>On bus, shades on staring straight
>Big water bottle full of beer in lap.
>Teenage girl sits next to me
>I take drink, she asks "is that beer"
>I don't even look her way
>"No it's apple juice."
>"Oh..."
>Sister comes in and tries to grab remote
>I punch her straight in the c**t and she falls down crying.
>Turn up TV and ignore
>Get put on some district "Current Events" team by economics teacher.
>Don't Study
>Teacher hands me a packet of study materials the day before the test
>throw them away
>go to test
>1st place
>going to state finales.
>go on chatroulette
>gay guy thinks I'm hot
>See slut on street while driving
>Have 40oz slurpee
>Throw out window
>hits slut in face
>Drive away with middle finger out
>Cut thumb sharpening knife.
>Pinched it quick, went to the bathroom and super glued it back together.
>Watched it heal in 3 days.
>first day of university
>walk around looking for the bathroom
>walk into computer lab to inquire
>say, "is this the bathroom?" instead of "where is the bathroom?" by accident
>wtf stares from everyone
>back out slowly
>F**K YEAH.....
>Cops ask me to stop on the street
>search me for a stolen wallet
>ask where I live
>I don't tell them
>They grab my arm and throw me in the car
>Drive by Tea Bagger rally
>Teabaggers scream obscenities, hold up little black dolls from nooses
>I'm black
>Pull over
>Herd of teabaggers disperse
>wearing sunglasses while eating dinner with parents
>mom asks me to take them off
>I say no
>she says it's rude
>deal with it
Threw a thermos cup on the ground in a moment of excitement while watching sport. It bounced about shoulder height and flew across the room and landed, upright, on the cup shelf in among the other cups, without breaking anything.
I was like 8o for days.
>wearing sunglasses while eating dinner with parents
>mom asks me to take them off
>I say no
>she says it's rude
>deal with it
>wearing sunglasses indoors
Well you're just king of the fa**ots now aren't you.
>hot body and face
>all mr
>hear guys complain about all women being wh**res
>I'm a virgin
>Riding my bike
>oil spill
>i dont notice till I'm slipping and losing traction
>back tyre kicks right. (Acceleration + no grip)
>drifting through the road on two wheels
>get back on control
>stop at the next signal
>people staring, one biker gives me a thumbs up.
in waldenbooks talkin w/ a bro about the dalai lama and him saying he may not choose to come back after he dies in fear of allowing the ccp to manipulate his status to control tibet as they try to do with the panchen lama
some lady comes up to me ands like 'actually the dalai lama doesnt choose what he comes back as because reincarnation depends on karma'
n im all 'well actually the dalai lama is the tulku or human body receptacle for the bodhisattva avelokitesvara, who technclly already attained nirvana but deliberately avoids leaving samsara n reincarnates in human form to ease the suffering of all living beings, so technicaly you're right that he doesnt choose the form but he aint gona be anything but human, his choice is to come back or not."
f**kyeah.jpg amirite
>posting story on web
>one line at a time
>all in greentext
>only way anyone will notice me
>have threesome with two girls
>leave through backdoor as their boyfriends come in
>f**k yeah
If you were on a bicycle, props man.
If you were on a motorcycle, well whatever.
Motorbike. I was doing 60mph. Sh*t was scary.
>Go to party
>Friend has 3some with 18 and 13 yr old
>Feel jealous
>The chicks are ugly
F**K YEAAHH
>Go to party with beers
>cute but annoying girl wants one
>tell her no
>gives me blowjob for a beer
>good trade
>Sister comes in and tries to grab remote
>I punch her straight in the c**t and she falls down crying.
>Turn up TV and ignore
>Playing soccer
>Jump haphazardly to deflect goal kick
>Ball is heading straight for my testicles
>Catch ball with knees in mid air
>Land perfectly
>Applause
>Cut thumb sharpening knife.
>Pinched it quick, went to the bathroom and super glued it back together.
>Watched it heal in 3 days.
Hey I thought only I used superglue :D
I use a styptic pencil now.
