>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
We get to the park, well to part of the park. The gardens and walk around a bit. I was actually pretty comfortable being with her their. I think it was because I didn't have to worry if she wanted me to touch her or not. While we were walking I wanted to hold her hand but she had the map of the place in her hand. When she would hold it with the other hand I would start to muster up the courage to hold her hand but then we would get to a plant or pond or something that would mess things up. So I never did hold her hand. After we walked around a bit we went back to my car to drive to the other part of the park (you couldn't walk since it was sectioned off). Neither of us had been there before and so didn't know where we were going but we eventually found some swings and just sat on those for a while. After that we went to quiznos to eat. When we finished eating we still had an hour before I had to leave since I had a class and we we still wanted to hang out so we walked around the other stores and went into a music store. I found it really awkward to just be handing out there but we did she did get a book about teaching yourself to play play the guitar. Then we left and I took her home and no I didn't kiss her or hug her then either.
I'm starting to wonder if I just don't have the social skill needed to get a girlfriend.
probably an hero
Lol you can't go through a hug. Hugs are so easy mate. I really feel sorry for you. Can't believe you ask about the hug on aim lmao.
Next time you see her, say " I missed you baby let me give you a big hug" and bam that's a hug motherf**ker. Wish you the best you are uber inexperienced
I f**kin loled, really man? A f**kin hug? I hug tons of chicks, its not even a big deal. Thats how we say hi. your dating her and you asked her over aim... lolololol xDDDDDD
don't worry. your first girlfriends are there for you to be a complete idiot so you can get your stupid out of the way.
God damn it man. She f**king GAVE YOU PERMISSION to kiss her.
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
Wow, dude. Just an hero, now.
what pitiful excuses.
seriously, she has a map in her hand so you can't hold her hand?
dude, you grab that motherf**king hand right from that bastard map and continue strolling along like nothing happened.
girls eat that sh*t up dude - it's the confidence.
and if she has the audacity to ask why you grabbed her hand, you say, "Well you're just too irresistible, map be damned."
B&N, bro, just kiss her. She likes you, it won't be weird, don't make out, just kiss her, be spontaneous.
lol dude, you broke dating rule 101... never ask for permission to do anything...
That is the biggest rule that you can break on a date with a girl... and she didn't drop you and run, she didn't coldly lose interest... instead she said yes.
After putting up with everything and being a real sweetheart and flat out telling you that you could go for it without her hating you... you still chickened out.
The difference between a hero and a bystander is that the hero steps up to the plate. If you want to be the hero, all you have to do is lean in and place your mouth on hers... all you have to do is wrap your arms around her the first time you see her.
Your first hug is nerve wracking, the second an accomplishment, until they're eventually automatic.
The same with your first kiss.
Just do it bro, for better or for worse, thought about an action is the death of an action, don't let your head stop you from doing what your heart wants to do.
It doesn't matter when or how, only that you do.
We get to the park, well to part of the park. The gardens and walk around a bit. I was actually pretty comfortable being with her their. I think it was because I didn't have to worry if she wanted me to touch her or not. While we were walking I wanted to hold her hand but she had the map of the place in her hand. When she would hold it with the other hand I would start to muster up the courage to hold her hand but then we would get to a plant or pond or something that would mess things up. So I never did hold her hand. After we walked around a bit we went back to my car to drive to the other part of the park (you couldn't walk since it was sectioned off). Neither of us had been there before and so didn't know where we were going but we eventually found some swings and just sat on those for a while. After that we went to quiznos to eat. When we finished eating we still had an hour before I had to leave since I had a class and we we still wanted to hang out so we walked around the other stores and went into a music store. I found it really awkward to just be handing out there but we did she did get a book about teaching yourself to play play the guitar. Then we left and I took her home and no I didn't kiss her or hug her then either.
I'm starting to wonder if I just don't have the social skill needed to get a girlfriend.
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
You are one pathetic sack of sh*t. You make me laugh.
Barnes, hey barnie!
over here!
LOOK HERE GOD DAMN IT
GO TO /fit/ AND READ THE STICKY
LOSE FAT, GAIN CONFIDENCE WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY LACK, THEN F**K WOMEN IN THE ASS.
Today I hugged my gf and was going to kiss her but she never looked up at me
Feels bad man
BARNES did you do the popcorn?!
Haha, and I'm glad you're on your 5th date!
Just do it, just suck it up don't think and go for it. You won't regret it at all.
Trust me.. as a girl, if I told a guy that I wanted him to kiss me and he didn't even hug me, I would feel embarrassed for saying that. I would feel like you didn't actually like me or something.
So do it! I have faith in you!
Dude it's over, move on to another girl.
You're already a huge pu**y in her eyes, so you might as well ask her if she "wants to lead".
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
Now I'm convinced you're a troll.. You had me fooled at first
Dude it's over, move on to another girl.
due your fa**otry.
/thread
Mostly you will not be sure of what you are saying so your tone of voice will be off and it won't sound natural.
Force yourself to sound confident, even if you think you are forcing your voice too loud and are sounding like a pretentious fa**ot, you will sound alright, actually normal.
It's when you think you sound normal that you actually sound awkward.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
I read up to your hilarious message to her, realised you were 14, and decided to sage this thread and smoke another bowl.
I read up to your hilarious message to her, realised you were 14, and decided to sage this thread and smoke another bowl.
You obviously haven't been around for more than 2 days.
Barnes & noble is a huge, 20-something, awkward as f**k fellow.
you have been on 5 dates with her.
and discussed your awkwardness with her.
she is still going on dates with you.
either she likes you and understands- mabey the perfect woman- or plans on killing you.
think about it OP.
You obviously haven't been around for more than 2 days.
Barnes & noble is a huge, 20-something, awkward as f**k fellow.
I thought he was 35...
you a probably drop DEAD gorgeous OP. There is no f**king way that sh*t would fly with me. F**K "can I hug you nao plzzzz? :3"
Go f**k yourself man.
you a probably drop DEAD gorgeous OP. There is no f**king way that sh*t would fly with me. F**K "can I hug you nao plzzzz? :3"
Go f**k yourself man.
He is actually a morbidly obese and bearded motherf**ker.
Dont think, just f**king do it.
NO THINKING.
DO IT.
He is actually a morbidly obese and bearded motherf**ker.
the beard is pretty cool though.
Goddamn Barnes after reading that I'm sure she wouldn't mind having a planet of the apes marathon with you :3
you a probably drop DEAD gorgeous OP. There is no f**king way that sh*t would fly with me. F**K "can I hug you nao plzzzz? :3"
Go f**k yourself man.
you my friend are a bitch
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
You should kiss her penis OP.
Lol you can't go through a hug. Hugs are so easy mate. I really feel sorry for you. Can't believe you ask about the hug on aim lmao.
Next time you see her, say " I missed you baby let me give you a big hug" and bam that's a hug motherf**ker. Wish you the best you are uber inexperienced
They may be easy to give once you get used to giving them but when you never have it is nerve racking.
don't worry. your first girlfriends are there for you to be a complete idiot so you can get your stupid out of the way.
That is good to know
what pitiful excuses.
seriously, she has a map in her hand so you can't hold her hand?
dude, you grab that motherf**king hand right from that bastard map and continue strolling along like nothing happened.
girls eat that sh*t up dude - it's the confidence.
and if she has the audacity to ask why you grabbed her hand, you say, "Well you're just too irresistible, map be damned."
I know they are bad reason for not doing anything but in order for me to be able to get past the first hump everything needs to be just so.
lol dude, you broke dating rule 101... never ask for permission to do anything...
That is the biggest rule that you can break on a date with a girl... and she didn't drop you and run, she didn't coldly lose interest... instead she said yes.
After putting up with everything and being a real sweetheart and flat out telling you that you could go for it without her hating you... you still chickened out.
The difference between a hero and a bystander is that the hero steps up to the plate. If you want to be the hero, all you have to do is lean in and place your mouth on hers... all you have to do is wrap your arms around her the first time you see her.
Your first hug is nerve wracking, the second an accomplishment, until they're eventually automatic.
The same with your first kiss.
Just do it bro, for better or for worse, thought about an action is the death of an action, don't let your head stop you from doing what your heart wants to do.
It doesn't matter when or how, only that you do.
I have tried not to think about it but then I concentrate on not thinking about it and end up thinking about it even more
Barnes, hey barnie!
over here!
LOOK HERE GOD DAMN IT
GO TO /fit/ AND READ THE STICKY
LOSE FAT, GAIN CONFIDENCE WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY LACK, THEN F**K WOMEN IN THE ASS.
I have been to /fit before. I read through the liamrosen article and for the last 8 months or so I have been going to the gym sporadically. I have lost about 35 lbs so far but I still have a ways to go to be /fit/ and confident.
BARNES did you do the popcorn?!
Haha, and I'm glad you're on your 5th date!
Just do it, just suck it up don't think and go for it. You won't regret it at all.
Trust me.. as a girl, if I told a guy that I wanted him to kiss me and he didn't even hug me, I would feel embarrassed for saying that. I would feel like you didn't actually like me or something.
So do it! I have faith in you!
Sh*t. I don't want her to feel that way. Should I tell her on AIM that I like her or should I just wait until our next date which probably wont be until next wednesday?
Dude it's over, move on to another girl.
She is the only girl that has wanted to actually wanted to continue seeing me after the first date.
you have been on 5 dates with her.
and discussed your awkwardness with her.
she is still going on dates with you.
either she likes you and understands- mabey the perfect woman- or plans on killing you.
think about it OP.
I guess so.
He is actually a morbidly obese and bearded motherf**ker.
I'm not morbidly obese, just a fat f**ker.
the beard is pretty cool though.
Goddamn Barnes after reading that I'm sure she wouldn't mind having a planet of the apes marathon with you :3
Really? Because that would be pretty comfortable date and I would definitely be able to get myself to hold her.
I thought he was 35...
Oh and I'll be 24 by the end of the month.
Barnes and Noble, the only reason I ever hesitate to ask out a girl or make a move on a girl is because I'm afraid of rejection. But SHE GAVE YOU PERMISSION. SHE WILL NOT REJECT YOU.
They may be easy to give once you get used to giving them but when you never have it is nerve racking.
That is good to know
I know they are bad reason for not doing anything but in order for me to be able to get past the first hump everything needs to be just so.
I have tried not to think about it but then I concentrate on not thinking about it and end up thinking about it even more
I have been to /fit before. I read through the liamrosen article and for the last 8 months or so I have been going to the gym sporadically. I have lost about 35 lbs so far but I still have a ways to go to be /fit/ and confident.
Sh*t. I don't want her to feel that way. Should I tell her on AIM that I like her or should I just wait until our next date which probably wont be until next wednesday?
She is the only girl that has wanted to actually wanted to continue seeing me after the first date.
I guess so.
I'm not morbidly obese, just a fat f**ker.
Really? Because that would be pretty comfortable date and I would definitely be able to get myself to hold her.
>I have been going to the gym sporadically
>sporadically
THAT is where you fail
Oh, and Barnes. STOP ASKING HER QUESTIONS LIKE THAT ON AIM. I think every time you make a thread, countless anons tell you not to ask her questions like that, but you do it anyways. Its awkward as f**k for her, and I'm sure you feel like an idiot afterward too. Stop asking questions, you know what she wants.
