- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
i used to work at a restaurant
that "freshly made salad"
yeah
we just microwaved it from the freezer
When I was in JROTC in high school, there was this 4 foot tall girl who was 17 years old.
She went with us to do some work for this company so they wouldn't have to actually pay people to do sh*t.
So we all got into ranks, and the guy from the company telling us what to do yelled, "SOMEONE GET THIS LITTLE GIRL OUT OF HERE AND FIND HER MOM!"
Well, I don't work there, but I figured something out about Johnny Garlic's, at least the one close to my house. I love tiramisu, so I'll often buy it at Publix and I get it whenever I am out eating Italian. The problem with the Publix kind is that the cookie part is always too dry (rather than well-soaked in coffee). They also stencil the word "Tiramisu" in cocoa on top of it.
Well, when Johnny Garlic's first opened, I went to eat there and had the tiramisu a few times. It was really good, and they made it with caramel, which was especially interesting. I go back a few weeks later, excited to have it again, and I get the plate. it's obvious that they had stopped making it themselves and bought it straight from Publix. It had the dry cookies and stencil and everything. I was disappoint. :/
i used to work at a restaurant
that "freshly made salad"
yeah
we just microwaved it from the freezer
>"freshly made salad"
>we microwaved it
Anyone else do their job to the best of their ability and always strive for perfection?
Anyone else do their job to the best of their ability and always strive for perfection?
Hell no no freak.
I used to be an ATM technician.
ATM rooms often have a box of rubber bands to hold bills together. I used to do those long ass chains of rubber bands and tie one end somewhere in the room and the other hand on the door knob inside.
Bank employees often thought it was something to trigger a bomb.
Yes, I got fired.
Anyone else do their job to the best of their ability and always strive for perfection?
no work is only a place that I go to to siphon some money out of people with actual ideas and productivity. I like to see how much I can screw around and still get paid for it.
I work at IBM
you cannot believe how much we f**k over other companies with contracts
We have a contract with China allowing workers to do our sh*t for about $40 a month
Before I taught middle school (despite having an undergrad from a top school, teachers with no degrees get to teach HS in my district... lol, but I'm working up there and beyond) I did some time at a private elementary/middle school mix, so 8th graders went to school with 4 year olds. Anyways, one time when I was with my 6th graders walking down a hallway to go outside, we pass by a single bathroom with its doors open with this 4 year old girl screaming 'Look mommy, I'm dooing it I'm doing it!' while she's taking a sh*t on the toilet. She then takes a giant diarrhea filled dump in front of my poor students, some who are laughing and some who are screaming in terror. Her mom, who was in the other room talking with other teachers, flies through and yells at the girl and closes the door.
I decide to ignore the event (first year teaching, so pretty overwhelmed) but my students talked about the incident all day. No overreactions though. Just f**king weird.
Anyone else do their job to the best of their ability and always strive for perfection?
my motivation measures with my paycheck
I once tried to play a prank on a co-worker that went terribly wrong.
I intended to redirect his page requests to a gay porn site using the inline capabilities of the IDS system .. but, in a huge oversight, but I fat-fingered the rule and it applied to all 30,000 endpoints.
Fortunately I caught it after a few seconds as I saw the logs blowing up .. and it only happened to a few hundred people, about a dozen of which called the helpdesk.
Coincidentally .. it was near the time that a major virus/worm was in the news so it got attributed to that and nothing ever came of it.
tl;dr .. regular expressions are tricky sometimes.
When i used to work at Pizza Hut in australia we screwed around alot when there was no people ordering, So we would deep fry random sh*t like Rats and roaches in the deep fry machine. Dont go to Pizza Hut.
My friend also took a crap in the deep frying machine at KFC and left it there all day.
I used to work at this mom and pop video game store around here, this was before Gamestop rolled in, and we had this bathroom in the back of the store. The thing about it though, was that it has no working lock at all.
I worked with this overweight weeaboo girl, she only worked there as a way to fund her video game purchases, and practically sat around staring off into space while I dealt with the customers, since she would freeze up if she had to do anything other than stock shelves. Anyway, one day I came in earlier, and I ran to the back of the store to take a piss soon as I got there, never really got a chance to see if anyone else was here.
We had moments of accidentally walking on on each other before, since that's just bound to happen when you have a door that doesn't lock. This time though, when I walked in, I just see the girl I worked with, with her legs completely spread and her head back as she's masturbating. Her hand in this massive bush of dark pubes, and the entire room smelled like sh*t, so I guess she was doing that while she used the restroom.
I started apologizing and ran out of the store and came back 30 minutes later. She was gone, and I never saw her again. Apparently she quit.
never had a job.
never needed one.
family got off easy on a lawsuit
I used to manage a betting shop, and if I say you didn't get the odds you wanted, it means you did, but I just took the difference and put it in my pocket.
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
And boy people have lots of it!
Some people have it on the desktop in plain sight!
