Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm Aspie and I have all the answers

>Buying beer from shop which is further away from normal place
>Nice checkout girl in there
>She smiles and comments on how she hasn't seen you in a while
>You explain to her that they sell the beer cheaper at another store
>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>You agree, but then go on to tell her that you buy beer five times a week and explain that the difference between the two shops is 2.50 per trip, which if you calculate over the course of a year makes me a saving of about $520.
>Her smile fades
>See you in a few months then
>Bye.




Wow that's quit awkward

get back there and f**k that girl

Bitches don't know about my savings.

good, she doesn't give a sh*t about you anyway.

Goddamn fail.
> customer service and a smile like me do you
> It is totally worth the extra too
> Her smile builds
> Coffee sometime?
> Love to

Goddamn fail.
> customer service and a smile like me do you
> It is totally worth the extra too
> Her smile builds
> Coffee sometime?
> Love to

obv she's trying to get repeat business for more job security. in other words, whoring herself for money.

Goddamn fail.
> customer service and a smile like me do you
> It is totally worth the extra too
> Her smile builds
> Coffee sometime?
> Love to

You'd tell a girl seeing her smile is worth $520 a year? Over the course of a lifetime that would cost me an extra 20 grand, ni**er please.

F**K YEAH, MATH THAT BITCH TO OBLIVION.

Sh*t nigga OP, I hope you're not being serious. You didn't say that, right?

>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>Every taken it up the arse from a sweaty drunk guy?

checkout girls are quite slutty most of the time. I can tell you because my job is to fix those POS (Cashier Machines).

Go there and buy a pack of gum.


obv she's trying to get repeat business for more job security. in other words, whoring herself for money.

>implying a cashier would give a sh*t if customers return

checkout girls are quite slutty most of the time. I can tell you because my job is to fix those POS (Cashier Machines).

Exactly how did you learn about them being slutty then?

I work as a cashier.
I'm a lot nicer to the people I'm attracted to.
You done f**ked up, OP.

When she found out you buy beer 5 times a week she decided you weren't worth it.


You'd tell a girl seeing her smile is worth $520 a year? Over the course of a lifetime that would cost me an extra 20 grand, ni**er please.

Telling her costs nothing.
Getting her pu**y for telling her is priceless.

Goddamn fail.
> customer service and a smile like me do you
> It is totally worth the extra too
> Her smile builds
> Coffee sometime?
> Love to

>implying this is how real life actually works

The question is, do you like her?
>nice
Doesn't really explain much.

get back there and f**k that girl

it's way too late

>Buying beer from shop which is further away from normal place
>Nice checkout girl in there
>She smiles and comments on how she hasn't seen you in a while
>You explain to her that they sell the beer cheaper at another store
>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>You agree, but then go on to tell her that you buy beer five times a week and explain that the difference between the two shops is 2.50 per trip, which if you calculate over the course of a year makes me a saving of about $520.
>Her smile fades
>See you in a few months then
>Bye.

You are my f**king hero, OP. Logic wins the day again.

>Buying beer from shop which is further away from normal place
>Nice checkout girl in there
>She smiles and comments on how she hasn't seen you in a while
>You explain to her that they sell the beer cheaper at another store
>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>You agree, but then go on to tell her that you buy beer five times a week and explain that the difference between the two shops is 2.50 per trip, which if you calculate over the course of a year makes me a saving of about $520.
>Her smile fades
>See you in a few months then
>Bye.

You could just buy it all at once, saves more time.

I work as a cashier.
I'm a lot nicer to the people I'm attracted to.
You done f**ked up, OP.

except you're a fat neckbeard.


You could just buy it all at once, saves more time.

How would I carry home 12 crates of beer?

>get ready to go to grocery store across street
>decide shirt makes me look fat, so throw a jacket over it even if it's a little hot
>end up in cute cashier's line
>cashier says, "cold out today?"
>make nervous laugh and say "err yap"
>grab receipt and go home


except you're a fat neckbeard.

>butthurt because a ni**er was hired over him to Wal-Mart and a paki McDonald's


Exactly how did you learn about them being slutty then?