Barnes, i have to say: i was like you once. but, if you really, truly believe that she's worth it, you'll sacrifice your inhibitions and just dive in.
it's up to you to decide, but i'm telling you mang: fortune favors the bold.
You gotta make a move at the end of the date. When she's ready to go, give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek at minimum. She'll be going home anyway so you won't have to endure any awkwardness for the rest of the night. This will get you more confident for the next time when you can do it right.
Look, here is how you do it.
Next time you go to pick her up, wait at the door.
When she opens the door just give her a hug and say you're glad to see her.
Total bally style. It wont fail you.
Seriously, just do it. Don't think about it.
Don't give a sh*t about what she thinks or whether it was good or anything.
You cannot become good at something without practice so just give her a f**king hug.
She has given you permission, so take adviceantage of it.
No, don't tell her over aim.
Just seriously.. make a move. If a girl tells you she wants you to kiss her, you should really do it. Or at least hug her. Trust me, that is like the biggest invitation ever. I really think you should do it.
it takes just as much courage for a girl to tell a guy she wants him to kiss her. Now imagine how much it probably sucks for her that you aren't even close to doing that.
You're going to do it, it's going to be awesome, and you're going to look back on feeling like you can't do it and laugh. You've got this!
>I have been going to the gym sporadically
>sporadically
THAT is where you fail
Yeah I know I need to go regularly.
You gotta make a move at the end of the date. When she's ready to go, give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek at minimum. She'll be going home anyway so you won't have to endure any awkwardness for the rest of the night. This will get you more confident for the next time when you can do it right.
I drive her home and it would be really awkward to try and hug her while still in the car but kissing her, when we have gotten to that point, wont be so bad. I just want to start with a hug. I thought about getting out of the car and walking to her door but and hugging her then but I've haven't managed to do that yet.
Look, here is how you do it.
Next time you go to pick her up, wait at the door.
When she opens the door just give her a hug and say you're glad to see her.
Total bally style. It wont fail you.
Seriously, just do it. Don't think about it.
Don't give a sh*t about what she thinks or whether it was good or anything.
You cannot become good at something without practice so just give her a f**king hug.
She has given you permission, so take adviceantage of it.
That Was my Plan for today, I said that in the first post, she wasn't ready when I got there and I didn't wait their on the porch for her like I should have done. But for the next date I will do that.
No, don't tell her over aim.
Just seriously.. make a move. If a girl tells you she wants you to kiss her, you should really do it. Or at least hug her. Trust me, that is like the biggest invitation ever. I really think you should do it.
it takes just as much courage for a girl to tell a guy she wants him to kiss her. Now imagine how much it probably sucks for her that you aren't even close to doing that.
You're going to do it, it's going to be awesome, and you're going to look back on feeling like you can't do it and laugh. You've got this!
Okay. I won't tell her over AIM. I'll wait until our next date which will probably be on wednesday watching the meteor shower.
seriously are you a troll or not brah?
seriously are you a troll or not brah?
I am not a troll. All the events that I describe in my threads have actually happened.
I feel bad for the OP, and then I realized that I was probably older than him, and even more inexperienced. So, I am not sure what to feel now.
Hugs are pretty commonplace.... Sh*t, I hugged pretty much stangers sometimes because they were told I give good hugs. I don't feel anything particularly "special" about them.
Except one instance... when I had a friend of mine see me after a year or so, run, and jump into my chest. That was probably the best feeling I've ever had. That genuine happiness to see me.
Sigh.... and it may never happen again.
I feel bad for the OP, and then I realized that I was probably older than him, and even more inexperienced. So, I am not sure what to feel now.
How old are you?
see this post for my age
Oh and I'll be 24 by the end of the month.
dfg
Yeah I know I need to go regularly.
I drive her home and it would be really awkward to try and hug her while still in the car but kissing her, when we have gotten to that point, wont be so bad. I just want to start with a hug. I thought about getting out of the car and walking to her door but and hugging her then but I've haven't managed to do that yet.
That Was my Plan for today, I said that in the first post, she wasn't ready when I got there and I didn't wait their on the porch for her like I should have done. But for the next date I will do that.
Okay. I won't tell her over AIM. I'll wait until our next date which will probably be on wednesday watching the meteor shower.
>Yeah I know I need to go regularly.
Hey barnie. Hey, hey, barnes. Barnes. Look at this barnes.
Most of anonymous's problems with relationships has nothing to do with social awkwardness or lack of skills, but EVERYTHING to do with SELF DOUBT.
You have her permission, you have gone through the initial phase where she needs to feel comfortable with you, yet you still are plagued by it. Your reasons, like all of yours, are your own.
Myself, I was scared to take a chance for fear of rejection. My fear of rejection was so immense that, in a situation like yours, I too would freeze up. You have to confront your fears, head on. You are letting your self doubt kill your dreams, and for what? So you can stay in your comfortable cocoon? The idea that we have nothing to fear, but fear itself, has very real applications on our real world.
I don't know what is still stopping you from achieving your goals, if it is some pit in your stomach, a little voice in your head saying you aren't good enough, or what it is. You eventually have to confront your fears in life, or you will always be a slave to them. They will keep you from leading the life you want to lead.
I know it isn't easy to just suddenly start believing in yourself, given a lifetime of a poor outlook on your self or life in general, but it has to start somewhere, and what better time than now. Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
/end cliche catch phrase
Don't plan physical contact or you will psych yourself out and get nervous. Just DO it. And if you've been on 5 dates with this girl and haven't even touched her, don't expect her to wait on you much longer.
Barnes, if you are still checking this thread, download the book "The Game". It will change your life.
PUT A PICTURE OF HER FACE SOMETHING.
HUG IT
????
PROFIT.
How old are you?
see this post for my age
sigh, since you asked me directly I suppose I must answer. I am currently three years older than you will be at the end of the month.
blcks
seconding the request for Barnes to read "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists"
BARNES!
I LOVE YOU!
YOU ARE KNEE-DEEP IN SH*T YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND POSSIBLY FEAR!
BUT YOU DON'T STOP!
YOU KEEP GOING!
RELENTLESSLY!
STRIVE ON!
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
KISS HER! HUG HER! SHE WANTS YOU! GO NOW GO!
Aw, Barnes, it sounds like even if you hug her or something and it's kinda awkward she'd still think it's cute. Go for it!
blcks
seconding the request for Barnes to read "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists"
Well f**k, I see this pop up everytime and disregard it always, I will have to download it right now or it will haunt me forever.
give op a break, at least hes outside his house
Don't plan physical contact or you will psych yourself out and get nervous. Just DO it. And if you've been on 5 dates with this girl and haven't even touched her, don't expect her to wait on you much longer.
But I'm not a spontaneous person. I plan out everything to some extent.
Most of anonymous's problems with relationships has nothing to do with social awkwardness or lack of skills, but EVERYTHING to do with SELF DOUBT.>
You have her permission, you have gone through the initial phase where she needs to feel comfortable with you, yet you still are plagued by it. Your reasons, like all of yours, are your own.
Myself, I was scared to take a chance for fear of rejection. My fear of rejection was so immense that, in a situation like yours, I too would freeze up. You have to confront your fears, head on. You are letting your self doubt kill your dreams, and for what? So you can stay in your comfortable cocoon? The idea that we have nothing to fear, but fear itself, has very real applications on our real world.
I don't know what is still stopping you from achieving your goals, if it is some pit in your stomach, a little voice in your head saying you aren't good enough, or what it is. You eventually have to confront your fears in life, or you will always be a slave to them. They will keep you from leading the life you want to lead.
I know it isn't easy to just suddenly start believing in yourself, given a lifetime of a poor outlook on your self or life in general, but it has to start somewhere, and what better time than now. Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
/end cliche catch phrase
I have been gradually getting more comfortable with her. Today (at first at least) I was actually pretty comfortable being around her. So I still have some doubt in my head but it is slowly fading. Thanks for the rant.
Barnes, if you are still checking this thread, download the book "The Game". It will change your life.>
blcks>
seconding the request for Barnes to read "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists"
Isn't PUA stuff only to pick up girls in bars and stuff like that?
BARNES!>
I LOVE YOU!
YOU ARE KNEE-DEEP IN SH*T YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND POSSIBLY FEAR!
BUT YOU DON'T STOP!
YOU KEEP GOING!
RELENTLESSLY!
STRIVE ON!
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
KISS HER! HUG HER! SHE WANTS YOU! GO NOW GO!
BARNES!>
I LOVE YOU!
YOU ARE KNEE-DEEP IN SH*T YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND POSSIBLY FEAR!
BUT YOU DON'T STOP!
YOU KEEP GOING!
RELENTLESSLY!
STRIVE ON!
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
KISS HER! HUG HER! SHE WANTS YOU! GO NOW GO!
Thank you. That made me smile.
>Isn't PUA stuff only to pick up girls in bars and stuff like that?
yes. really it's geared towards one-night stands.
but the value of it is much more than that. it's the confidence that it will give you from being able to pick up girls easily. he will still have to work on keeping a relationship but it will be 100x easier if he gets an ounce of confidence first
>Isn't PUA stuff only to pick up girls in bars and stuff like that?
yes. really it's geared towards one-night stands.
but the value of it is much more than that. it's the confidence that it will give you from being able to pick up girls easily. he will still have to work on keeping a relationship but it will be 100x easier if he gets an ounce of confidence first
^ was me.
I referred to you, barnes, "as he". I didn't see I was replying directly to you :p
Well f**k, I see this pop up everytime and disregard it always, I will have to download it right now or it will haunt me forever.
You won't regret it. It's an excellent read. It's amazing how fast I read it, and I'm a slow reader. Although everything after "Project Hollywood" is sh*tty. Really, all the inspiration and usefulness is before that.
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing
Holyfacepalm.jpg
no the game is a novel about one man's quest to become not-gay. (can a lit f** say better what i'm trying to say?)
I find this incredibly adorable for some reason.
Anyways, to the hugging problem. Treat it like a child would treat it. Go to a secluded place, like your apartment or a garden with tall bushes or so where you feel safe and that no-one is watching and ask her "how bout that hug?". Start slow and begin from the bottom if you really are that nervous.
This is a true story btw, this is how i got my first hug from a girl back in elementery school.
Keep up the good work man!
also, have some inspirational music!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1XA77pzciU
anon, i'v only glimpsed at these threads while lurking this board, and please tell me, is this your first time dating a girl? You seriously are just so f**king awkward if what you're writing is true
no the game is a novel about one man's quest to become not-gay. (can a lit f** say better what i'm trying to say?)
sounds like you're confusing it with another book of the same name:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_%28book%29#Literature
You won't regret it. It's an excellent read. It's amazing how fast I read it, and I'm a slow reader. Although everything after "Project Hollywood" is sh*tty. Really, all the inspiration and usefulness is before that.
Noted. I'll start reading it right now.
I find this incredibly adorable for some reason.
Anyways, to the hugging problem. Treat it like a child would treat it. Go to a secluded place, like your apartment or a garden with tall bushes or so where you feel safe and that no-one is watching and ask her "how bout that hug?". Start slow and begin from the bottom if you really are that nervous.