I used to work at this mom and pop video game store around here, this was before Gamestop rolled in, and we had this bathroom in the back of the store. The thing about it though, was that it has no working lock at all.
I worked with this overweight weeaboo girl, she only worked there as a way to fund her video game purchases, and practically sat around staring off into space while I dealt with the customers, since she would freeze up if she had to do anything other than stock shelves. Anyway, one day I came in earlier, and I ran to the back of the store to take a piss soon as I got there, never really got a chance to see if anyone else was here.
We had moments of accidentally walking on on each other before, since that's just bound to happen when you have a door that doesn't lock. This time though, when I walked in, I just see the girl I worked with, with her legs completely spread and her head back as she's masturbating. Her hand in this massive bush of dark pubes, and the entire room smelled like sh*t, so I guess she was doing that while she used the restroom.
I started apologizing and ran out of the store and came back 30 minutes later. She was gone, and I never saw her again. Apparently she quit.
Should have dated her. I hate when people give up an opportunity I would have loved.
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
Porn? On MY computer?
Anyone else do their job to the best of their ability and always strive for perfection?
I do this. At all my jobs. I am strange.
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
It's cool brah. If you can fix it, you can take the damn porn.
And boy people have lots of it!
Some people have it on the desktop in plain sight!
That's the boring sh*t.
Most people will hide certain porn (I.E. stuff they made themselves or fetish stuff). I don't believe even computer illiterate people risk putting really sick sh*t on their desktop.
That's the boring sh*t.
Most people will hide certain porn (I.E. stuff they made themselves or fetish stuff). I don't believe even computer illiterate people risk putting really sick sh*t on their desktop.
You can't find porn I don't have!
Not trying to de-rail your thread OP, but how was that job? The closest thing to my house is a Harkins Theater I visit constantly and I've considered getting a job there. I know it's a job for stoners and or high school students mostly but it pays the same as any other entry level sh*t and sounds easy as piss, right?
Basically. It's ridiculously easy, but mind-numbing work. You work with a bunch of HS dropouts and stoners. I actually got promoted to manager for a bit before I quit because I wasn't a total f**ktard.
Plus, free movies and food is always a nice perk. Oh, and getting to watch movies a week before they come out is pretty cool, too.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
Had sex with a psychiatric patient.
She was 23 and looked like Marilyn Monroe...because she thought she Marilyn Monroe.
Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again. And yes, this could have landed me in some deep sh*t.
That's the boring sh*t.
Most people will hide certain porn (I.E. stuff they made themselves or fetish stuff). I don't believe even computer illiterate people risk putting really sick sh*t on their desktop.
None of it is on a client PC at the house .. but the NFS root for the media server in the basement just has /porn as one of the subfolders.
When parents or other guests are over that we wouldn't want to see that when we fire up the TV, we just change it to /plumber
We're adults .. why hide the porn?
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
That f**k wanted to save money on the 20 cents worth of popping corn that he sells for $5.50? F**king hell.
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
OH NO SOMEONE WHO I DON'T KNOW AND HAS NO BEARING ON MY PERSONAL LIFE KNOWS THAT I FAP TO BUKKAKE
Basically. It's ridiculously easy, but mind-numbing work. You work with a bunch of HS dropouts and stoners. I actually got promoted to manager for a bit before I quit because I wasn't a total f**ktard.
Plus, free movies and food is always a nice perk. Oh, and getting to watch movies a week before they come out is pretty cool, too.
i like how being a "stoner" makes you less pathetic than being too dumb to finish school
Had sex with a psychiatric patient.
She was 23 and looked like Marilyn Monroe...because she thought she Marilyn Monroe.
Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again. And yes, this could have landed me in some deep sh*t.
>Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again.
Either Marilyn Monroe crazies are getting more common or I've seen you post about it.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
That's not even trolling, that's just being a complete dick. Jesus christ. I'd punch that employee in the face if I was that kid's dad then treat my son to some goddamn ice cream. That isn't even an ITG moment but pretty f**king reasonable.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
Should have kicked his f**king ass.
>Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again.
Either Marilyn Monroe crazies are getting more common or I've seen you post about it.
This, either that or anonymous has two psychiatric nurses.
Didn't he give her facebook as well?
Basically. It's ridiculously easy, but mind-numbing work. You work with a bunch of HS dropouts and stoners. I actually got promoted to manager for a bit before I quit because I wasn't a total f**ktard.
Plus, free movies and food is always a nice perk. Oh, and getting to watch movies a week before they come out is pretty cool, too.
Manager eh? How well did that pay?
Panera Bread
As you leave for the night, the fairy mexicans come in to bake all those sh*tty breads for the next day.
Mexicans only. You have to be a high schooler to take a job during the day.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
This, either that or anonymous has two psychiatric nurses.
Didn't he give her facebook as well?
That's the one I've heard.
This makes me wonder as I have a psychiatrist....hmmmmm. I think I know how to get laid.
That's the one I've heard.
This makes me wonder as I have a psychiatrist....hmmmmm. I think I know how to get laid.