>friends all taking acid
>take some acid to be cool
>magical colors and images appear
>attempt to remove own intestines with a hatchet
>Little depressed about myself, talking to ex on MSN
>Ex admits that dumping me was stupid idea. Wants to get back together.
>"F**k no, sex with you was worse than abstinence"
>Tears from ex
F**K YEAH
> in turn lane
> done with soda
> throw over car
> hit motorcyclist two lanes over
> immediately my light turns green
>Didn't go to Music Theory class all semester
>Go into Final Exam
>Finish in 15 minutes, before anyone else
>Check grades the next day
>A-
>f**k yea
>playing frisby
>friend is trash-talking me
>whip frisby at his face
>he gets a nosebleed
>f**k yeah
>On bus, shades on staring straight
>Old woman gets on bus, no place for her to sit.
>Every one else kind of looks away.
>"Here Ma'am, please take my seat."
>"It's good to see chivalry is still alive in your generation."
White knight f**k yeah. :3
>In Iraq
>Smoking a Marlboro red while on patrol
>Sand Ni**er with AK aiming at my bro
>Light him up, he fires into the wall and dies.
>F**K YEAH
>go to library, check out movies
>pay a dollar for each
>return a week late
>don't go back to sh*tty library because of overdue fees of another dollar
>f**k yeah
>posting thread on ck asking for a recipe for chicken
>bunch of fa**ot comments
>disregard comments
>bake chicken with olive oil and sh*tload of spices
>chicken turns delicious
>f**k yeah
>picture related
>cook chicken
>looks like vagina
>eat it passionately
> in club drunk
> big gu yattacks my bro
> knock him out with a punch
> get shouted a drink
>>take dr. pepper bottle
>>put in three shots of vodka
>>fill the rest up with dr. pepper
>>nobody ever suspects a thing
>3 girls fight over me
>go back home play street fighter
>fap
>smoking cigarette outside
>latino ice cream vendor tries to bum one
>both agree to trade popsicle for cigarette
>diarrhea
>Rollin' in my new black Audi R8
>Leaning with one arm out the open window.
>Pull up by my old high school. With crazy bass pumping out of my sound system.
>All kinds of fa**ot HSers look at me.
>Glance at them.
>Condescending smile.
>Roll up automatic window.
>Drive off.
TBH, I prepared that, but when I did it, it was more epic than I expected.
>get drunk night before Spanish final
>don't study at all
>play Pokemon up until the moment the test is passed out
>point out two errors on test to professor
>finish test earlier than anyone else
>highest grade in the class
F**k yeah.
>Grope dudes GF
>she likes it
>dude comes up starts interrogating me
>i drop the "u mad lol?"
>HE MAD
>attempts to punch me in face
>dodge
>hits my shoulder bone
>he even more mad.
>Take 600 mg dxm and 600 mg dph.
>Go to class, eyes turn f**king red and dilated like sh*t
>two of the same professorprofessors
>one tells me to go home and rest, the other just keeps writing on the board
>Go home
>turns out it wasnt the professor but my pencil case
>nobody noticed me stumble out
>f**k year
>run down flight of staris at train station
>2 steps at a time
>stumble and trip
>land on my hands and do a front flip and land perfectly
>light victory cig
>f**k yeah!
>Do a business degree
>Pick up Economics minor
>Take real analysis, multivariate calc and intro math without having in senior year HS
>Score all A's
>Do Econ masters
>Apply to top 10 school for Ph.D
>Get accepted
>Offered 23k fellowship per year with RA in the summer
>Be in 1st year and already have a co-authored paper published in field journal
BOO YA FA**OTS
>Walking in park with bottle of vodka around midnight, singing some bullsh*t to myself.
>Cop comes up, starts doing what cops do.
>Asks me If I'm known to the police
>I am, I say I'm not, I give a fake name, he asks my age, I was 16, so I give a fake date of birth and say I don't have any ID on me.
>Cop f**ks off, I keep singing.