This is a true story btw, this is how i got my first hug from a girl back in elementery school.
Keep up the good work man!
also, have some inspirational music!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1XA77pzciU
Yes that is how I want to do it. A place where no one else is around. That would make it so much easier. Her porch would be an okay place assuming her parents aren't around.
anon, i'v only glimpsed at these threads while lurking this board, and please tell me, is this your first time dating a girl? You seriously are just so f**king awkward if what you're writing is true
This is the first girl that I have been on more then one date with. Before her I had gone on a date with two other girls but they didn't want to see me again after the first date. And I'm not sure if the first one really counts as a date since I think the girl was looking more for a friend to hang out with. But I'm not really sure.
Barnes, did you not see my post? I feel wronged by your non-response.
dfg
>Yeah I know I need to go regularly.
Hey barnie. Hey, hey, barnes. Barnes. Look at this barnes.
Barnes, did you not see my post? I feel wronged by your non-response.
Sorry I didn't respond. I know I have no valid excuses for not going regularly. It's just my own insecurities that keep me from going but I'm working on it.
Well at least you're still hanging out with her. When I was awkward I'd just stop talking to a girl if sh*t that pathetic was going on.
Now I still just stop talking to girls randomly, but only because I know it hurts them. Not much better, maybe even worse.
Jesus... I would have f**ked this girl by the end of the fifth date, if it took even that long!
Man up! Do not think, do not plan. JUST F**KING DO IT.
probably an hero
agreed this is the best action to take given how pathetic you are
Oh, Mr Noble+Barnes, you are adorable and I love following your adviceentures with the ladies! It sounds to me like you should maybe try your hardest to stop thinking so much.
>Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
This, though.
You are stuck in your head, however, I applaud your efforts with the ladies!
Do you have any lady friends or close family members who you could try to practice physical affection on? Or even try hugging animals! Or pillows! Like, sweetly and platonically, of course
.
Reading this post made me realise that I should hug my lil bro more, as he hardly gets any physical contact with the peeps but he gives adorable awkward hugs. Remember, some/many girls adore the dorkiness and awkwardness of humanity! This girl is obviously one of them. Once I was seeing a boy who awkwardly took my hand in the cinema, and we didn't hold hands for very long, we were both totally overthinking it, but it was so sweet and lovely!
Oh, Mr Noble+Barnes, you are adorable and I love following your adviceentures with the ladies! It sounds to me like you should maybe try your hardest to stop thinking so much.
>Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
This, though.
You are stuck in your head, however, I applaud your efforts with the ladies!
Do you have any lady friends or close family members who you could try to practice physical affection on? Or even try hugging animals! Or pillows! Like, sweetly and platonically, of course
.
Reading this post made me realise that I should hug my lil bro more, as he hardly gets any physical contact with the peeps but he gives adorable awkward hugs. Remember, some/many girls adore the dorkiness and awkwardness of humanity! This girl is obviously one of them. Once I was seeing a boy who awkwardly took my hand in the cinema, and we didn't hold hands for very long, we were both totally overthinking it, but it was so sweet and lovely!
Oh, Mr Noble+Barnes, you are adorable and I love following your adviceentures with the ladies! It sounds to me like you should maybe try your hardest to stop thinking so much.
>Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
This, though.
You are stuck in your head, however, I applaud your efforts with the ladies!
Do you have any lady friends or close family members who you could try to practice physical affection on? Or even try hugging animals! Or pillows! Like, sweetly and platonically, of course
.
Reading this post made me realise that I should hug my lil bro more, as he hardly gets any physical contact with the peeps but he gives adorable awkward hugs. Remember, some/many girls adore the dorkiness and awkwardness of humanity! This girl is obviously one of them. Once I was seeing a boy who awkwardly took my hand in the cinema, and we didn't hold hands for very long, we were both totally overthinking it, but it was so sweet and lovely!
me again.
It sounds like your date went fine, not like you expected, but still fine! You CAN take things at your own pace, but don't beat yourself up about what happened. Maybe try to listen to your instincts, as well as mentally planning things. You could do little exercises where you go out into the world and smile at old people, etc.
Oh, I had this idea! This is a technique that has worked on me. Totally pretend to be all gentelmanly and british for a while, and say "May I hold your arm, mam?". Holding hands, if you're a tense overthinker is bound to be stiff, awkward and sweaty if it is your first point of contact(have had this experience many times. It's adorable, but also annoying cus it sets over further overthinking). Or, just go for it. The hug, the arm around waist/shoulder, just at a point yell(inside your brain) STOP! then it will be hammer time! You totally CAN touch this.
Also, you could try some positive affirmations, like, "I, barnes and noble kick arse! I am awesome and deserve to feel good enough about myself to help this girl feel good, too. I deserve cuddles". Maybe try visualising happily strolling along with ur honey on your arm? Cuddling on the couch and watching a movie? I dunno, it's all cheesy sh*t, but if you can manage to believe in it, it will be a hell of a lot more helpful than reading PUA theory, which is helpful, but a bit selfish. Take what you need from it, but don't become a selfish ratbastard. Also, I find that listening to hip hop music where the artist is singing about being the best and heaps tough and sh*t can be good for the old self doubt.
I typed a novel. It's all up to you, though, lil B&N. You can do it!
Sorry I didn't respond. I know I have no valid excuses for not going regularly. It's just my own insecurities that keep me from going but I'm working on it.
than go running and train at home with some home weights. there's lots of training programs that don't require you to goto the gym. you're also wasting money, which alot of people do -- you could use it to buy some weights and basic setup at home.
But I'm not a spontaneous person. I plan out everything to some extent.
>
I have been gradually getting more comfortable with her. Today (at first at least) I was actually pretty comfortable being around her. So I still have some doubt in my head but it is slowly fading. Thanks for the rant.
>
>
Isn't PUA stuff only to pick up girls in bars and stuff like that?
>
>
Thank you. That made me smile.
beggars can't be choosers, you take what you can get. just read the PUA stuff and see if any of the adviceice click, if it doesn't than move on. reading a book doesn't automatically make you a manwh**re.
It's taking him this long to even hug her. Imagine when it comes time to have sex. I can't wait for that part of the adviceenture.
You really can't lose by reading books by PUAs. Even if you use none of it, the fundamental ideas will help you develop more productive and reasonable thought patterns, and to also build confidence.
Give it a shot, you've got nothing to lose. 'Worst' case scenario: you get rejected a handful of times. In the process, you begin to realize it doesn't matter and begin to stop giving a damn about what some bimbo thinks of you.
C'mon Barnes, the girl told you herself she wants you to kiss her. SHE TOLD YOU VERY, VERY, BLATANTLY!
So go do it and stop thinking so damn much.
me again.
It sounds like your date went fine, not like you expected, but still fine! You CAN take things at your own pace, but don't beat yourself up about what happened. Maybe try to listen to your instincts, as well as mentally planning things. You could do little exercises where you go out into the world and smile at old people, etc.
Oh, I had this idea! This is a technique that has worked on me. Totally pretend to be all gentelmanly and british for a while, and say "May I hold your arm, mam?". Holding hands, if you're a tense overthinker is bound to be stiff, awkward and sweaty if it is your first point of contact(have had this experience many times. It's adorable, but also annoying cus it sets over further overthinking). Or, just go for it. The hug, the arm around waist/shoulder, just at a point yell(inside your brain) STOP! then it will be hammer time! You totally CAN touch this.
Also, you could try some positive affirmations, like, "I, barnes and noble kick arse! I am awesome and deserve to feel good enough about myself to help this girl feel good, too. I deserve cuddles". Maybe try visualising happily strolling along with ur honey on your arm? Cuddling on the couch and watching a movie? I dunno, it's all cheesy sh*t, but if you can manage to believe in it, it will be a hell of a lot more helpful than reading PUA theory, which is helpful, but a bit selfish. Take what you need from it, but don't become a selfish ratbastard. Also, I find that listening to hip hop music where the artist is singing about being the best and heaps tough and sh*t can be good for the old self doubt.
I typed a novel. It's all up to you, though, lil B&N. You can do it!
>it will be a hell of a lot more helpful than reading PUA theory, which is helpful, but a bit selfish.
you aren't taking into consideration his situation. his problem that he is TOO SELFLESS. that's the entire basis of poor self-esteem and low confidence.
the extremes that PUA teaches will be good for him. he is already at the other end of the spectrum. he needs an extreme push to get even close to functioning at a normal social level. no offense to barnes.
Oh, Mr Noble+Barnes, you are adorable and I love following your adviceentures with the ladies! It sounds to me like you should maybe try your hardest to stop thinking so much.
>Stop wasting your time and seize the day.
This, though.
You are stuck in your head, however, I applaud your efforts with the ladies!
Do you have any lady friends or close family members who you could try to practice physical affection on? Or even try hugging animals! Or pillows! Like, sweetly and platonically, of course
.
Reading this post made me realise that I should hug my lil bro more, as he hardly gets any physical contact with the peeps but he gives adorable awkward hugs. Remember, some/many girls adore the dorkiness and awkwardness of humanity! This girl is obviously one of them. Once I was seeing a boy who awkwardly took my hand in the cinema, and we didn't hold hands for very long, we were both totally overthinking it, but it was so sweet and lovely!
I don't have any female friend or male friend for that matter. Which is probably why I'm so bad at socializing but I do have one of those full length pillows that I cuddle with most nights. But I don't think that would help prepare me for hugging a real person though. And thanks for writing so much it was reassuring and I appreciate it.
than go running and train at home with some home weights. there's lots of training programs that don't require you to goto the gym. you're also wasting money, which alot of people do -- you could use it to buy some weights and basic setup at home.
beggars can't be choosers, you take what you can get. just read the PUA stuff and see if any of the adviceice click, if it doesn't than move on. reading a book doesn't automatically make you a manwh**re.
It's a university gym so I pay for it with tuition. And my brother has a bench and a bunch of weights that he does use anymore I was going to ask him if I could borrow it the next time I go home.
I don't have any female friend or male friend for that matter. Which is probably why I'm so bad at socializing but I do have one of those full length pillows that I cuddle with most nights. But I don't think that would help prepare me for hugging a real person though. And thanks for writing so much it was reassuring and I appreciate it.
It's a university gym so I pay for it with tuition. And my brother has a bench and a bunch of weights that he does use anymore I was going to ask him if I could borrow it the next time I go home.
>I don't have any female friend or male friend for that matter.
You are trying to run before you can even crawl. Your first step to getting a romantic relationship is to have male friends. Everyone needs a support group. You are a perfect example of what happens when you don't have one. After you get a few male friends who you can socialize with, without anxiety, then you get female friends. Once you can socialize with them without anxiety, THEN you move towards a romantic relationship.
Take this adviceice seriously. Don't keep buying into the Hollywood concept of love "for better, for worse". Maybe it can be developed into such a relationship but it NEVER starts "for worse". For 90% of everyone it's "for better to worse".
>I don't have any female friend or male friend for that matter.
You are trying to run before you can even crawl. Your first step to getting a romantic relationship is to have male friends. Everyone needs a support group. You are a perfect example of what happens when you don't have one. After you get a few male friends who you can socialize with, without anxiety, then you get female friends. Once you can socialize with them without anxiety, THEN you move towards a romantic relationship.