I have been hitted many times while i'm fixing their machines*. I have a girlfriend so it's kinda annoying. Also they make really obvious comments.
*I'm a bit introvert so it's awkward times when a girl ask me to have a coffe with her.

>>you buy beer five times a week
WHY??????????????
just buy enough for the whole week f**k face

You should've said something to likes of "If you'll come to dinner with me tonight you can convince me it's worth coming here"
worst case scenario, she says no and you keep getting cheap beer
best case scenario, you get a date, and you still get cheap beer because there is no reason to go to that store since you can now see her outside of that store

>get ready to go to grocery store across street
>decide shirt makes me look fat, so throw a jacket over it even if it's a little hot
>end up in cute cashier's line
>cashier says, "cold out today?"
>make nervous laugh and say "err yap"
>grab receipt and go home

>It's boiling outside
>Get ready to go to shop
>Put hoodie on because you look fat otherwise
>Massive Quee and you get paranoid with all the food you have in your basket
>Cute girl at checkout
>Waiting in line for 10 minutes
>By the time you get to be served you're drenched with sweat
>Girl sniffs as if hinting that you smell of B.O and looks at you with disgust

>visit liquor store
>flirt with the same black lady every time
>no longer need to get carded, I'm a regular
>my god, what sort of drunk is a regular at a liquor store after a half of a year


>implying this is how real life actually works

This is how life works... if you're not an Aspie.


This is how life works... if you're not an Aspie.

You watch too many movies, brother.


except you're a fat neckbeard.

Yes, there are no girls on the internet.

>go to store with father
>he manages to have great conversations with all the female cashiers and makes them smile
>admire my father

>visit liquor store
>flirt with the same black lady every time
>no longer need to get carded, I'm a regular
>my god, what sort of drunk is a regular at a liquor store after a half of a year

If you've been shopping at a liquor store for more than 3 months with the same cashier and they still card you...I don't even.
I was best friends with the fat guy at the local one after a month. F**ker is awesome.

>visit liquor store
>flirt with the same black lady every time
>no longer need to get carded, I'm a regular
>my god, what sort of drunk is a regular at a liquor store after a half of a year

What, I remember I.D'd customers after the first or at least the second time. I just ask for I.D for the f**k of it.

You are one suave motherf**ker OP. Good one.


If you've been shopping at a liquor store for more than 3 months with the same cashier and they still card you...I don't even.
I was best friends with the fat guy at the local one after a month. F**ker is awesome.

This. I actually get special discounts on alcohol because they know I have no will power. Even if I don't go in for alcohol they offer me new discounts.
Once I was in there at 7am and the guy convinced me into buying a bottle of vodka, I only went in for some eggs...
It's open 24/7. Feels bad man.


You watch too many movies, brother.

>You watch too many movies, brother.
So, you can't get a freakin' CASHIER...a cashier who's FLIRTING WITH YOU-- to go out for coffee with you? Son, you are epic in your failness.


What, I remember I.D'd customers after the first or at least the second time. I just ask for I.D for the f**k of it.


If you've been shopping at a liquor store for more than 3 months with the same cashier and they still card you...I don't even.
I was best friends with the fat guy at the local one after a month. F**ker is awesome.

this store is right next to a university, you have to sign a contract with a witness every time you buy booze there, I sh*t you not. For her not to card me is taking a huge legal risk on her part.


You watch too many movies, brother.

I'll bet you're like one of my friends.
A girl could be on her knees in front of him, unzipping his pants, and he'd be like, "I'd better not talk to her; I don't think she's into me and I don't wanna look creepy."


>It's boiling outside
>Get ready to go to shop
>Put hoodie on because you look fat otherwise
>Massive Quee and you get paranoid with all the food you have in your basket
>Cute girl at checkout
>Waiting in line for 10 minutes
>By the time you get to be served you're drenched with sweat
>Girl sniffs as if hinting that you smell of B.O and looks at you with disgust

Ever hear of deodorant and body spray, fatty?



this store is right next to a university, you have to sign a contract with a witness every time you buy booze there, I sh*t you not. For her not to card me is taking a huge legal risk on her part.