My pschiatrist has a porsche convertable. I'd let him tap me.
You can't find porn I don't have!
oh good sir i so would beg to differ.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
If I were that kid's parent, I'd get that guy fired in two f**king seconds for that bullsh*t. I'd still punish my kid cause it's the correct parent thing to do (as much crazy sh*t as I do, kids still need restraints put on them), but that isn't just having a bit of fun at some schmuck's expense, that's just grade A a**holery.
This, either that or anonymous has two psychiatric nurses.
Didn't he give her facebook as well?
>Didn't he give her facebook as well?
That's how I contacted her. I never posted it.
My pschiatrist has a porsche convertable. I'd let him tap me.
you are the stereotype of what anonymous thinks all women are. Money grubbing wh**res.
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
>>danger of minors viewing porn
I loled
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
stale
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
>danger of minors viewing porn
Like what a**hole? Like being horny? Protip: when kids enter puberty, they start getting horny. They've been doing so since our species developed sexual organs.
you are the stereotype of what anonymous thinks all women are. Money grubbing wh**res.
Except I'm actually a man
>>danger of minors viewing porn
I loled
This, I've been viewing porn since I was 12 and I turned out fine.
>Didn't he give her facebook as well?
That's how I contacted her. I never posted it.
Two psychiatrists that got Marilyn Monroe impersonators and then contacted them through facebook?
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
>the danger of minors viewing porn
Oh dear, wouldn't want to corrupt the youth. They might end up on web, sh*t too late!
Except I'm actually a man
This, I've been viewing porn since I was 12 and I turned out fine.
gay dude then? Or just a manwh**re?
For people making out, are you really f**king surprised? Also, popcorn and hotdogs are incredibly cheap to make. In short, "fake and gay" aka you're trolling and you're doing a terrible job of it.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
For people making out, are you really f**king surprised? Also, popcorn and hotdogs are incredibly cheap to make. In short, "fake and gay" aka you're trolling and you're doing a terrible job of it.
What exactly does op have to gain?
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
>danger of minors viewing porn
Like what? I first started looking at porn when I was 10, and I haven't raped anyone or become a twisted sexual deviant.
>danger of minors viewing porn
Like what? I first started looking at porn when I was 10, and I haven't raped anyone or become a twisted sexual deviant.
>not a twisted sexual deviant
>on web
gay dude then? Or just a manwh**re?
I'm not gay, my psychiatrist is just hot and rich, so I'd let him f**k me.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
>get NO recognition when things go right
derp
I'm not gay, my psychiatrist is just hot and rich, so I'd let him f**k me.
So you're a manwh**re....and gay.
Panera Bread
As you leave for the night, the fairy mexicans come in to bake all those sh*tty breads for the next day.
Mexicans only. You have to be a high schooler to take a job during the day.
oooohhh oooh I want one, I like the pink onez :p
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
>If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
I'll keep that in mind if I post a large package that I don't want to get f**ked up.
Just because you're an immoral piece of sh*t who doesn't understand the danger of minors viewing porn, doesn't mean that everyone else is like you.
No seriously, you are either being a terrible troll or you are a moral f** too the max
I worked at large shipping firm. (Like UPS, FedEx, DHL...)
They overcharge your packages by adding an inch to all the dimensions of you package. Generally, this makes them about 3 dollars more profit per package. If it's a big package, they'll try and BS it into the oversized pricing, just cause they're greedy.
Had sex with a psychiatric patient.
She was 23 and looked like Marilyn Monroe...because she thought she Marilyn Monroe.
Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again. And yes, this could have landed me in some deep sh*t.
Please tell
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
Hello Radioshack, trying out the new viral marketing tactics on web, I see?
In retail stores if you steal something and the security sees you stealing its illegal for them to attempt to physically stop you.
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
Hey OP! I worked at one too, but I'm a projectionist.
When changing a bulb for most projectors, there is a high chance they'll explode. You wear hardhats and gloves for the small bulbs, but if you're changing an IMAX bulb, best get The Hurt Locker suit and not f**k it up.
Ha, I groped my ex girlfriend a few times when we went to go see Ponyo. It was a month after release though and only two other people were in the theater. They were sitting pretty far from us, but kids can be very perceptive and observant.
Hello Radioshack, trying out the new viral marketing tactics on web, I see?
Naw thats a report
its been posted before, in different words
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
I worked at large shipping firm. (Like UPS, FedEx, DHL...)
They overcharge your packages by adding an inch to all the dimensions of you package. Generally, this makes them about 3 dollars more profit per package. If it's a big package, they'll try and BS it into the oversized pricing, just cause they're greedy.
UPS must really suck.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
Bullsh*t, what's up with all these dumb trolls nowadays?
If they did that that boy would tell all his friends and his whole school and all schools that that school competed with and pretty much everybody would know not to get their computer fixed from geeksquad which would put all your coworkers out of a job and they would be reprimanded for bullsh*tting and ruining the business.
UPS must really suck.
UPS must really suck.