Take this adviceice seriously. Don't keep buying into the Hollywood concept of love "for better, for worse". Maybe it can be developed into such a relationship but it NEVER starts "for worse". For 90% of everyone it's "for better to worse".
I don't really want many friends. Just a girlfriend that is also my best friend that I can hang out with all the time and watch movies with, play video game with, go fishing with, etc. And possible one other friend male or female that I can also just hang out with and do the same stuff with. Relationships are complicated and time consuming so I would like to only have a few people that I am really close to but I don't make friends easily so that hasn't really happened yet.
OP is a troll, I know he's capable of cynicism
I don't really want many friends. Just a girlfriend that is also my best friend that I can hang out with all the time and watch movies with, play video game with, go fishing with, etc. And possible one other friend male or female that I can also just hang out with and do the same stuff with. Relationships are complicated and time consuming so I would like to only have a few people that I am really close to but I don't make friends easily so that hasn't really happened yet.
Regardless, you still need regular social interaction with a friend whom you are not romantically involved with in order to develop a romantic relationship. You have no real support group (or even an individual) which sounds like half the problem.
You are becoming defensive, needlessly. This is the way things work. Women are hard-wired to look for men who are socially respected and who have social status (just as men are hard-wired to look for appearance). You can't be emotionally attractive when you have literally no social status because you lack even the most basic regular socialization expected of a normal member of society.
I'm being serious when I say that the women that you are seeking do not exist.
No he's not.
KEPP ON FIGHTING WE LOVE YOU!
How did you meet this girl Barnes?
Throwing yourself into stressful situations without any support from others (the Internet isn't a support group) is going to be more counter-productive for you than anything. You have a long way to go to reach the point of having any long-term relationships.
I'm not going to lie, the road is long and hard. You can't get there without many rejections along the way. Without having even a single friend to be there to encourage you, you're going to crush your own spirit and end up more reclusive than before.
OP is a troll, I know he's capable of cynicism
I can be cynical at times.
Regardless, you still need regular social interaction with a friend whom you are not romantically involved with in order to develop a romantic relationship. You have no real support group (or even an individual) which sounds like half the problem.
You are becoming defensive, needlessly. This is the way things work. Women are hard-wired to look for men who are socially respected and who have social status (just as men are hard-wired to look for appearance). You can't be emotionally attractive when you have literally no social status because you lack even the most basic regular socialization expected of a normal member of society.
I'm being serious when I say that the women that you are seeking do not exist.
Throwing yourself into stressful situations without any support from others (the Internet isn't a support group) is going to be more counter-productive for you than anything. You have a long way to go to reach the point of having any long-term relationships.
I'm not going to lie, the road is long and hard. You can't get there without many rejections along the way. Without having even a single friend to be there to encourage you, you're going to crush your own spirit and end up more reclusive than before.
There is a girl I've been talking to online for a few months that I think could be considered a friend. And she is very supportive. And she has helped me come up with ideas for dates and giving me adviceice too. I've never met her IRL but she would count right?
No he's not.
KEPP ON FIGHTING WE LOVE YOU!
Thank you for that :)
How did you meet this girl Barnes?
I met her on plentyfofish.com a free online dating site.
Tell us more about you, I'm interested.
Tell us more about you, I'm interested.
Umm I don't really know what so say but if you ask specific questions I would answer them.
I can be cynical at times.
There is a girl I've been talking to online for a few months that I think could be considered a friend. And she is very supportive. And she has helped me come up with ideas for dates and giving me adviceice too. I've never met her IRL but she would count right?
Thank you for that :)
I met her on plentyfofish.com a free online dating site.
>And she has helped me come up with ideas for dates and giving me adviceice too. I've never met her IRL but she would count right?
It's on the right track, yes. The problem is that biochemically, our brains don't respond to textual-interaction the same way as interacting in person. There's no replacement for interacting with people in person. Although having online friends is never a bad thing. But your friends shouldn't be exclusively online-only.
Also, male-male friendships can't be replaced with male-female friendships. You can't discuss the same things with a male as you can a female. Females aren't going to give you the the adviceice you need for relationships. It's no exaggeration to say that they really don't know what they want. There's a clear evolutionary purpose to this but that's the subject of entire books (see the well-regarded book: Sperm Wars).
look, man. i've been following your progress, and one thing i noticed right off the bat is that you've got actual ideas for dates. this is an edge you have over most social retards. girls love that. experiences. memories.
the fact that you asked her if you could touch her and she not only said yes, but SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED KISSING should just be the ultimate goddamn green light in your head.
girls don't say that sh*t randomly.
SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU. there's literally no goal to work towards that's higher than that. she's done all the work for you. this is a golden opportunity, Barnes.
STOP LETTING WHATEVER BLOCK YOU HAVE PREVENT YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU BOTH WANT. DOOOO IIIIIT
it's like those two trees, OP.
all you've basically got to do is close your eyes, lean in, and f**k it.
look, man. i've been following your progress, and one thing i noticed right off the bat is that you've got actual ideas for dates. this is an edge you have over most social retards. girls love that. experiences. memories.
the fact that you asked her if you could touch her and she not only said yes, but SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED KISSING should just be the ultimate goddamn green light in your head.
girls don't say that sh*t randomly.
SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU. there's literally no goal to work towards that's higher than that. she's done all the work for you. this is a golden opportunity, Barnes.
STOP LETTING WHATEVER BLOCK YOU HAVE PREVENT YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU BOTH WANT. DOOOO IIIIIT
>SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.
Don't be too optimistic. A healthy dose of cynicism is never bad. Given his situation, it's possible that she is doing this out of pity. Not that this should change anything. he should take the opportunity, either way.
But we don't want him having unrealistic expectations. Barnes, consider this nothing more than a practice girlfriend. Trust me when I say that you will go through many more before entering your first long-term relationship.
look, man. i've been following your progress, and one thing i noticed right off the bat is that you've got actual ideas for dates. this is an edge you have over most social retards. girls love that. experiences. memories.
the fact that you asked her if you could touch her and she not only said yes, but SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED KISSING should just be the ultimate goddamn green light in your head.
girls don't say that sh*t randomly.
SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU. there's literally no goal to work towards that's higher than that. she's done all the work for you. this is a golden opportunity, Barnes.
STOP LETTING WHATEVER BLOCK YOU HAVE PREVENT YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU BOTH WANT. DOOOO IIIIIT
Well pretty much all of the ideas for date come from you guys. When I make threads asking for adviceice and from the girl I've been talking to online and from the girl I'm 'dating'.. The only ones I've come up with are going to the movies and her coming to my house to watch movies. Well and watching a meteor shower.
>SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.
Don't be too optimistic. A healthy dose of cynicism is never bad. Given his situation, it's possible that she is doing this out of pity. Not that this should change anything. he should take the opportunity, either way.
But we don't want him having unrealistic expectations. Barnes, consider this nothing more than a practice girlfriend. Trust me when I say that you will go through many more before entering your first long-term relationship.
really?
what girl actually goes out for a FIFTH time with a fat neckbeard, encourages the guy to touch and kiss her, and is just doing it out of pity? she likes him.
consider the source, man. this girl's probably got her own issues.
i do agree about the "practice" thing. this may be a beautiful, lasting relationship.. but if not, he's getting the baby steps over with.
>SHE ACTUALLY SAID SHE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH HER. THIS MEANS SHE LIKES YOU.
Don't be too optimistic. A healthy dose of cynicism is never bad. Given his situation, it's possible that she is doing this out of pity. Not that this should change anything. he should take the opportunity, either way.
But we don't want him having unrealistic expectations. Barnes, consider this nothing more than a practice girlfriend. Trust me when I say that you will go through many more before entering your first long-term relationship.
I have wondered that too. Which may be why I am still worried about hugging her at least partly anyways.
I'm just stopping by to tell you that your soul is currently is currently residing in hell, where you are being punished for your sins.
This is never going to end. You will never be free.
As a female, I would dump you if you ever pulled that sh*t on me. Be a f**king man, would you?
I have wondered that too. Which may be why I am still worried about hugging her at least partly anyways.
I understand what you mean. But you have to look at it from the logical perspective. Since you see this as nothing other than a practice relationship (this mindset is probably the best thing you can adopt), it doesn't matter what the f**k she thinks of you.
It's an experiment. See how bold you can be without being rejected. If you're rejected, you've now found a new upper bound for your next practice girlfriend.
This is the philosophy that the book "The Game" encourages. It's surprisingly scientific, and certainly tested with success.
I have wondered that too. Which may be why I am still worried about hugging her at least partly anyways.
That's f**king stupid.
If she was dating you out of pity, her response to your original question would have been a simple, "Yes, I want you to touch me." However, she took it a step further and even asked you to KISS HER. That right there proves she's sincere and interested. Stop accusing her of lying and just f**king hug her. You're insulting her every single time you puss out.
God. If I was her, you would have broken every bit of my confidence by now. You're f**king toying with her.
damn it, Barnes, this is painful to read. I'm about as socially awkward as you, but I know not to ask if it's ok to touch/hug/kiss. (although I did have a female friend ask if she could hug me before, but that's because I'd told her that I'm kind of anxious around people I don't know too well yet).
Anyways, you just have to pick up on this stuff. I remember with my first gf, it was very obvious she wanted me to kiss her at the end of one of our dates. I can't exactly explain it exactly, but for instance, whenever I would make a little lean toward her or something like that, she would freeze up and give me this kind of hopeful look; then I'd notice that she had a disappointed look when I leaned back away.
She was a lot more experienced than me too, so when I finally did decide to just go in and kiss her, I intended for it to be a simple closed-mouth kiss on the lips as to not move too fast and show my amateurishness. She, however, was expecting something different and opened her mouth and kind of started trying to make out with me while I had my mouth closed. It was really awkward (I think more so on my end) and I pushed her back. She made a sad look and asked what was wrong, so I just told her (in a sanguine tone) that it was supposed to be a simple peck and laughed, then I ended the date there.
The next time we hung out, I did make out with her, and with practice I got better at it.
Compared to my second gf though, she wasn't as good of a kisser as I initially though. She liked to use way too much tongue (for my tastes).
Well pretty much all of the ideas for date come from you guys. When I make threads asking for adviceice and from the girl I've been talking to online and from the girl I'm 'dating'.. The only ones I've come up with are going to the movies and her coming to my house to watch movies. Well and watching a meteor shower.
Go to the zoo, go to museums, take her out for dinner, do romantic stuff
I understand what you mean. But you have to look at it from the logical perspective. Since you see this as nothing other than a practice relationship (this mindset is probably the best thing you can adopt), it doesn't matter what the f**k she thinks of you.
It's an experiment. See how bold you can be without being rejected. If you're rejected, you've now found a new upper bound for your next practice girlfriend.
This is the philosophy that the book "The Game" encourages. It's surprisingly scientific, and certainly tested with success.
Nigga, please, you can call PUA everything from bullsh*t to awesome, but please not scientific.
why hasn't she hugged you? or made any physical adviceances of her own?