>sign a contract with a witness
Yo dawg, what the f**k am I reading, man?


Ever hear of deodorant and body spray, fatty?

Didn't think I'd start sweating so profusely, didn't think the line would be so big .__.



this store is right next to a university, you have to sign a contract with a witness every time you buy booze there, I sh*t you not. For her not to card me is taking a huge legal risk on her part.

...
Pennsylvania?
onsox


>You watch too many movies, brother.
So, you can't get a freakin' CASHIER...a cashier who's FLIRTING WITH YOU-- to go out for coffee with you? Son, you are epic in your failness.

Dude, this is anonymous. Only a small percentage of this board isn't a misogynistic aspie. Reasoning with these people will get you nowhere.


>sign a contract with a witness
Yo dawg, what the f**k am I reading, man?

Yep, usually the cashier just signs it but you have to have it.


...
Pennsylvania?
onsox


and yes, f**king failure PA. I hate this state and the city of Philadelphia/


This. I actually get special discounts on alcohol because they know I have no will power. Even if I don't go in for alcohol they offer me new discounts.
Once I was in there at 7am and the guy convinced me into buying a bottle of vodka, I only went in for some eggs...
It's open 24/7. Feels bad man.

Commit a series of crimes, and then blame it on the stores influence over your life.
Alternatively, they're out to get you, and are slowly programming you into a government agent.


Didn't think I'd start sweating so profusely, didn't think the line would be so big .__.

Umm... deodorant is something you should be wearing at all times, whether its hot or cold or whether you're going out for 5 hours or 5 minutes. It should be something you do routinely in the morning, like brushing your teeth. You may not think you smell, but you do. It's like those people that go for 2 weeks without showering but insist that they don't smell bad.

Spoiler: Keep going back even though she knows you know it costs $520.
SO ROMANTIC


You watch too many movies, brother.

so how would a man wh**re such as yourself find ladies?



this store is right next to a university, you have to sign a contract with a witness every time you buy booze there, I sh*t you not. For her not to card me is taking a huge legal risk on her part.

>you have to sign a contract with a witness every time you buy booze there
what the f**k

>Buying beer from shop which is further away from normal place
>Nice checkout girl in there
>She smiles and comments on how she hasn't seen you in a while
>You explain to her that they sell the beer cheaper at another store
>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>You agree, but then go on to tell her that you buy beer five times a week and explain that the difference between the two shops is 2.50 per trip, which if you calculate over the course of a year makes me a saving of about $520.
>Her smile fades
>See you in a few months then
>Bye.

>buy so much beer that the difference in price makes a difference of $520
How about stop drinking so much goddamn beer?


Dude, this is anonymous. Only a small percentage of this board isn't a misogynistic aspie. Reasoning with these people will get you nowhere.

I believe that you speak the truth, anonbot. I bought a ticket to the circus, and now I'm complaining that I'm surrounded by freaks.
Thanks for the reality check.


Yep, usually the cashier just signs it but you have to have it.


and yes, f**king failure PA. I hate this state and the city of Philadelphia/


...
Pennsylvania?
onsox

Canadian here. When I was 20 years old I was in King of Prussia, PA and bought liquor with my nonsense fake ID that I still had from when I was younger (drinking age in Canada is 18-19) and they were f**king strict as hell with it at the liquor store in PA. They had a scanning machine and everything.
They still sold it to me... but yeah, it was pretty f**king strict.
How can you guys learn how to handle alcohol or drink in a bar properly when you have to basically drink in the woods or a basement until you're 21?


>You watch too many movies, brother.
So, you can't get a freakin' CASHIER...a cashier who's FLIRTING WITH YOU-- to go out for coffee with you? Son, you are epic in your failness.

I hate to break it, but most of them aren't really "flirting" with you. They're just doing a job. Any attempt to make a move will result in hilarious stories in the back room. The rest are sluts.