F**k, I actually prefer UPS to FedEX or USPS.
Hey OP! I worked at one too, but I'm a projectionist.
When changing a bulb for most projectors, there is a high chance they'll explode. You wear hardhats and gloves for the small bulbs, but if you're changing an IMAX bulb, best get The Hurt Locker suit and not f**k it up.
No sh*t .. short-arc xenon lamps are pressurized to something like 200atm.
In retail stores if you steal something and the security sees you stealing its illegal for them to attempt to physically stop you.
Not true at any place that hires security from a private security firm. Those boys are allowed to physically detain you until the real police arrive. If it's just in-house security, then yes, they can't legally hold you physically.
Bullsh*t, what's up with all these dumb trolls nowadays?
If they did that that boy would tell all his friends and his whole school and all schools that that school competed with and pretty much everybody would know not to get their computer fixed from geeksquad which would put all your coworkers out of a job and they would be reprimanded for bullsh*tting and ruining the business.
With metasploit, it's not hard to create an intentionally infected video (like .asf) file. Might be fun for trolling geeksquad.
No sh*t .. short-arc xenon lamps are pressurized to something like 200atm.
Hey OP! I worked at one too, but I'm a projectionist.
When changing a bulb for most projectors, there is a high chance they'll explode. You wear hardhats and gloves for the small bulbs, but if you're changing an IMAX bulb, best get The Hurt Locker suit and not f**k it up.
Do you deal with customers as a projectionist or is it all behind the scenes sh*t? I know most low level jobs have you all over the place.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
F**kin A, that makes me really mad. Do me a favor and cum in that coworkers food and/or drinks as often as you can from now on, k?
Not true at any place that hires security from a private security firm. Those boys are allowed to physically detain you until the real police arrive. If it's just in-house security, then yes, they can't legally hold you physically.
They can, but usually don't .. generally out of fear of lawsuits.
Every place I've worked retail there was a specific policy NOT to make ANY attempt to apprehend someone. Just observe and report.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
>>- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
This gave me a hearty lol. Ive sent pyramid shaped things through UPS, figure thatd be an odd shape to see.
I too worked in a theater for about half a year. At the time it was locally owned but a cinemarks bought it since. While working there
>We sort of did the "walks" but instead we'd just stand at the back and look around. Every show you could find at least 5 couples making out and a few more fooling around. Only found one used condom in theater. Never found anyone f**king but did find one girl giving a guy a handy. People will sneak in everything from beer to those at home microwaveable popcorn bags. Generally the people I worked with were all dicks and douches though, only one nice guy there. The manager was egotistical and a narcissist, but aren't they all. The owner routinely stole from his employees by shorting them on hours. Definitely a bad place to work at despite the free movies. Oh I guess I can say this though. It's not deep or profound but not a lot of people know it. A theater only keeps 10% of the ticket sale earnings for the first 2 weeks. The rest goes to the film company. After that each film company has a different policy but it usually goes up another 10% every week after up to 60-70%.
Hey OP! I worked at one too, but I'm a projectionist.
When changing a bulb for most projectors, there is a high chance they'll explode. You wear hardhats and gloves for the small bulbs, but if you're changing an IMAX bulb, best get The Hurt Locker suit and not f**k it up.
Trick, take a wet rag and throw it on the hot bulb. It will pop, all the gas on the inside will steam out but it won't explode.
I worked at a Flower Shop / Nursery + Crafts place (part of a chain) when i was 15 & 16 years old. I knew NOTHING about plants, & one of the co-workers who i spent a lot of time with there didn't either. But when we were outside helping customers (the best we could), there were timex when he would SERIOUSLY f**k with people.
This one time a woman came in w/a bag of dirt from her yard & asked him why she couldn't grow grass. "Is it tainted some how?"
He took the bag to the back of the store, let some time pass, & came back to her & said "The acid levels in this soil are WAY too high. You need to replace the outside of your house, & most likely the sheet rock on your walls." She believed him 100% and thanked him. It was horrible.
Another time a guy came up to us with one of the plants he were selling and asked when the plant would bloom. My co-worker took the plant, ate a leaf off of it, & said 'Late Fall.'
Also, i stole a f**king concrete fountain & put it in the back my 2 Door Chevy Cavalier & sold it to my neighbor for $2,000.
Worked in home remodeling and home construction. Not a lot I can say about it. Worked for an older guy, not a company. He was legit though. He never cut a single corner or took shortcuts. If he took the job, he'd make sure we did everything right and perfect.
The only secret I could really say is that if you ever have us over, or someone like us, company or not, if they say the need to go get a part/supplies at the store, we're really lying and just want an excuse to take a paid break and go get a coffee or something and kill some time.
Worked in home remodeling and home construction. Not a lot I can say about it. Worked for an older guy, not a company. He was legit though. He never cut a single corner or took shortcuts. If he took the job, he'd make sure we did everything right and perfect.
The only secret I could really say is that if you ever have us over, or someone like us, company or not, if they say the need to go get a part/supplies at the store, we're really lying and just want an excuse to take a paid break and go get a coffee or something and kill some time.