What's the worst she would do if you hugged or kissed her before a date? If that bothers her then she's a bitch, but she isn't and you should have manned the f**k up.
why hasn't she hugged you? or made any physical adviceances of her own?
she's insecure. she wants the same things as him, but she's shy too.
that's why she's given him chance after chance. she probably feels like sh*t every time you don't make a move, Barnes.. especially after she encouraged you to do so.
just do it, man.
That's f**king stupid.
If she was dating you out of pity, her response to your original question would have been a simple, "Yes, I want you to touch me." However, she took it a step further and even asked you to KISS HER. That right there proves she's sincere and interested. Stop accusing her of lying and just f**king hug her. You're insulting her every single time you puss out.
God. If I was her, you would have broken every bit of my confidence by now. You're f**king toying with her.
None of what you said proved that it isn't out of pity. Have you ever heard of pity-sex? A goddamn pity-kiss ain't got sh*t on it.
EVEN IF this is all out of pity, why the hell should you care, Barnes? She gives you a pity relationship (and possibly pity-sex) and you enjoy it. She in turn feels better about helping you out. The only person who can lose is yourself if you don't take up her kiss offer and try to escalate it to your much deserved pity-sex. Take what you deserve for christ sake
Nigga, please, you can call PUA everything from bullsh*t to awesome, but please not scientific.
You don't understand the scientific method.
why hasn't she hugged you? or made any physical adviceances of her own?
she's insecure. she wants the same things as him, but she's shy too.
that's why she's given him chance after chance. she probably feels like sh*t every time you don't make a move, Barnes.. especially after she encouraged you to do so.
just do it, man.
Actually, she has made some adviceances. He said last time that she even asked, "Would you like to put your arm around me?" It's clear he's shy, so no reasonable girl is gonna go and start grabbing at his balls, so I think she was as forward as any girl could comfortably be with B&N.
Barnes, and I'm sure this has been stated plenty of times already, you are thinking TOO HARD. Stop thinking about it and just do it. Most romantic situations are impulsive. You just have to go with the flow and DO IT GODDAMNIT. You're going to give me a hernia.
She must be the most patient woman ever.
Barnes, and I'm sure this has been stated plenty of times already, you are thinking TOO HARD. Stop thinking about it and just do it. Most romantic situations are impulsive. You just have to go with the flow and DO IT GODDAMNIT. You're going to give me a hernia.
>most romantic situations are impulsive
..but with B&N most romantic situations are REpulsive
ZING :D
Another alternative is for Barnes to get into BDSM and find a dominant woman. From there, he can gradually move towards more normal women.
why hasn't she hugged you? or made any physical adviceances of her own?
She did try to hold my hand when we were walking back to my car after the second date. But I pulled my hand away not knowing that she was trying to hold my hand but then she just asked if I wanted to hold her hand. which we did. And she does seem to brush her arm against mine when we are sitting next to each other
she's insecure. she wants the same things as him, but she's shy too.
that's why she's given him chance after chance. she probably feels like sh*t every time you don't make a move, Barnes.. especially after she encouraged you to do so.
just do it, man.
I don't want to feel that way which is why I keep saying all the stupid sh*t on AIM. To let her know that I want to but I'm just nervous as hell.
None of what you said proved that it isn't out of pity. Have you ever heard of pity-sex? A goddamn pity-kiss ain't got sh*t on it.
EVEN IF this is all out of pity, why the hell should you care, Barnes? She gives you a pity relationship (and possibly pity-sex) and you enjoy it. She in turn feels better about helping you out. The only person who can lose is yourself if you don't take up her kiss offer and try to escalate it to your much deserved pity-sex. Take what you deserve for christ sake
If she was just doing it out of pity regardless of what it was, a hug, a kiss, sex. It would make me feel like sh*t and I would think I'm am even more pathetic then I am now. Well a pity hug wouldn't be that bad but the others would.
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
We get to the park, well to part of the park. The gardens and walk around a bit. I was actually pretty comfortable being with her their. I think it was because I didn't have to worry if she wanted me to touch her or not. While we were walking I wanted to hold her hand but she had the map of the place in her hand. When she would hold it with the other hand I would start to muster up the courage to hold her hand but then we would get to a plant or pond or something that would mess things up. So I never did hold her hand. After we walked around a bit we went back to my car to drive to the other part of the park (you couldn't walk since it was sectioned off). Neither of us had been there before and so didn't know where we were going but we eventually found some swings and just sat on those for a while. After that we went to quiznos to eat. When we finished eating we still had an hour before I had to leave since I had a class and we we still wanted to hang out so we walked around the other stores and went into a music store. I found it really awkward to just be handing out there but we did she did get a book about teaching yourself to play play the guitar. Then we left and I took her home and no I didn't kiss her or hug her then either.
I'm starting to wonder if I just don't have the social skill needed to get a girlfriend.
OP, you will NEVER have a girlfriend you're even remotely attracted to unless you grow some balls, and it's important that you do because you will live a sad life if you simply settle for some wh**re you don't even like.
how you even made it to 5 dates with this girl is astonishing. she must really like you, but i wouldn't be surprised if she's given up by now.
You don't understand the scientific method.
Pls give me a link to any PUA book where there is anything remotely similiar to statistical analysis of aquired data.
It's more like some guru telling so hurr durr derp theory with no objective data to back it up.
She did try to hold my hand when we were walking back to my car after the second date. But I pulled my hand away not knowing that she was trying to hold my hand but then she just asked if I wanted to hold her hand. which we did. And she does seem to brush her arm against mine when we are sitting next to each other
I don't want to feel that way which is why I keep saying all the stupid sh*t on AIM. To let her know that I want to but I'm just nervous as hell.
If she was just doing it out of pity regardless of what it was, a hug, a kiss, sex. It would make me feel like sh*t and I would think I'm am even more pathetic then I am now. Well a pity hug wouldn't be that bad but the others would.
I'm getting this weird "something in your post isn't allowed :(" message when I try to post this, so screen cap instead. Please read the image.
She did try to hold my hand when we were walking back to my car after the second date. But I pulled my hand away not knowing that she was trying to hold my hand but then she just asked if I wanted to hold her hand. which we did. And she does seem to brush her arm against mine when we are sitting next to each other
I don't want to feel that way which is why I keep saying all the stupid sh*t on AIM. To let her know that I want to but I'm just nervous as hell.
If she was just doing it out of pity regardless of what it was, a hug, a kiss, sex. It would make me feel like sh*t and I would think I'm am even more pathetic then I am now. Well a pity hug wouldn't be that bad but the others would.
>If she was just doing it out of pity regardless of what it was, a hug, a kiss, sex. It would make me feel like sh*t and I would think I'm am even more pathetic then I am now. Well a pity hug wouldn't be that bad but the others would.
Get over yourself. The sooner you realize how pathetic your situation is, the sooner you can really begin to move on. Trying to pretend that it isn't as bad as you'd like to think isn't helping you.
I'm not trying to be rude when I say you should take all the help that you can get.
Try something new for once and go with what she wants. She's likely more socially well adjusted than you. If she thinks that you would benefit from a pity hug, kiss, or sex, then who the hell are you to reject it? Sex surrogates are a legitimate theraputic practice. Consider yourself lucky that she's essentially giving you free therapy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_surrogate
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
Barnes neckbeard, you can have seckz with her. I believe in you.
Barnes,
When a guy is super nervous around me - obviously fumbling over words/actions/etc, I find it cute.
Just go for it. The awkward is really flattering for a lot of girls (to an extent, and I'm assuming her as well because she's still around) - it shows us that you really like us.
If she's told you that you can kiss her, you don't need to worry about rejection, so even if you're awkward, even if you bump your teeth together at first, or hug the "wrong" way or anything, it'll be cute. You'll have a moment of awkward, and you'll fix it. You'll both laugh a little, smile, blush, and do it right.
Then it will be TONS easier the next time.
Pls give me a link to any PUA book where there is anything remotely similiar to statistical analysis of aquired data.
It's more like some guru telling so hurr durr derp theory with no objective data to back it up.
the scientific method doesnt require statistical analysis, you f**king idiot. it's been around a lot longer than statistics and probability theory.
Pls give me a link to any PUA book where there is anything remotely similiar to statistical analysis of aquired data.
It's more like some guru telling so hurr durr derp theory with no objective data to back it up.
B&N
Thank about this.
Put yourself in her shoes.
What would you like HER to do?
Keep that in mind.
Then do just THAT.
When you put your arm around her she LIKES IT, really. Not kidding. She won't change her mind either. Just enjoy. When you go to hug her she's anticipating it as much as you. Obviously she's shy too otherwise she'd have gripped you by now and forced a kiss, but she's doing this for you, she wants to go at your pace.
So just keep in mind: What you want, she wants.
If she doesn't express explicitly that she's changed her mind, then she STILL likes it, still likes you and still wants it(be that a hug, a kiss or just being near)
So please make her happy =D
It'll make you happy, too.
Since you can't seem to trust your own judgment, trust her judgment and do what she invited you to do.
Since we're on the topic of social retardedness I have a quick question - this girl I sit next to in my psych class is constantly rubbing her leg on mine when we talk, girls realise they're doing that right?
I mean, I'd notice pretty quick if I was gyrating my leg on some girl every class.
the scientific method doesnt require statistical analysis, you f**king idiot. it's been around a lot longer than statistics and probability theory.
everything that is not quantitative is just bla bla.
Not it's X. No it's Y. No it's Y.
How do you want to tell without data and their analysis?
Since we're on the topic of social retardedness I have a quick question - this girl I sit next to in my psych class is constantly rubbing her leg on mine when we talk, girls realise they're doing that right?
I mean, I'd notice pretty quick if I was gyrating my leg on some girl every class.
That's about the most obvious invitation you are going to get to escalate your relationship with her. Take it now, or you lose your chance.
Since we're on the topic of social retardedness I have a quick question - this girl I sit next to in my psych class is constantly rubbing her leg on mine when we talk, girls realise they're doing that right?
I mean, I'd notice pretty quick if I was gyrating my leg on some girl every class.
yeah, she knows. though they like to play coy and probably won't admit. Next time she does it, put your hand on her leg and rub it up and down (not too far up though, try to stay near the knee).
B&N
Thank about this.
Put yourself in her shoes.
What would you like HER to do?
Keep that in mind.
Then do just THAT.
When you put your arm around her she LIKES IT, really. Not kidding. She won't change her mind either. Just enjoy. When you go to hug her she's anticipating it as much as you. Obviously she's shy too otherwise she'd have gripped you by now and forced a kiss, but she's doing this for you, she wants to go at your pace.
So just keep in mind: What you want, she wants.
If she doesn't express explicitly that she's changed her mind, then she STILL likes it, still likes you and still wants it(be that a hug, a kiss or just being near)
So please make her happy =D
It'll make you happy, too.
lol esfj gives relationsh*t adviceice
fail
everything that is not quantitative is just bla bla.
Not it's X. No it's Y. No it's Y.
How do you want to tell without data and their analysis?
