sort of back of the hand put downs.
In a word, cynicism.

Ask a blind guy anything

*First let me clarify some things*
-I've been blind since birth (Leber's congenital amaurosis)
-My brother is reading all these questions (the good ones anyways) to me because a screen reader would take forever to do it.
-My dreams are audio,smell,and touch intense; although sometimes I do have slight imagery.
-I have never tried drugs (had it asked a few times)
-I stop wiping when I feel clean
-Because of the cinammon sugar swirls in every bite
-I'm 18,A virgin,and Yes I do masturbate (pornfortheblind dot org)

The etiquette of Sir in the military

Why is using "sir" offensive in the army?

Need tips for paintball

anonymous
Going paintballing for the first time tomorrow. What's it like? Anything I need to look out for (other than getting shot obviously)

Fat girls have it easier than fat guys

This is truth. Fat women can get male companionship whenever they want. He might not be Brad Pitt, but he'll be someone. And sometimes the guys can be decent looking.
Fat men have to pay for companionship, either directly via prostitution, or indirectly, by being wealthy and pampering his little golddigging c**t of a woman.

Would you date a handicapped person

Question for the womenz:
Would you date someone with some sort of a physical handicap?
I'm legally blind and have had short and long term relationships. I can function almost completely normally except in the dark. Also I will never be able to drive.
Would the average women still go for someone like me? Would you go for someone completely blind? Or missing a limb? Or disfigured?
And side note: I'm not personally asking about myself. I just wanna know the general consensus of where you draw the line.

Inconsistent personal choices

I need help understanding this. I was looking "the two of you" on someone's profile on OkCupid, she is a bisexual girl and says that she would not date a bisexual. I don't understand this, I mean she's bisexual herself.
Additionally, another bi-girl's profile I was looking at answered a the question "what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" and said girl-girl is okay but not guy-guy.

My parents were disappoint

What is the most disappointing thing you've ever done?
I'm 23 and have never had a girlfriend. One day my parents thought I finally did, a girl came over. It was a drug dealing stripper. My parents were supposed to be gone until 5 PM. Dad came home early. Walked in with stripper on my couch, her slut-tastic high heels on the floor, the wonderful sight of burnt spoons, wheel filters, and needles on his coffee table, and the wonderful conversation consisting of "If you like this, i have a few vials of liquid morphine for $70 each"
They now think I am a heroin addict (I am I guess...) who pays for sex and probably has HIV. Meh.

Can I get laid without a car?

Is it possible to get laid with out a car? Ignoring taxis, i'd rather jerk off than pay their fare.
The few times I've gotten close
>no, i dont wanna come over, YOU come over
>motels are cheap, no thanks
>why havent you moved out? get your own place (While she also lives with her parents, or leeches off a boyfriend)
Why won't girls come over? Annoying as f**king sh*t.

Customer horror stories

ITT: Post stories about dumbf**k/stupid/retarded/loud/rude/bitchy/ect customers at jobs you once worked at or at a job you work at currently.
pic not related

How do you organize your files?

How are your files organized on your computer?

Basically, I'm a slutty bitch

Trawling through random people's emails, mostly looking for interesting tidbits. Come across this, between two of my teachers last year:
Katherine: sooo i have a date with my not-a-boyfriend tomorrow, but there may be some tale-tell evidence of my saturday activities.... now i'm a bit nervous
me: oh Lite-Brite...looks like it could get a little tangled
Katherine: yeah, i didn't think things through
and wasn't really expecting a lasting welt
me: geez...how might this guy find out?
Katherine: the hand shaped bruise on my ass would be a clue...
me: well gee...that would mean he would have to have access to said ass, right?

unless that's a foregone conclusion
Katherine: sort of foregone... see, we've had sex before, (once), and it wasn't very good. so i'm gonna give it another shot with this guy
then, if it's stil bad, we have to have the "talk"
me: somehow, I don't anticipate a resolution that is good for all parties
Katherine: see, not-a-boyfriend likes me way more than i like him, and while i see this as fun, casual dating, i think he wants to be my real boyfriend. problem is, he's not really bf material
so, basically, i'm a slutty bitch :-/
me: well...i guess he'll just have to figure out how to read the writing on the wall...if such messages exist

Worst part is, she's not even very attractive. At all. And the not-good-at-sex guy, from other emails, seems sort of anonymous+5 years style, whereas the other one is older and richer.