And they shouldn't feel guilty about that sh*t.
They deserve a paid break. As long as they don't come back sh*tfaced.
They turn the self checkout on at Wal*Mart for the overnights staff. When you come in in the morning for a quickie purchase, there's a pretty good chance they'll still be on.
Had sex with a psychiatric patient.
She was 23 and looked like Marilyn Monroe...because she thought she Marilyn Monroe.
Told this story before, can't be arsed typing it again. And yes, this could have landed me in some deep sh*t.
Hello, I believe you posted that story in the thread about psychiatric hospitals a few weeks ago?
They turn the self checkout on at Wal*Mart for the overnights staff. When you come in in the morning for a quickie purchase, there's a pretty good chance they'll still be on.
wut?
I do cryptanalysis for the government.
>If I told you anything about it they would somehow find out and then fire me. They have ways, man.
I do cryptanalysis for the government.
>If I told you anything about it they would somehow find out and then fire me. They have ways, man.
So can I get some time on that f**kawesome cluster you guys keep in the basement? I want to made some porn for 3DCG... with a tentacle monster and ray-tracing.
I do cryptanalysis for the government.
>If I told you anything about it they would somehow find out and then fire me. They have ways, man.
Is it like being Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse?
Worked in home remodeling and home construction. Not a lot I can say about it. Worked for an older guy, not a company. He was legit though. He never cut a single corner or took shortcuts. If he took the job, he'd make sure we did everything right and perfect.
The only secret I could really say is that if you ever have us over, or someone like us, company or not, if they say the need to go get a part/supplies at the store, we're really lying and just want an excuse to take a paid break and go get a coffee or something and kill some time.
My window fitter did the whole "oops I forgot a tool" quite often.
Didn't fool me for second but he did do a good job and he's a good man. Didn't want to go "you lazy f**k".
I used to work at burger king as a maintenance guy. Basically I just cleaned sh*t, took out garbage, etc. Quite a few times I would have to hop onto the food preparation board quickly, and I would never change my gloves, unless a manager was watching. I can't even begin to describe the filth that my gloves endured: and it all went onto your food.
So can I get some time on that f**kawesome cluster you guys keep in the basement? I want to made some porn for 3DCG... with a tentacle monster and ray-tracing.
It blew up, didn't you read that Dan Brown book?
Is it like being Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse?
I'm more like Alan Turing: gay and depressed. Unfortunately I'm not also a genius.
I used to work at burger king as a maintenance guy. Basically I just cleaned sh*t, took out garbage, etc. Quite a few times I would have to hop onto the food preparation board quickly, and I would never change my gloves, unless a manager was watching. I can't even begin to describe the filth that my gloves endured: and it all went onto your food.
I used to work at burger king as a maintenance guy. Basically I just cleaned sh*t, took out garbage, etc. Quite a few times I would have to hop onto the food preparation board quickly, and I would never change my gloves, unless a manager was watching. I can't even begin to describe the filth that my gloves endured: and it all went onto your food.
I used to work at burger king as a maintenance guy. Basically I just cleaned sh*t, took out garbage, etc. Quite a few times I would have to hop onto the food preparation board quickly, and I would never change my gloves, unless a manager was watching. I can't even begin to describe the filth that my gloves endured: and it all went onto your food.
Probably adds to the spicy taste
Work at Herman Miller, you'd be surprised at the kind of damage that we will accept and still pass the unit onto the customer. Basically, if we figure the customer won't see it, we pass it. Also, since we're basically the Apple of the furniture industry, we overprice the f**k out of our "artsy" sh*t. that 1500 dollar Aeron Chair costs us 300 bux to make.
Pic is a 1100 dollar chair that with my employee discount (cost only plus a 10 percent bonus) runs me 300 bux.
It's minor but I recently did some volunteer work in a charity shop here in the UK.
We mostly get clothes, books, films and toys, anything else goes in the bin. If any of the clothes have even the slightest stain or just a missing button, it gets binned.
One time we had reached the end of the day, and suddenly some guy came in saying he had been working with schools to collect things for local charities, he bought about 25 big bin bags through the door just before closing and so to save time the next morning, the manager told us to take home anything we wanted and throw the rest in the bin.
Out of 25 bin bags, we kept less than half a bin bag of kids clothes and the rest was emptied into trash bags, oh yeah, and I took home some soap which I still have.
Basically for an organisation which thrives off of peoples charity they waste an awful f**king lot
It's minor but I recently did some volunteer work in a charity shop here in the UK.
We mostly get clothes, books, films and toys, anything else goes in the bin. If any of the clothes have even the slightest stain or just a missing button, it gets binned.
One time we had reached the end of the day, and suddenly some guy came in saying he had been working with schools to collect things for local charities, he bought about 25 big bin bags through the door just before closing and so to save time the next morning, the manager told us to take home anything we wanted and throw the rest in the bin.