"I kissed her on the 1st date"
This resulted in 19 positive reactions from several independent girls and 2 negative reactions from several independently met girls.
you have to be f**king kidding me that you cant see how this can be easily quantified. the point is that it doesnt need to be to be scientific. the point is to develop an intuitive feeling for this type of thing
I'm getting this weird "something in your post isn't allowed :(" message when I try to post this, so screen cap instead. Please read the image.
hahaha so true man, most girls overanalyse way more than even the most socially f**ked guy
I ALSO WANT TO HAVE A PRACTICE GIRLFIREND CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY OP
lol esfj gives relationsh*t adviceice
fail
esfj?
"I kissed her on the 1st date"
This resulted in 19 positive reactions from several independent girls and 2 negative reactions from several independently met girls.
you have to be f**king kidding me that you cant see how this can be easily quantified. the point is that it doesnt need to be to be scientific. the point is to develop an intuitive feeling for this type of thing
I totally agree with you.
But then please don't say that PUA uses the "scientific method"
Oh and I'll be 24 by the end of the month.
srsly u can't hug a girl? you're 24?
an hero time bro
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
i know exactly how it feels
took me ages to work up the courage to touch (especially kiss) my current girlfriend
just do it when you feel ready =)
dont do it because you feel pressured.
trust me, man, its the way to go.
hahaha so true man, most girls overanalyse way more than even the most socially f**ked guy
Exactly. Girls can twist absolutely anything into a personal insult, no matter how minute. Unfortunately, B&N is waving a pretty offending flag in her face, and it's just begging the poor girl to mentally destroy herself.
I totally agree with you.
But then please don't say that PUA uses the "scientific method"
no, it does use the scientific method. all of the results are easily quantifiable. and the method of experimentation is changed off the results from prior studies, in order to get a more accurate understanding of relationships.
if you cant see this by now, then you really shouldnt be trying to argue about something you have no clue about
God damn it man. She f**king GAVE YOU PERMISSION to kiss her.
No, no, no. She TOLD HIM to kiss her.
Flat out TOLD HIM.
C'mon B&N, get it together.
yeah, she knows. though they like to play coy and probably won't admit. Next time she does it, put your hand on her leg and rub it up and down (not too far up though, try to stay near the knee).
oh cool then, I probably won't do anything though. I'm deathly scared of her saying something like "I was rubbing my leg on you and you think I like you? how f**king petty are you I bet you're a virgin".
Kinda exaggerated but you get what I mean
That's about the most obvious invitation you are going to get to escalate your relationship with her. Take it now, or you lose your chance.
lolol I can see that turning into WHAT THE F**K GET OFF ME LOOK AT THIS CREEP HE TRIED TO FEEL ME UP
classmate: ewwww
classmate2: it's gonna be okay we'll call the police on this freak
I'm getting this weird "something in your post isn't allowed :(" message when I try to post this, so screen cap instead. Please read the image.
F**k! Should I just tell her that I like her and that I think she is pretty has a great smile. Would that make her feel better? I did give her some complements when we were just talking online and hadn't gone on a date yet but I don't think I have since we have dated. And now that I have seen her in person I do find her attractive.
>If she was just doing it out of pity regardless of what it was, a hug, a kiss, sex. It would make me feel like sh*t and I would think I'm am even more pathetic then I am now. Well a pity hug wouldn't be that bad but the others would.
Get over yourself. The sooner you realize how pathetic your situation is, the sooner you can really begin to move on. Trying to pretend that it isn't as bad as you'd like to think isn't helping you.
I'm not trying to be rude when I say you should take all the help that you can get.
Try something new for once and go with what she wants. She's likely more socially well adjusted than you. If she thinks that you would benefit from a pity hug, kiss, or sex, then who the hell are you to reject it? Sex surrogates are a legitimate theraputic practice. Consider yourself lucky that she's essentially giving you free therapy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_surrogate
Believe me I do know how pathetic I am which is part of the reason why I am so worried about hugging her. Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands. And I have been doing what she wants. For the first date we went to the movies and say the movie she mentioned in her profile saying she really wanted to she it. And the second date at the spaghetti warehouse was also her idea. And the third date at the art museum was her idea as well (I don't even like art). The 4th date at my place was my idea but she said she thought it would be fun. Going to the park was also my idea. I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been.
Barnes neckbeard, you can have seckz with her. I believe in you.
hehe. thanks
Barnes,
When a guy is super nervous around me - obviously fumbling over words/actions/etc, I find it cute.
Just go for it. The awkward is really flattering for a lot of girls (to an extent, and I'm assuming her as well because she's still around) - it shows us that you really like us.
If she's told you that you can kiss her, you don't need to worry about rejection, so even if you're awkward, even if you bump your teeth together at first, or hug the "wrong" way or anything, it'll be cute. You'll have a moment of awkward, and you'll fix it. You'll both laugh a little, smile, blush, and do it right.
Then it will be TONS easier the next time.
I was hoping she does. I know I would find it very cute if she did those things. Thanks for the encouragement.
You gotta take action soon. There's only so many more dates you can go on before she cracks.
oh cool then, I probably won't do anything though. I'm deathly scared of her saying something like "I was rubbing my leg on you and you think I like you? how f**king petty are you I bet you're a virgin".
Kinda exaggerated but you get what I mean
lolol I can see that turning into WHAT THE F**K GET OFF ME LOOK AT THIS CREEP HE TRIED TO FEEL ME UP
classmate: ewwww
classmate2: it's gonna be okay we'll call the police on this freak
>classmate2: it's gonna be okay we'll call the police on this freak
lol? escalate doesn't mean to stick your hand down her shirt. it simply means touch her back in a manner similar to how she did. it really doesn't even matter how, a high-five, brush your leg against hers gently (if you do this and she asks wtf are you doing, ask her why the f**k her leg keeps gyrating against yours)... any excuse you can find to return the physical interaction
F**k! Should I just tell her that I like her and that I think she is pretty has a great smile. Would that make her feel better? I did give her some complements when we were just talking online and hadn't gone on a date yet but I don't think I have since we have dated. And now that I have seen her in person I do find her attractive.
Believe me I do know how pathetic I am which is part of the reason why I am so worried about hugging her. Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands. And I have been doing what she wants. For the first date we went to the movies and say the movie she mentioned in her profile saying she really wanted to she it. And the second date at the spaghetti warehouse was also her idea. And the third date at the art museum was her idea as well (I don't even like art). The 4th date at my place was my idea but she said she thought it would be fun. Going to the park was also my idea. I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been.
hehe. thanks
I was hoping she does. I know I would find it very cute if she did those things. Thanks for the encouragement.
No. Like I said, being nice to her over IM and then a jackass in person is part of your problem. Don't continue to MAKE THAT PROBLEM WORSE.
Be nice to her in person, because that's where it counts. On Wednesday when she opens the door, say, "You look fantastic!" and give her a huge bear hug. Doesn't have to be sexual or anything. Just cheerful and it's-good-to-see-you-again-I-like-seeing-you.
No. Like I said, being nice to her over IM and then a jackass in person is part of your problem. Don't continue to MAKE THAT PROBLEM WORSE.
Be nice to her in person, because that's where it counts. On Wednesday when she opens the door, say, "You look fantastic!" and give her a huge bear hug. Doesn't have to be sexual or anything. Just cheerful and it's-good-to-see-you-again-I-like-seeing-you.
this.
but dont ambush her with a giant hug
say hi, then go in for one.
F**k! Should I just tell her that I like her and that I think she is pretty has a great smile. Would that make her feel better? I did give her some complements when we were just talking online and hadn't gone on a date yet but I don't think I have since we have dated. And now that I have seen her in person I do find her attractive.
Believe me I do know how pathetic I am which is part of the reason why I am so worried about hugging her. Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands. And I have been doing what she wants. For the first date we went to the movies and say the movie she mentioned in her profile saying she really wanted to she it. And the second date at the spaghetti warehouse was also her idea. And the third date at the art museum was her idea as well (I don't even like art). The 4th date at my place was my idea but she said she thought it would be fun. Going to the park was also my idea. I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been.
hehe. thanks
I was hoping she does. I know I would find it very cute if she did those things. Thanks for the encouragement.
> I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been
man, even when you post you come off as really insecure. Don't fret about this sh*t, who cares if you have one bad date
no, it does use the scientific method. all of the results are easily quantifiable. and the method of experimentation is changed off the results from prior studies, in order to get a more accurate understanding of relationships.
if you cant see this by now, then you really shouldnt be trying to argue about something you have no clue about
>>and the method of experimentation is changed off the >>resultsfrom prior studies
wat?
So how did you manage to ask her out if you cannot even hug her?
So how did you manage to ask her out if you cannot even hug her?
im betting it was the result of years of bottled up anger at being shy, he exploded, went nerd-saiyan, and asked her out :D
Are you doing anything to build your confidence OP? What are you doing besides going out with this girl that YOU really like to do?
You sound really insecure, and it seems like you really should do something to increase your own self confidence.
So how did you manage to ask her out if you cannot even hug her?
ONLINE DATING HOW OFTEN SHOULD HE REPEAT IT
F**k! Should I just tell her that I like her and that I think she is pretty has a great smile. Would that make her feel better? I did give her some complements when we were just talking online and hadn't gone on a date yet but I don't think I have since we have dated. And now that I have seen her in person I do find her attractive.
Believe me I do know how pathetic I am which is part of the reason why I am so worried about hugging her. Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands. And I have been doing what she wants. For the first date we went to the movies and say the movie she mentioned in her profile saying she really wanted to she it. And the second date at the spaghetti warehouse was also her idea. And the third date at the art museum was her idea as well (I don't even like art). The 4th date at my place was my idea but she said she thought it would be fun. Going to the park was also my idea. I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been.
hehe. thanks
I was hoping she does. I know I would find it very cute if she did those things. Thanks for the encouragement.
>I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like.
But you are forcing yourself to do stuff you don't. you don't lose weight by eating more. same principal here.
Seriously, tell me that you will at least download and read the first chapter of "The Game". It describes you in detail, and why everything you have been doing is going against you.
I'd like to go to sleep. But if I do, I feel as if I've wasted all this time in this thread because you're still trying to rationalize your self-destructive thought patterns as somehow being positive.
Read the first chapter, that's all i'm asking! You'll be hooked and it will be for the better.
Let me go to sleep knowing that I haven't wasted all this time only for you to ignore this simple adviceice
ONLINE DATING HOW OFTEN SHOULD HE REPEAT IT
Online dating still requires you to ask dumbsh*t.
He cant even get the balls for a hug yet somehow managed to ask her out and arrange a date?
So how did you manage to ask her out if you cannot even hug her?
How can you even go out with her if you can't eat her poop?
>>Thought about an action is the death of an action
Quoted for Badass.
So how did you manage to ask her out if you cannot even hug her?
I asked her out on AIM. I used to be just as bad online but after 3 years on okcupid (mostly being ignored) and making a friend online and from posting here I have gotten a Lot better at it. But I still have very little experience IRL.
>I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like.
But you are forcing yourself to do stuff you don't. you don't lose weight by eating more. same principal here.
Seriously, tell me that you will at least download and read the first chapter of "The Game". It describes you in detail, and why everything you have been doing is going against you.
I'd like to go to sleep. But if I do, I feel as if I've wasted all this time in this thread because you're still trying to rationalize your self-destructive thought patterns as somehow being positive.
Read the first chapter, that's all i'm asking! You'll be hooked and it will be for the better.