Your online dating experiences

Firstly, I'm a girl. I set up a account on OKCupid tonight to just try out the service since I've heard so much about it. I'm not really taking too seriously.
I didn't spend too much time on my profile, just put in some basic things and made quick lists of things I like. I have 3 pictures. I think I am a 6 (maybe a 7 if you're drunk) on the attractiveness scale. In one hour, ~20 people have viewed my profile and 2 have sent me messages.
One is a Latvian guy who is 10 years older than I am! The other is 2 years younger than me! Both of them write like high school kids. By the way, I am 24 years old.
Any other girls (or guys with fake girl accounts) want to share their experiences?

Catholicism is one big costume party

Does anybody really believe in the whole Catholic sh*t? I mean religion in itself is really dumb, but the Catholics with all their f**kin costumes and props and stories about saints doing sh*t like they had mutant powers...I mean come on. Seriously.
I know people profess belief in sh*t that they dont really truly believe in, like when they say the pledge of allegiance. But Im wondering if theres anybody who totally buys into all the catholic bullsh*t.
Ive seen that the people who swear by the catholic sh*t the most are old spics and wops, and even to a lesser degree, the Micks. But I look at all their outlandish dress and stories about powers and divinities and all that sh*t and I am amazed how anybody living in 21st century America can even sit through a whole mass with a straight face.

Attractiveness beats pathological lying and sexual dysfunction

Allright I'm gonna share,
The hottest girl I know is also the most f**ked up. She is a total spaz in bed and it's actually a lot of work to have sex with her. I have to physically hold her down to avoid getting an elbow to the jaw or a knee to the ribs. She is the most stubborn person I have ever met and will not try anything adventurous or even fun in bed. She barely ever let's me go down on her which any other woman would give me a f**king trophy for my tongue skills. She's never had on orgasm and doesn't masturbate, won't try a vibrator. I bought her a small unintimidating one that goes outside not inside. She gave it away before even trying it. She has a face and body of a model but really low self esteem. She doesn't handle complements well at all and seems not to be able to hold a stable relationship for more than a few months. I've known her for about 15 years now and she is the perfect fantasy girl because she is so much better to have sex with in my fantasies than irl. We still talk txt kisses to each other. She touts that I am the best sex she has ever had.(even though she's never come in her lifetime) Oh and she's a pathological liar, but really good at it. I almost can appreciate that she has lying skills. Way better than a bad liar.
My question is how do I get this girl to become the fantasy? She be perfect if she were more open sexually. (she's never been abused)

DUI arrest experiences

Hello friends.
Have any of you guys been arrested/ convicted of a DUI? Tell me about your experience and if jail time actually learned. The reason why I ask is because I want to propose new legislation to Congress in regards to our DUI laws. I'd rather have the person have their license suspended for a year (First conviction) and work in a prison chain gang.
tl;dr alternate forms of punishment rather than locking DUI people up

The Klan and colonialism

I was reading about the KKK earlier and their website says, basically, that they aren't racist in the sense of hating nonwhites, but their main issue is that they want all races to be separate. They think ni**ers should have always stayed in Africa, mexicans in mexico, etc.
So, by their logic, shouldn't they be apologetic to Native Americans?

What weird quirks do you have?

Things you think only you do
I keep a folder with info that I might find useful in the future
When crossing the street and a car honks at me, I imitate the sound and "honk" back at the driver

Diagnose my rage please

So, I can't stand my housemates. I mean, to the point where I fantasize about killing them. I barely even know them, and I hardly interact with them, but I just can't f**king stand their existence - especially the two girls I live with. They are all loud as f**k with their high-pitched voices. It just makes me want to chop them up it's so f**king annoying. At this point, even the sound of their footsteps in the hallway makes me well up with rage. And I find myself wishing that they would just disappear.
What kind of disorder do I have?

Advice on learning how to play musical instruments

So, anons, I've finally moved to a peaceful place. Free of distractions. Now, I wish to learn to play the piano, the most manly instrument in the world.
Question is: Where should I start?
I noticed a lot of anons are piano players. Care to give advice to an aspiring player? Such as, what are some basic chords I should learn and some basic music theory? Links are the sh*t, man.
Pic related. It's the instrument in its natural habitat

More stupid names for kids

today we had two ten-ish girls come into our office for exams. their parents filled out the paperwork and handed it to me. to my horror, i saw that one of the girls was named jetceah.
i swear to god. her parents gave her the most godawful name in existence, beating even la-a (pronounced la dash a). jesus christ, what sane person (they were white trashy) gived their daughter a name like that if they don't want her to me abused and traumatised for her entire life? give me some names, anonymous and feed my anger

Your first time smoking

What was your first time smoking like?