Out of 25 bin bags, we kept less than half a bin bag of kids clothes and the rest was emptied into trash bags, oh yeah, and I took home some soap which I still have.
Basically for an organisation which thrives off of peoples charity they waste an awful f**king lot
That's not much of a secret tbh
This was mentioned in a BBC programme about charity shops.
They couldn't keep half of the stuff because well.. who would want to buy sh*t with vomit on it?
That's not much of a secret tbh
This was mentioned in a BBC programme about charity shops.
They couldn't keep half of the stuff because well.. who would want to buy sh*t with vomit on it?
I never saw that but now that you mention it some bells are ringing.
f**k you
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
If a guy at Geek Squad tried to pull that sh*t to my son, I would have called him out on going through his personal files, and I would have done everything in my power to have that ni**er fired.
F**k that sh*t.
>danger of minors viewing porn
Like what a**hole? Like being horny? Protip: when kids enter puberty, they start getting horny. They've been doing so since our species developed sexual organs.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but I guess you have been trolled by this f**.
I would give my son a high five and some ice cream
Work at Herman Miller, you'd be surprised at the kind of damage that we will accept and still pass the unit onto the customer. Basically, if we figure the customer won't see it, we pass it. Also, since we're basically the Apple of the furniture industry, we overprice the f**k out of our "artsy" sh*t. that 1500 dollar Aeron Chair costs us 300 bux to make.
Pic is a 1100 dollar chair that with my employee discount (cost only plus a 10 percent bonus) runs me 300 bux.
The value of a good or service is not determined by its cost of production. A good chair costs over a thousand dollars because $1k per chair per employee is cheaper than defending yourself against a class-action lawsuit from your own employees over ergonomics. Sadly, nobody makes a chair as good as HM does. I've tried a lot and my Aeron continues to out-comfort my 8-hour-a-day ass than any other I've tried.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
I wouldn't doubt if your coworkers would have put trojans on customer's PCs or search for hidden passwords...
I used to work for a company that makes petfood in the UK.
You probably guessed this already but 'supermeat' flavour is made of about 96% horse meat, but we only state the 4% chicken that goes into it on the label because for some reason people are fine about feeding rabbit to their cats but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
I used to work for a company that makes petfood in the UK.
You probably guessed this already but 'supermeat' flavour is made of about 96% horse meat, but we only state the 4% chicken that goes into it on the label because for some reason people are fine about feeding rabbit to their cats but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
I've always wondered what horse tastes like. Now I know. It tastes like dog food.
I am a cashier in a major supermarket
Every time i give out a handful of change i short change it by 50 pence. No one ever checks their change. I make like 30GBP extra every day and there is nothing missing from the till.
Also i steal all the apparently 'broken' or 'damaged' food i.e. tins with dents in them that arn;t suitable for display, broken cookies etc. I never have to pay for food anymore
feels good man
I used to work for a company that makes petfood in the UK.
You probably guessed this already but 'supermeat' flavour is made of about 96% horse meat, but we only state the 4% chicken that goes into it on the label because for some reason people are fine about feeding rabbit to their cats but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
My cat eats anything in the wild. My other cat eats cheese and onion crisps.
Odd animals in their petfood isn't all bad.
I am a cashier in a major supermarket
Every time i give out a handful of change i short change it by 50 pence. No one ever checks their change. I make like 30GBP extra every day and there is nothing missing from the till.
Also i steal all the apparently 'broken' or 'damaged' food i.e. tins with dents in them that arn;t suitable for display, broken cookies etc. I never have to pay for food anymore
feels good man
i mean i make 30GBP from this method on top of my pay. It keeps up the weed payments
i mean i make 30GBP from this method on top of my pay. It keeps up the weed payments
I take a quick glance at my change most of the time. But since you're using the units of GBP rather than $, something tells me we won't cross paths.
I take a quick glance at my change most of the time. But since you're using the units of GBP rather than $, something tells me we won't cross paths.
Oh, since I'm posting in this thread I might as well contribute.
I've worked in a grocery store before, part of a large chain. I'm not claiming we were completely sterile or anything, but we never did gross sh*t like refuse to wash our hands before handling food. Sometimes if produce still looked good, we might change the date so we could continue to sell it longer but that's about it. Oh, and I stole a f**kload of grapes and strawberries from the cooler. I would only take one or two from each pack, so no one would really notice.
From my time at Panera: The healthy food that every woman seems to enjoy is usually over 1,000 calories and has more fat than McDonalds. The chicken in the Frontega and other paninis is basically raw.
Working maintenance at a hotel: Hotels are actually clean unless its staffing is f**king useless, employees do go in to your room when you're not there but it's not to creep on you, it's to do their job (clean, change lightbulbs, check AC units) and noone goes through your sh*t or else they're fired and have charges brought on them, and employees live in the vacant rooms.
Oh and Mexican women wash your linens.
Cashier at Superstore.
The only security we have is one guy in a room watching 100 tvs, all he does is drink coca cola and sit back. So steal away.