Cant green text but:
>Walking out of school past track
>Dozen dudes running track practice
>Call them f**s
>Out run track team
>go home
>Get called by track coach
>Deny request to join track team on account of them being f**s
>Saturday schools for three months
>F**king worth it
>F**k yeah
>reading through this thread
>realise i'm not like the majority of retards posting
>f**k yea
>Do a business degree
>Pick up Economics minor
>Take real analysis, multivariate calc and intro math without having in senior year HS
>Score all A's
>Do Econ masters
>Apply to top 10 school for Ph.D
>Get accepted
>Offered 23k fellowship per year with RA in the summer
>Be in 1st year and already have a co-authored paper published in field journal
BOO YA FA**OTS
>not spending 10 years in academia
>f**k yea
>tech class in high school
>2 years consist of me stealing components and recreating the drums to Closer by Nine Inch Nails with the air valves
>Still pass with the highest possible grade
>F**k yeah
>Teacher continually asks for me to pay attention
>Asks if I won't take notes
>Don't study.
>Get highest grades of class
>Teacher shuts the f**k up
F**k yea
>Wake up
>Go to student lounge and watch football
>Pour vodka into a water bottle
>Girl comments about how you're being healthy and she could do with some water
>Go for a piss and leave bottle there
>Come back and she says "Don't mind if I have a drink do I?"
>Awkwardly try to grab the bottle as she dodges you and takes a long hard swig of 40% vodka
>Girl vomits and spits vodka all over the place
>3 other guys and another cute girl look at her like wtf
>ITS VODKA she exclaims, VODKA AT 2PM?!
>Everyone looks at you
>Snatch bottle back and walk off
>3 in the morning
>Painting on top of an abandoned 5-story building
>Almost finishes the piece
>Plainclothed police officer catches me red-handed
>By now I'd expect a fine of 1,500 baht
>Officer gives me a 'warning'
>Walks off while I finish the piece
>Visit same spot the next day to take picture
>F**k yeah
>go on omegle in my boxers
>me being a chubby I dont expect much cause I was just to lazy to get clothes on
>hot college girl comes up looking bored
> we talk for an hour
f**k yeah
>Social tard
>Girl asks me why I'm so quiet all the time
>Look in her eyes, smile and say "I don't need words when I'm in bliss from getting lost in your eyes" <-sounds smoother in my language
> Make out session and awesome sex
>F**k yeah
>wake up in the morning
>Feel like P-diddy
> On Facebook
> Two girls I like start talking to me within a minute of each other
> F**K YEAH
> Both want help with homework
> Feels ok man
> Playing football
> Ball is cleared from a corner
> About 30 yards out bouncing towards me
> Strike it so f**king cleanly
> Flies into the top corner
> Strike Cantona pose raising my arms
> Team rush to celebrate with me
> feelsgoodman.jpg
I was about 16 at the time and it was a big match for the school and my parents were watching :3
>Drive by Tea Bagger rally
>Teabaggers scream obscenities, hold up little black dolls from nooses
>I'm black
>Pull over
>Herd of teabaggers disperse
>little black dolls from nooses
Yeah f**king right lol I wish that happened...but yeah, that never happened brosef.
Now the KKK might have done that.
Having lunch in the park with friends, holding the last bit of my sammich.
Someone throws an orange at my hand.
Suddenly I'm holding an orange.
>>F**K YEAH
>Brother is really upset by something that happened
>Feels really bad, in a terrible mood
>Send him link to Yakety Sax
>Brother smiles
>Eating lunch with a friend
>Waiting for someone to come buy some stuff
>Pick up cell phone and yell "Come on, call!"
>Phone rings
>F**k yeah
this one was a few years ago.
>Steal cheap vodka from drug store
>Drink half one night
>Save rest in water bottle
>Bring to high school
>Get buzzed in first period
>Stay buzzed until school ends
>Teachers never find out a thing
>F**K YEAR!
>Wake up and smoke weed
>Own a consulting firm
>Smoke weed all day
>Get paid
>driving home
>man cuts me off in his new Mustang
>I get as close to him as possible before slamming on the brakes
>he thinks im going to hit him so he swerves
>forces another car off the road
>he looks at me with rage as hes pulling over
>I stick middle finger out window smile
>"Thats what you get a**hole."
>continue driving like nothing happened
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