Let me go to sleep knowing that I haven't wasted all this time only for you to ignore this simple adviceice
I'll download it. I'm not saying I'll read it all since I'm am very doubtful it is anymore then a bs self help book.
I asked her out on AIM. I used to be just as bad online but after 3 years on okcupid (mostly being ignored) and making a friend online and from posting here I have gotten a Lot better at it. But I still have very little experience IRL.
Think of it this way, if you would "emote it" or say it on AIM, do it or say it IRL.
Don't even think twice. Honestly the biggest mistake you can make is giving a sh*t what anyone else but you thinks. Who cares if they have an opinion about a neckbeard and a cute girl, they're just jealous.
You're the man for asking her out, now take the manliness from AIM and hug her IRL.
I believe in you!
>I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like.
But you are forcing yourself to do stuff you don't. you don't lose weight by eating more. same principal here.
Seriously, tell me that you will at least download and read the first chapter of "The Game". It describes you in detail, and why everything you have been doing is going against you.
I'd like to go to sleep. But if I do, I feel as if I've wasted all this time in this thread because you're still trying to rationalize your self-destructive thought patterns as somehow being positive.
Read the first chapter, that's all i'm asking! You'll be hooked and it will be for the better.
Let me go to sleep knowing that I haven't wasted all this time only for you to ignore this simple adviceice
hes a f**king troll so of course he wont stop durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I asked her out on AIM. I used to be just as bad online but after 3 years on okcupid (mostly being ignored) and making a friend online and from posting here I have gotten a Lot better at it. But I still have very little experience IRL.
i feel your pain robro
i was the same
LISTEN TO ME
just take it easy, try to have fun, it'll happen when it feels right. Rushing, because you feel under pressure, is the way you f**k sh*t up. Trust me man.
i feel your pain robro
i was the same
LISTEN TO ME
just take it easy, try to have fun, it'll happen when it feels right. Rushing, because you feel under pressure, is the way you f**k sh*t up. Trust me man.
that is, depends on if you're looking for a serious, real relationship, or just trying to get into her pants.
i have different adviceice for each. Which is it?
I'll download it. I'm not saying I'll read it all since I'm am very doubtful it is anymore then a bs self help book.
Thank you (your future self will also be thanking you). Read at least the first 30 pages before you decide if you want to quit reading it. Not that this is asking much!
Chances are you'll end up reading all of it, or at least up till the part of "Project Hollywood" (after that point, it's more of a novel than inspiration/guide).
BTW, you should really save these threads or at least your posts. People like reading about self-improvement. And when you do become more socially adept, your story is going to be that much more interesting and inspiring.
if you've saved your older ones, i'd be interested in reading them, if you're willing to share:
trstriding@gmail.com
As far as I see it, you have a couple of options.
Just go for it sometime, knowing that any awkward moments will be sweet, cute, etc
Or find a way to get her to make the first moves because you can't.
The first is the much better of the two, though I'm really hoping that if you just get to the point where you can't, she charges ahead and goes for it for you.
When she brushes her hand on your arm and is just generally close, that's her way of hinting "Hey, I'm here, I want you to touch me". That's her way of directly saying "Just take my hand and hold it in yours!"
So either do it or hope she doesn't mind taking the lead for you. You have way more knowledge that what you want to do is okay, that she wants it (most guys don't even get that), so you're far better off as far as that goes, it's just a matter of doing it
Not thinking, just doing. And not thinking about not thinking (worse than thinking about it in the first place)
F**k! Should I just tell her that I like her and that I think she is pretty has a great smile. Would that make her feel better? I did give her some complements when we were just talking online and hadn't gone on a date yet but I don't think I have since we have dated. And now that I have seen her in person I do find her attractive.
Believe me I do know how pathetic I am which is part of the reason why I am so worried about hugging her. Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands. And I have been doing what she wants. For the first date we went to the movies and say the movie she mentioned in her profile saying she really wanted to she it. And the second date at the spaghetti warehouse was also her idea. And the third date at the art museum was her idea as well (I don't even like art). The 4th date at my place was my idea but she said she thought it would be fun. Going to the park was also my idea. I haven't been forcing her to do stuff she doesn't like. At least I don't think I have been.
hehe. thanks
I was hoping she does. I know I would find it very cute if she did those things. Thanks for the encouragement.
>Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands.
Remove her from that pedestal of yours asap!.Not good enough for her? Is she a little girl who doesn't know who she wants to date? She is dating you, she agreed on dating you on her own. By thinking that you are not good for her you are belittling her decision. It's like saying that oh well she probably would date just anyone. I know that this is not what you mean, but your mentality is saying exactly that. She is an adult woman, treat her like one. You are on equal terms and she is not some lack-willed, mindless creature who can't make her own decision. Once you realize that, a huge part of your insecurities will go away and you will feel much more comfortable and confident.
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
5th date and no real touching whatsoever? she likes you man, if she didn't she would have broken it up already...don't think about it, just do it.
I used to be like you and wait for the perfect moment for sh*t. Then I realized that the perfect moment will never come, so just go for it when you get a shot. If she walks out the door holding something, then take that sh*t out of her hand, put it down, and then hug her. While hugging her, go in for the kiss. If she's not already gazing into your eyes waiting for it, then pull back a little bit, move her head, and get in there and kiss the crap out of her, like a man. She'll love it.
This is the first and only time you will hear this adviceice; DO NOT THINK, JUST DO. It's the thinking and overanalyzing that's going to f**k this up for you in the end. Don't let it get to that. Stop worrying about impressions and just relax a little.
As far as I see it, you have a couple of options.
Just go for it sometime, knowing that any awkward moments will be sweet, cute, etc
Or find a way to get her to make the first moves because you can't.
The first is the much better of the two, though I'm really hoping that if you just get to the point where you can't, she charges ahead and goes for it for you.
When she brushes her hand on your arm and is just generally close, that's her way of hinting "Hey, I'm here, I want you to touch me". That's her way of directly saying "Just take my hand and hold it in yours!"
So either do it or hope she doesn't mind taking the lead for you. You have way more knowledge that what you want to do is okay, that she wants it (most guys don't even get that), so you're far better off as far as that goes, it's just a matter of doing it
Not thinking, just doing. And not thinking about not thinking (worse than thinking about it in the first place)
I used to be like you and wait for the perfect moment for sh*t. Then I realized that the perfect moment will never come, so just go for it when you get a shot. If she walks out the door holding something, then take that sh*t out of her hand, put it down, and then hug her. While hugging her, go in for the kiss. If she's not already gazing into your eyes waiting for it, then pull back a little bit, move her head, and get in there and kiss the crap out of her, like a man. She'll love it.
The Next time I see pick her up I WILL HUG HER right there on the porch. I want to do it she want me to do it i Will do it.
>Thinking I'm not good enough to touch her and that she wouldn't want some fat neckbeard touching her with his sweaty hands.
Remove her from that pedestal of yours asap!.Not good enough for her? Is she a little girl who doesn't know who she wants to date? She is dating you, she agreed on dating you on her own. By thinking that you are not good for her you are belittling her decision. It's like saying that oh well she probably would date just anyone. I know that this is not what you mean, but your mentality is saying exactly that. She is an adult woman, treat her like one. You are on equal terms and she is not some lack-willed, mindless creature who can't make her own decision. Once you realize that, a huge part of your insecurities will go away and you will feel much more comfortable and confident.
I know hat she is at least interested in me I just can't help but feeling I'm not good enough to be someones friend/boyfriend.
Think of it this way, if you would "emote it" or say it on AIM, do it or say it IRL.
Don't even think twice. Honestly the biggest mistake you can make is giving a sh*t what anyone else but you thinks. Who cares if they have an opinion about a neckbeard and a cute girl, they're just jealous.
You're the man for asking her out, now take the manliness from AIM and hug her IRL.
I believe in you!
Thanks. I am getting better at being myself IRL but it's going slowly.
I told you to watch Zissou and order vegetarian chinese food.
You made her a DiGorno pizza instead. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, F**KER
The Next time I see pick her up I WILL HUG HER right there on the porch. I want to do it she want me to do it i Will do it.
I know hat she is at least interested in me I just can't help but feeling I'm not good enough to be someones friend/boyfriend.
Thanks. I am getting better at being myself IRL but it's going slowly.
I think you almost had the attitude you need in this post.
Keep up with the first part of it. You WILL do it, you WILL kiss her, and all will be happy.
Even if you mess up, it will be happy.
Then you said that you don't feel like you're worth it, oftentimes. I think a lot of people get this way (even socially adjusted ones). We all mess up, not many people truly think they are good people, but most of us just learn to live with ourselves. Sometimes it's the best we can do.
This girl obviously wants you around though; she wants you to be there and by still being there is saying that you are good enough to be her boyfriend. Stand up to that. Prove yourself wrong and her right for everyone's sakes.
It takes a lot to adjust enough to be comfortable around anyone from where I can tell you were.
One step at a time. Start with telling yourself that you will do what it takes. Tell yourself you're awesome. Set small goals and set out to accomplish them.
You might want to get to a point where you can just go to some place you never visit and aimlessly chat with people there. You'll likely never see them again, and it will be awkward and weird as f**k for the first few times. Keep changing where you go.
Gradually, you'll get a lot better with it. Just asking how people's days are going, what they feel about any small, mindless thing. The stupid stuff that doesn't really matter.
When you find you can talk to strangers, it will be tons easier finding that base line of comfort around friends and starting to let people closer.
Holy sh*t stop overanalyzing dude.
Disconnect from your brain man and just do what feels right.
I told you to watch Zissou and order vegetarian chinese food.
You made her a DiGorno pizza instead. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, F**KER
Hehe sorry but she picked out the movies and suggested pizza.
I think you almost had the attitude you need in this post.
Keep up with the first part of it. You WILL do it, you WILL kiss her, and all will be happy.
Even if you mess up, it will be happy.
Then you said that you don't feel like you're worth it, oftentimes. I think a lot of people get this way (even socially adjusted ones). We all mess up, not many people truly think they are good people, but most of us just learn to live with ourselves. Sometimes it's the best we can do.
This girl obviously wants you around though; she wants you to be there and by still being there is saying that you are good enough to be her boyfriend. Stand up to that. Prove yourself wrong and her right for everyone's sakes.
It takes a lot to adjust enough to be comfortable around anyone from where I can tell you were.
One step at a time. Start with telling yourself that you will do what it takes. Tell yourself you're awesome. Set small goals and set out to accomplish them.
You might want to get to a point where you can just go to some place you never visit and aimlessly chat with people there. You'll likely never see them again, and it will be awkward and weird as f**k for the first few times. Keep changing where you go.
Gradually, you'll get a lot better with it. Just asking how people's days are going, what they feel about any small, mindless thing. The stupid stuff that doesn't really matter.
When you find you can talk to strangers, it will be tons easier finding that base line of comfort around friends and starting to let people closer.
Thanks for all of that. I have something like you are suggesting. I would go to the library and read just to be around people and I've even gone to Barnes & Noble a few times for the same reason. It's not nearly as far as talking to people be it's a start.
Barnes what state do you live in?
Barnes what state do you live in?
Oklahoma. Why do you want to know?