Canadian here. When I was 20 years old I was in King of Prussia, PA and bought liquor with my nonsense fake ID that I still had from when I was younger (drinking age in Canada is 18-19) and they were f**king strict as hell with it at the liquor store in PA. They had a scanning machine and everything.
They still sold it to me... but yeah, it was pretty f**king strict.
How can you guys learn how to handle alcohol or drink in a bar properly when you have to basically drink in the woods or a basement until you're 21?

>How can you guys learn how to handle alcohol or drink in a bar properly when you have to basically drink in the woods or a basement until you're 21?
Ability to handle alcohol is more affected by common sense and self-control than is is by experience.



Canadian here. When I was 20 years old I was in King of Prussia, PA and bought liquor with my nonsense fake ID that I still had from when I was younger (drinking age in Canada is 18-19) and they were f**king strict as hell with it at the liquor store in PA. They had a scanning machine and everything.
They still sold it to me... but yeah, it was pretty f**king strict.
How can you guys learn how to handle alcohol or drink in a bar properly when you have to basically drink in the woods or a basement until you're 21?

Hah. I live on King of Prussia Road. You drink at school on the weekends and destroy yourself. It is a time honored tradition.

Goddamn fail.
> customer service and a smile like me do you
> It is totally worth the extra too
> Her smile builds
> Coffee sometime?
> Love to

You see, that may work out PERFECTLY in your f**king head, but in reality, it's most likely not going to end up that way.
You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.


You see, that may work out PERFECTLY in your f**king head, but in reality, it's most likely not going to end up that way.
You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.

Maybe you care too much. What's the worst thing that could happen? a girl saying "no"? c'mon.


I hate to break it, but most of them aren't really "flirting" with you. They're just doing a job. Any attempt to make a move will result in hilarious stories in the back room. The rest are sluts.

>I hate to break it, but most of them aren't really "flirting" with you. They're just doing a job.
When I was younger, I asked out two video store clerks (I know. "LOL video store"). One turned me down, and one said yes. I think I did better than a .500 batting average, because the one who said yes was much cuter.


You see, that may work out PERFECTLY in your f**king head, but in reality, it's most likely not going to end up that way.
You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.

So you're can assuming you will get rejected and never take the chance, very pessimistic thinking.

>How can you guys learn how to handle alcohol or drink in a bar properly when you have to basically drink in the woods or a basement until you're 21?
the only people that are really strict about enforcing the drinking age are cops/liquor stores/most bars
everyone drinks in college, most first start drinking sometime in high school.


You see, that may work out PERFECTLY in your f**king head, but in reality, it's most likely not going to end up that way.
You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.

>You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.
Nor can you assume that she doesn't.


Maybe you care too much. What's the worst thing that could happen? a girl saying "no"? c'mon.

>What's the worst thing that could happen? a girl saying "no"? c'mon.
No, the worst that can happen is a girl saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOoOOOOooOOooooo!!! Never! Begone, creeper!"

>buy a ton of meat
>girl says "that's a lot of pork!"
>"yep, gonna have steak whenever i want"
>girl giggles
>feel great
>went back next week
>girl doesnt work there anymore
motherf**ker


Hah. I live on King of Prussia Road. You drink at school on the weekends and destroy yourself. It is a time honored tradition.

do you hang out at the rhombus?


You see, that may work out PERFECTLY in your f**king head, but in reality, it's most likely not going to end up that way.
You can't assume a chick wants your c**k just because she's being a little flirty.

>OH NO A GIRL MIGHT REJECT MY ADVANCES SO I'D BETTER JUST STAY A VIRGIN FOR LIFE
Truly failsafe planning there, friend.