If you complain/bitch about anything you can probably get it for free
If you ask my how my days going I wont charge you for bags but if youre being a dick and talking away on your cell phone and then when I finish the order you ask for bags I'll charge you.
Buy a back pack and put small expensive things in the little pockets
We raise our prices on the Weekends
I work at a baseball stadium..
I don't use gloves unless I'm in view of customers
I drop food on the ground and pick it up
I use outdated food
I don't clean half as well as I should
I don't wash my hands after I piss
I serve the same people every game (Media Dining) and they love me, and my area, regardless of these issues. It's really kinda funny. The ones that tip a dollar every day I will usually go out of my way round the stadium to get what they want...Those who don't tip I just walk out of the room, around to the other entrance and tell them I couldn't find it.
From my time at Panera: The healthy food that every woman seems to enjoy is usually over 1,000 calories and has more fat than McDonalds. The chicken in the Frontega and other paninis is basically raw.
Working maintenance at a hotel: Hotels are actually clean unless its staffing is f**king useless, employees do go in to your room when you're not there but it's not to creep on you, it's to do their job (clean, change lightbulbs, check AC units) and noone goes through your sh*t or else they're fired and have charges brought on them, and employees live in the vacant rooms.
Oh and Mexican women wash your linens.
Hey, about the hotel stuff:
1) How often do people stay in their rooms in the middle of the day when they're cleaned? I usually have some computer work to do in the daytime and when the mexican woman comes in to clean I feel like I shouldn't be there, like I'm f**king with her job or something.
2) Why does the mexican woman not respect the do not disturb sign? I really need to sleep because they make me work until like 2 am.
Cashier at Superstore.
The only security we have is one guy in a room watching 100 tvs, all he does is drink coca cola and sit back. So steal away.
If you complain/bitch about anything you can probably get it for free
If you ask my how my days going I wont charge you for bags but if youre being a dick and talking away on your cell phone and then when I finish the order you ask for bags I'll charge you.
Buy a back pack and put small expensive things in the little pockets
We raise our prices on the Weekends
>charge for bags
What kind of store does that?
>charge for bags
What kind of store does that?
A smart one. Bags are 5 cents each I go through hundreds in a day.
Dont steal from Walmart. They accutally have security
Toy Store.
You're gonna have to give at least one of the guys a blowjob (in adviceance) if you even WANT a rare toy. We'll hold it for you if we think it's coming, but if it's on the list, and it doesn't come...at least the bj was good :)
I am a cashier in a major supermarket
Every time i give out a handful of change i short change it by 50 pence. No one ever checks their change. I make like 30GBP extra every day and there is nothing missing from the till.
Also i steal all the apparently 'broken' or 'damaged' food i.e. tins with dents in them that arn;t suitable for display, broken cookies etc. I never have to pay for food anymore
feels good man
Gold points? Like World of Warcraft? Your currency is like WOW.
Dont steal from Walmart. They accutally have security
I know someone who was an employee at Wal Mart. He stole a TV.
A smart one. Bags are 5 cents each I go through hundreds in a day.
Like the customer gives a f**k. If some a**hole store charged me for bags I'd just consider that a win for their competitors.
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
guy at walmart bought cheap ass sh*t thats like some sort of sewing bag or something
then he ripped the tag off something expensive (ie a 300$ sewing machine and would put its sticker on the cheapass bag he bought earlier, then he would go and return the bag, but with the expensive sewing machine tag on it, and make a sh*tload of money
I used to work for a company that makes petfood in the UK.
You probably guessed this already but 'supermeat' flavour is made of about 96% horse meat, but we only state the 4% chicken that goes into it on the label because for some reason people are fine about feeding rabbit to their cats but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
>>but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
What the f**k are you saying here? Christ, Goddamn britf**s can't even talk like humans.
A smart one. Bags are 5 cents each I go through hundreds in a day.
f**king aldi
>>but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
What the f**k are you saying here? Christ, Goddamn britf**s can't even talk like humans.
Shergar was a racehorse.
>>but the mere mention of Shergar and his chums has them running a mile.
What the f**k are you saying here? Christ, Goddamn britf**s can't even talk like humans.
Shergar was a prize winning race horse which was stolen and the body never found.
Work at Herman Miller, you'd be surprised at the kind of damage that we will accept and still pass the unit onto the customer. Basically, if we figure the customer won't see it, we pass it. Also, since we're basically the Apple of the furniture industry, we overprice the f**k out of our "artsy" sh*t. that 1500 dollar Aeron Chair costs us 300 bux to make.
Pic is a 1100 dollar chair that with my employee discount (cost only plus a 10 percent bonus) runs me 300 bux.
Sup, Grand Haven f**?
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water, he always drank wine.
His bridle was silver, his mane it was gold.
And the worth of his saddle has never been told.
Oh the fairgrounds were crowded, and Stewball was there
But the betting was heavy on the bay and the mare.
As they were approaching about half way around,
the grey mare she stumbled, and fell to the ground.