Epic stories of win

Around 2001 or something:
> Meet girlfriends parents for the first time
> They're rich and have this awesome piano in the living room
> Have a great time with her parents
> Ask about piano and they say it used to belong to grandmother (not dead though, lol)
> Offer to play something
> Play (and sing) Robbies Williams - She's the One
> Mother awed, blushing girlfriend, impressed father and sister complaining she never gets guys like me :D
Or that same year during last school PE.
> Playing baseball on a beautiful spring day
> Some jock dude makes an epic hit
> I believe I can catch it anyway and start running like a mad man, while everyone starts cheering
> Ball starts to make a quick descent and I'm afraid I won't reach it
> Make a stretched jump, barely grab the ball, fall to the ground and stop by making a somersault.
> Raise my hand showing the ball to practically half the school :D
I'm expecting some epic stories, anons.

Jumping to conclusions, one leap at a time

Homicides can be broken into four categories by gender of offender and victim:
Male offender /Male victim 65.1%
Male offender /Female victim 22.4%
Female offender /Male victim 10.1%
Female offender /Female victim 2.4%
It's clear men are much more violent than women. If everyone is willing to admit there are genetic differences between the sexes for levels of aggressiveness, why not simply admit there are probably intelligence differences as well?

How are you sabotaging your relationships?

Hey anonymous, how do you sabotage your own relationships?
Hardmode: Sabotaging them before they even start.

Former soldiers who aren't quite fitting in

Why are people who used to be in the military so f**king WEIRD? (I mean the volunteer soldiers, not the draftees from a sh*t long time ago)
There's this one ex-military f** in my World Religion class who always comes in listening to really loud metal sh*t on his iPod and singing along with the lyrics really loud and he says he's on this f**ked up diet to keep him from being too skinny and make him "manly and fat". What the flying f**k.
Then there's this guy who used to be in the Air Force who talks and dresses like a gay game show host and acts like the bad guy from The Beauty and the Beast.
How the f**k were these people not whipped into shape to act f**king normal during their goddamn term of service damn.

Dubious advice on baby names

anonymous I'm bored and trying to think of future names for my kids (saves me doing it in 10 years time). I'm looking for names that sound cool but aren't already stupidly popular and therefore boring, like Chloe.
What I have so far:
Male - Zenden, Sidney
Female - Paige, Cytherea

I cheated on her but she's already cheated on me twice

I cheated on my girlfriend guys... please kill me...
Pic related, the girl i made out with has tits like those...

What did you eat today?

List what you've eaten so far today

Do you hate your sibling?

Anyone else f**king hate their siblings?
I have to get a major assessment done by tomorrow and my c**t brother decided he wanted to play runescape on my laptop. So after I refused he brought my one year old brother into the room, knowing he's just going to break my sh*t and make it impossible for me to work.
He isn't going to leave for f**king hours, this is why I want to move out
pic related, his face when he walked out

I recently found out I'm very attractive

>GF's always suspect me of cheating, very clingy, very jealous.
>Latest GF tells me I'm insanely attractive, I don't believe her.
>Rated 9.8 on HotorNot
>Start noticing girls doing double takes when they look at me passing by.
>Realize why most girls sleep with me after 2 dates.
>Go to a gay bar, get insanely hit on, basically get free drinks all night.
Has anyone ever suddenly realized you're really attractive when before you thought you were ugly, and suddenly things start making a lot of sense?
Feels good man.

Why did you cheat on your partner?

anonymous why do you cheat? I know not everyone is a cheater but I've seen a lot of post on web where people talk about how they cheat on their significant other. Some of them feel bad while others brag about how they've cheated multiple times and haven't been caught. So tell us why you cheat. What would you do if you were cheated on? People who have cheated or been cheated on feel free to post stories.

I am only attracted to plain women

Guys... I found that I am only attracted to average/slightly below average looking girls now, and I can't fap to porn anymore.
Is this a result of my mind naturally lowering my standards due to my long term virginity or something?

Women undress for pre-recorded attractive man, part 2

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

High schools aren't bastions of feminism

>English teacher asks us whats the definiton of a feminist
>I say "Someone whos ugly and a total bitch"
>recieve gasps and laughs in the whole class
>See girls stay after english class to tell the teacher to punish me
>He says "hes entitled to his opinion"
>my face.jpg

Being called too skinny is actually a compliment?