>buy a ton of meat
>girl says "that's a lot of pork!"
>"yep, gonna have steak whenever i want"
>girl giggles
>feel great
>went back next week
>girl doesnt work there anymore
motherf**ker

>guy comes in buying 20kg of meat
>fat neckbeard comments about how he's going to eat steak whenever he wants
>get freaked out
>he keeps staring at me
>see drool coming out from the side of his mouth
>tell manager I'm being creeped out by a psycho
>get transferred to another store

>Buying beer from shop which is further away from normal place
>Nice checkout girl in there
>She smiles and comments on how she hasn't seen you in a while
>You explain to her that they sell the beer cheaper at another store
>She makes a sad face then tells you but you don't get customer service and a smile like me do you
>You agree, but then go on to tell her that you buy beer five times a week and explain that the difference between the two shops is 2.50 per trip, which if you calculate over the course of a year makes me a saving of about $520.
>Her smile fades
>See you in a few months then
>Bye.

op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)


>guy comes in buying 20kg of meat
>fat neckbeard comments about how he's going to eat steak whenever he wants
>get freaked out
>he keeps staring at me
>see drool coming out from the side of his mouth
>tell manager I'm being creeped out by a psycho
>get transferred to another store

>implying grocery store transfers happen in under 7 days


op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)

No, holy sh*t this is the bad way to do it.
Just go back for more beer. Tell her you changed your mind about it being worth it (or something similar).


op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)

>go back to store
>see cashier
>"I would totally breed my pokemon with you"
>???
>profit


op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)

wow that is really bad


No, holy sh*t this is the bad way to do it.
Just go back for more beer. Tell her you changed your mind about it being worth it (or something similar).

Do this. Makes you seem more cool about the situation rather than rushing back to be cheesy as f**k.


No, holy sh*t this is the bad way to do it.
Just go back for more beer. Tell her you changed your mind about it being worth it (or something similar).

is much better than

op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)
. That one reeks of a lack of real-world experience.


is much better than . That one reeks of a lack of real-world experience.

dude, we are on anonymous


No, holy sh*t this is the bad way to do it.
Just go back for more beer. Tell her you changed your mind about it being worth it (or something similar).


>go back to store
>see cashier
>"I would totally breed my pokemon with you"
>???
>profit


wow that is really bad


is much better than . That one reeks of a lack of real-world experience.

I hate you guys! I have better games that any of you! I get more punetang than all of you nerds combines!
Bite my sac!



I hate you guys! I have better games that any of you! I get more punetang than all of you nerds combines!
Bite my sac!

you havent postet

op do that
>>go back there
>>just go straight to her
>>look her deep in the eyes and say something similar as "well....it is totally worth 520 bucks"
she will instantly melt and you can ask her if she wants to go drink a coffee with you in her lunch break (even when she knows you are an alcoholic)
so f**k yusuf


you havent postet so f**k yusuf

Are you trying to steal my credit, nerd?

The skepticism I harbor whenever a cute female cashier is nice to me stems from working retail myself and growing to despise customers, as well as being accustomed to cute girls usually treating me like sh*t outside of any sort of vendor/buyer scenario.
Does this hold true for anyone else at all?

The skepticism I harbor whenever a cute female cashier is nice to me stems from working retail myself and growing to despise customers, as well as being accustomed to cute girls usually treating me like sh*t outside of any sort of vendor/buyer scenario.
Does this hold true for anyone else at all?

Working retail would turn anyone against people.

lol i lol

I was at a supermarket and there was this girl serving who I could instantly tell was this annoying chatty forced small talk c**t, she was yammering on at the person infront of me, so when she started scanning my sh*t, I just ignored her, she got two one word answers out of me and I could tell she didn't like it.
I'm not an aspie but f**k some people are annoying.

I was at a supermarket and there was this girl serving who I could instantly tell was this annoying chatty forced small talk c**t, she was yammering on at the person infront of me, so when she started scanning my sh*t, I just ignored her, she got two one word answers out of me and I could tell she didn't like it.
I'm not an aspie but f**k some people are annoying.

If you treat women like sh*t, don't be surprised if you die a virgin.

I was at a supermarket and there was this girl serving who I could instantly tell was this annoying chatty forced small talk c**t, she was yammering on at the person infront of me, so when she started scanning my sh*t, I just ignored her, she got two one word answers out of me and I could tell she didn't like it.
I'm not an aspie but f**k some people are annoying.

>I'm not an aspie but f**k some people are annoying.
>I'm an annoying aspie f**k.
Fixed that for you, dude, you are welcome.

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