Oklahoma. Why do you want to know?
Oh. I wanted to hang out, but I live in Wisconsin. You are one awkward mother f**ker, but you are logical and seem smart enough.
I want to see a TV show made of this
Hehe sorry but she picked out the movies and suggested pizza.
Thanks for all of that. I have something like you are suggesting. I would go to the library and read just to be around people and I've even gone to Barnes & Noble a few times for the same reason. It's not nearly as far as talking to people be it's a start.
Certainly headed down the right path. If you see someone checking out a book or a section you like or know, ask them why they like to read that type of books, or pretend you're looking for something more to read and want some suggestions.
Like I said though, start with places you really don't plan on going to. Then when you get okay with talking to other people, start at the places you do go to.
You'll start to make some casual friends at the places you already visit. Whenever you see them, they may just sit and chat with you for a little bit/picking up whatever conversation you last had with any updates since then.
It's really the best way to get out there.
Another friend of mine had a LOT of social anxiety (not *quite* where you are now, but almost as badly as you have it), and he ended up getting a job at a hotel as the front clerk/busboy, where he HAS to interact with customers and talk to them, he HAS to know the area so he can answer questions.
It helped him immensely in getting over his social anxiety.
Not to say you need to find a job, but just putting yourself in situations where you have to talk to someone about something isn't always a bad thing.
I want to see a TV show made of this
YES. ppl would watch the sh*t out of that. If they made reality tv show out of Barnes and Noble's escapades with this chick I would watch the hell out of it. Who wouldn't?
Oklahoma. Why do you want to know?
Whereabouts? I'm in Texas and want to know if you're close to me.
Whereabouts? I'm in Texas and want to know if you're close to me.
Norman. I'm a student at OU.
my god this thread is a f**king time portal into bee.
I want to see a TV show made of this
YES. ppl would watch the sh*t out of that. If they made reality tv show out of Barnes and Noble's escapades with this chick I would watch the hell out of it. Who wouldn't?
Why would you want to watch that? I can't stand even seeing awkward situations on TV even if it's on a sitcom but on reality shows I hate that. No way could I watch myself or let people film my pathetic attempts at dating.
Why would you want to watch that? I can't stand even seeing awkward situations on TV even if it's on a sitcom but on reality shows I hate that. No way could I watch myself or let people film my pathetic attempts at dating.
they would watch it b/c its something many ppl can relate to. Take this thread, for example: the reason it has attracted so many posts is because ppl relate to your situation. We all have the same kinds of fears as you do, but you are right in the middle of that stage where you are forced to face them, and you don't seem to mind sharing your endeavours with others.
Why would you want to watch that? I can't stand even seeing awkward situations on TV even if it's on a sitcom but on reality shows I hate that. No way could I watch myself or let people film my pathetic attempts at dating.
>>awkward situations on TV
The Office
Norman. Baby.
She wants you to do it.
you want to do it.
YOU SHALL DO IT
Imagine your fear/shyness as a bear and take it on. f**king crush that bear and walk away into the sunset
they would watch it b/c its something many ppl can relate to. Take this thread, for example: the reason it has attracted so many posts is because ppl relate to your situation. We all have the same kinds of fears as you do, but you are right in the middle of that stage where you are forced to face them, and you don't seem to mind sharing your endeavours with others.
I actually found myself thinking about your situation at random times during the day this week: "its wednesday, Barnes and Noble will be reporting about his date tonight, gotta get on anonymous!!!" -this was my thought process earlier tonight
web is going to ruin you barnes. just go ask your dad or something man, you haven't taken any adviceice, ever, to the contrary. you plough forward with your own ideas regardless - like insisting on asking for permission to piss and telling them how meek you are. ok you do it once but don't wear like a f**king badge of honor and remind the girl she is dating a manchild every time you chat on aim. you've done this several times. you got lucky this time with this girl, who must have the heart of gold. stop f**king around.
Norman. I'm a student at OU.
>OU
oh you :3
they would watch it b/c its something many ppl can relate to. Take this thread, for example: the reason it has attracted so many posts is because ppl relate to your situation. We all have the same kinds of fears as you do, but you are right in the middle of that stage where you are forced to face them, and you don't seem to mind sharing your endeavours with others.
American Pie sucked. I don't want to relate to awkward losers because, even if I am one, it's something about myself that I'd like to change, and sympathy and humor isn't going to fix it. It's painful because it's too real. TV is an escape and should be treated as such.
I also hate you because you use "b/c" and "ppl" and that makes me think you're in high school. I hate people who are in high school because they are stupid and don't know sh*t about the world.
American Pie sucked. I don't want to relate to awkward losers because, even if I am one, it's something about myself that I'd like to change, and sympathy and humor isn't going to fix it. It's painful because it's too real. TV is an escape and should be treated as such.
I also hate you because you use "b/c" and "ppl" and that makes me think you're in high school. I hate people who are in high school because they are stupid and don't know sh*t about the world.
I am not in high school. I am in third year university. I study Political Science. I know more about the world than you do. Don't try to convince yourself that you know everything about someone that you in fact know nothing about based merely on some meaningless online-typing habits. Fa**ot.
I am not in high school. I am in third year university. I study Political Science. I know more about the world than you do. Don't try to convince yourself that you know everything about someone that you in fact know nothing about based merely on some meaningless online-typing habits. Fa**ot.
why don't you say that to my face not online motherf**ker and see what happens
I actually found myself thinking about your situation at random times during the day this week: "its wednesday, Barnes and Noble will be reporting about his date tonight, gotta get on anonymous!!!" -this was my thought process earlier tonight
Wow it's really nice to know that someone was thinking of me and actually looking forward to one of my posts. Thank you
Norman. Baby.
She wants you to do it.
you want to do it.
YOU SHALL DO IT
Imagine your fear/shyness as a bear and take it on. f**king crush that bear and walk away into the sunset
I have use adviceice I've gotten from her. But yeah i have let my insecurities make me do or say or ask stupid things that you guys said I shouldn't do. You guys have been helpful.
Wow it's really nice to know that someone was thinking of me and actually looking forward to one of my posts. Thank you
I have use adviceice I've gotten from her. But yeah i have let my insecurities make me do or say or ask stupid things that you guys said I shouldn't do. You guys have been helpful.
I feel the same way as the poster who said he looks forward to your posts. I feel like a lot of people do
seriously man, I almost wonder if this is trollbait.
You literally listen to zero of our suggestions, then repeat every few daze
I feel the same way as the poster who said he looks forward to your posts. I feel like a lot of people do
Thanks. That is nice to know.
seriously man, I almost wonder if this is trollbait.
You literally listen to zero of our suggestions, then repeat every few daze
I do listen to some ideas. Not all of them of course since some I can't do yet. I'll have to work up to them and some I just wont do. But i do head the adviceice of people here. You guys are a valuable source of information.
>And she has helped me come up with ideas for dates and giving me adviceice too. I've never met her IRL but she would count right?
It's on the right track, yes. The problem is that biochemically, our brains don't respond to textual-interaction the same way as interacting in person. There's no replacement for interacting with people in person. Although having online friends is never a bad thing. But your friends shouldn't be exclusively online-only.
Also, male-male friendships can't be replaced with male-female friendships. You can't discuss the same things with a male as you can a female. Females aren't going to give you the the adviceice you need for relationships. It's no exaggeration to say that they really don't know what they want. There's a clear evolutionary purpose to this but that's the subject of entire books (see the well-regarded book: Sperm Wars).
Eh, I have a dyke friend who's pretty much a bro. But whatever.
blcks
seconding the request for Barnes to read "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists"
read the game and then the rules of the game
it is literally a day by day guide of how to overcome the crippling anxiety you suffer from
and will get you laid
Thanks for the continued updates B&N, in the sea of lame 'pick up artist' adviceice that is anonymous you are a true antihero.
OP sounds like me.
JUST BE HONEST WITH EVERYTHING
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HONEST? SHE WILL UNDERSTAND, MAKE HER UNDERSTAND BY BEING HONEST
"OH, GOD, THIS IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME, BUT I DON'T CARE, I WANT TO HUG YOU, COME HERE", HUG ENSUES
YOU SEE HOW F**KING SIMPLE IT IS TO BE AN AWKWARD SOCIAL GOD? JUST BE HONEST
F**K
I'm back from my 5th date with the same girl and it didn't go so well. Yesterday we were talking on AIM and I told her that well I'll just copy and paste it.
>I have a question for you
>I don't have much experience with dating so I'm not that good at reading signals and knowing what to do, so I'm just going to ask
>Do you want me to touch you? Just holding your hand, put my arm around you, hugging you, that kind a thing.
This was her response
>Yeah and kiss me, too.
So that seemed pretty good. She seem to understand and it didn't seem that awkward. So I planned to hug her on her porch right when I picked her up. But when I got there we still had to get dressed and that just through me out of whack. I stood on the porch for a bit hopping to still go through with it how I planned but I started to feel really nervous just standing there to I started to walk back to my car and look up the directions to the park on my GPS device even though I already knew how to get there. So I get in my car and look it up. But then she comes out and I can't go through with it anymore. So we just go sans the hug I had been planning to give her for days.
Barnes, I love you like a brother. I can never usually offer any adviceice and I tend to just bump, but I feel today I can help.
This girl sounds nice, we've not heard that much about her but you're on your fifth date without so much as a hug, but you have to consider that shes sticking by you through this, she is understanding of your situation.
She understands you're nervous, but shes given you the time to work up the courage so my adviceice to you is: At the first of your next date, when she walks out of her home, open your arms a little bit with a smile on your big beautiful bearded face and she'll come and embrace you, the rest will be natural instinct and you'll know what to do.
Then, if you're feeling up for it, at the end of the date pull the same sh*t as at the start, give her a little hug. But when you're pulling away leave your hands on her hips, look into her eyes and say: "Do I get a kiss then or what?" (Perhaps not as Yorkshire as I would say it though?)
You're golden, Barnes, and you can do this. anonymous is completely, 100% behind you on this. You're doing this for every ronery neckbeard on this board, you've got us all rooting you on. You can do this man! We believe in you.
I can only hope this turns out like an English-language "Train Man".
Of course, that will probably never happen.
"Nahh then lassie, d' I git a kiss or owt."
"Nahh then lassie, d' I git a kiss or owt."
More: "Come 'ere 'n 'gis a 'kiss!"
Right, I'm going to leave this thread open and see what other adviceice is offered. I'm off to a funeral!
Barnes, I've been in your situation more than once (minus the AIM questions, WTF man?)
I get this paralysis when it comes to making the move, but I can be very bold sometimes.
Plan for you: At the end of a date where you intended to make a move but haven't, just ask straight up, "do I get a goodbye kiss?"
This will work. I have successfully skipped straight to a kiss even though I hadn't held that girls hand yet. If they aren't into it, you'll get a kiss on the cheek. Win.
If they are into it, then you'll get a kiss on the lips. Win. Once you're to that point, all previous awkwardness will be mostly forgotten. Most importantly, you will forgive yourself for previous failures, and your confidence will improve by over 9000. Feels great man.
This is a win-win option for awkward people like you and I.
invite her over for a planet of the apes marathon
surprise kiss her when the credits hit
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