>Chilling out before class
>Girls start talking about attractive boys
>One of them brings up Robert Pattinson
>Chubby dude calls him gay
>Friendly banter breaks out
>Same chubby then says: So who's the most attractive here?
>All the girls start offering their opinions
>(Yours truly received glowing reviews obviously)
>Then the last girl says: "Anon is too pretty boy and skinny. He looks like he'd snap in a strong wind"
>Suddenly the joking around stop and everyone stares at me waiting for my response
>...
>Her again: "Seriously anon you look 17"
>Everyone: "OOOOOOOH"
>Take one look at her
>"Yeah? Well you're too fat for me anyway"
>She gets up, throws a book at my face calls me a f**king prick and storms out
>"Anon, what the f**k?! You know she's self concious about her weight!"
So calling a skinny person skinny is acceptable but calling a fatty fat is so so horrible?

How much money do you have saved up?

I have:
Checking - $23,452
Savings - $21,503
CD #1 - $10,000
CD #2 - $7,400
(need to slough off some of checking into savings)

Are drugs working for your diagnosed mental illnesses?

Post your clinically diagnosed mental disorders, and whether or not you think medication like is a crutch you will need for the rest of your life, or a temporary solution to a temporary problem.
Please be honest with us and yourself.
My basic understanding of how the human brain works:
-Each mode of human behavior is based upon patterns of neurons we grew to fit a particular situation, or instances similar to it. The more we use these neural pathways, the easier it gets to "compute" that thought process as more neurons are added to the network. These networks expand and connect with other networks; this is the basis of all learning, scholarly or otherwise.
-The neural networks we build in the various learning centers inside the brain communicate to each other with chemical signals. If certain areas of the brain are deprived of these chemical signals then a person's entire biochemistry can be changed, resulting in lack of energy, appetite, and so on.
-Drugs can replace these chemical signals and are a temporary solution which may help in the short-term, but in my opinion can actually make the problem worse given continual use without decreasing dosages. Eventually, like any drug addict, the person is back to where they started, except they have greater difficulty creating new neural networks and changing existing ones. Without the drug they cannot function normally, whereas before they could sometimes feel stable with occasional bouts of panic, anxiety, depression or whatever. normal feelings that every human experiences.
I have never been diagnosed with a mental disorder, but I am fairly positive that these are normal feelings that every human experiences to varying degrees.

Whats it like to date a religious girl as an atheist?

Atheists/Agnostics, what do you think about dating a religious girl? Have you met a 'perfect' girl, yet she tried to force her religion onto you? Even if she did not care so much about religion, have you ever experienced her community/family disapproving of you because you were not a theist? What were your reactions and actions?

Can we just be friends?

Can men and women "just be friends"? Why or why not?

Atheists trolling agnostics

Atheists: Scholars, artists, philosophers, European master race, Brad Pitt, Stephen Fry, Academics, Cowboys, Elite Mangudai, Samuel L. Jackson, Duke Nukem
Agnostics: 12 year olds, hardcore kiddies, mallgoths, preppy white fa**ots, rednecks, Americans, schizoids, angry teenagers, streetcleaners, medieval peasants, people with extreme levels of brain damage
Dear agnostics, please actually have the balls to take a stance.
Thanks,
Atheists

Little white lies lead to insanity

I feel so stupid.
I've been seeing the most wonderful guy, and, until today, we've been completely honest with each other.
Today, I told a white lie, which spiralled out of control and made me look insane.
I had planned to go out for dinner with my parents this evening (UK here, so it's evening now). My boyfriend was going arrange something with a friend.
It turned out that I went out with my parents this afternoon, and so had the evening free. Back at my apartment, I settled down with a book.
My boyfriend worries about me being lonely when I'm home by myself. I like being by myself, but he worries anyway. So it seemed easier not to tell him I was home.
When he text to say he had arranged to go out to dinner, I text back that I was still at the restaurant. STUPID, I know, but it just seemed easier.
About half an hour later he text to ask whether I was home now. I text back, no, we're still eating. Then he said that he thought I was home because I was showing there on Google Map.
No! I'd forgotten that my new phone (pic related) gave him my location. Rather than fess up, I panicked. I said that the restaurant was in the country (it was) and that there mustn't be much signal.
Here comes the insane part. I realised that the lie was poor, and thought I could solve it by showing my location appear near the restaurant (about 9 miles away). I grabbed my coat, and ran for a bus to take me there.
Halfway there, guilt hit me. I was being stupid. I was lying to the man I love for no good reason. It all felt out of control.
So I called him, and confessed. Now he must think I'm insane (probably, for him) or covering up a bigger lie (I'm not - he's the best thing that's ever happened to me).
He's gone for dinner with his friend and is going to call me later. How do I explain why I did what I did? How do I make him know it's the truth?