And a-way up yonder, ahead of them all,
Came a-prancin' and a-dancin' my noble Stewball.
I bet on the grey mare, I bet on the bay
If I'd have bet on ol' Stewball, I'd be a free man today.
Oh the hoot owl, she hollers, and the turtle dove moans.
I'm a poor boy in trouble, I'm a long way from home.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water,he always drank wine.
You kids are useless f**king employees. Clean your f**king acts up. Argh, you make me want to f**king rage at my own staffing tommorow incase any of you are among them.
You kids are useless f**king employees. Clean your f**king acts up. Argh, you make me want to f**king rage at my own staffing tommorow incase any of you are among them.
so what you're saying is, is that you're a raging homosexual?
You kids are useless f**king employees. Clean your f**king acts up. Argh, you make me want to f**king rage at my own staffing tommorow incase any of you are among them.
You kids are useless f**king employees. Clean your f**king acts up. Argh, you make me want to f**king rage at my own staffing tommorow incase any of you are among them.
This, thankgod I manage traders instead of these uncleanly, thieving bastards
Hey OP! I worked at one too, but I'm a projectionist.
When changing a bulb for most projectors, there is a high chance they'll explode. You wear hardhats and gloves for the small bulbs, but if you're changing an IMAX bulb, best get The Hurt Locker suit and not f**k it up.
bulbs only explode if they're hot and rattled. bulbs of any size are stable, cool or at room temperature. employees only need gloves and masks if they don't know how to wait for the bulb's heat to dissipate and can't figure out how to unplug the projector.
at my theater walk-throughs are unnecessary. instead we'd just watch select audience members suck whatever bodypart they're interested in (from the projector room) for the 90 minute duration of the film.
Steak and Potatoes
Run by people that have been in the country for a year, 2 years maybe.
The kitchen is disgusting.
The food is O.K
We're not up to health code standards AT F**KING ALL
and EVERYONE is getting paid under the table, and we charge extra 2 bucks for food then what's represented.
I give out free meals all the time, because this place sucks.
You kids are useless f**king employees. Clean your f**king acts up. Argh, you make me want to f**king rage at my own staffing tommorow incase any of you are among them.
wow youre so cool and straight edge
wow youre so cool and straight edge
He's making a good point.
He's just saying the douchebags that are purposely f**king sh*t up need to quit, But most of the people here are the good guys (ironically enough) and telling secrets.
I used to work for BCG
yeah we did all the same stuff with the garbage bags etc
the fun thing is when people asked me if it was real butter, and I told them the truth, and they'd get all pissed off at me
thank god they didn't ask about the nacho cheese. (huge tip: that's not real cheese either)
Work in restaurants and basicly make fun of every modification on that im told.
"Oh she doesnt want roasted garlic on her bruschetta"
"Oh she doesnt want to give her boyfriend garlic dick?"
*errbody laughs*
*continue working hard
Pretty lame I know.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
Sh*t bro I want a disney approved moustache.
>danger of minors viewing porn
Like what a**hole? Like being horny? Protip: when kids enter puberty, they start getting horny. They've been doing so since our species developed sexual organs.
Like what?
Like having views of sex and women so distorted that they end up making "bitches and wh**res" posts on anonymous.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
Continued...
Worked for KFC as my first job in high school, we deep fried f**king EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE. Plus we took one of the 3 gallon shortening containers and some pvc and turned it into a ketchup packet cannon by attacking the PVC to the opening with tape, stuffing it with a packet then stomping on the plastic shortening container. We peppered the adjacent restaurants and apartment buildings with our ketchup gun on a daily basis. We also would lock our cook in the freezer for ~30 minutes when he went in to get more chicken. Never took down old chicken, sometimes we would serve chicken that had been under the lamps for >12 hours. Oh and I rarely washed my hands.
Also did tech support for a texas ISP, when you're put on hold we are talking about how much of an a**hole you are. Also we desperately want to NOT be able to fix your problem and will often trick you into telling us you have a hardware/equipment failure when you dont so that we can send out a technician and get you off the phone. We also throw footballs back and forth in the call center while we are "helping" you and will get you to do things like go under the desk and check your connections/restart your computer, modem, and router so that we have a minute or two to not listen to you and talk/text/read/IM/youtube.
Hey hotel guise:
If I offered a maid a hundred bucks for a BJ, what would happen?
Work in restaurants and basicly make fun of every modification on that im told.
"Oh she doesnt want roasted garlic on her bruschetta"
"Oh she doesnt want to give her boyfriend garlic dick?"
*errbody laughs*
*continue working hard
Pretty lame I know.
>errbody
PLEASE JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN.
I work part-time at Sainsburys in the UK.
> If there is any flaw at all with a product you can probably get a decent discount at checkout.
> People have stolen TVs on more than one occasion by taking it out of one the rear exits. Most of the employees are half-retarded and don't ask questions.
> Fruit and veg crates are stacked up. If you take food from the bottom crate, it usually has an extra 3 or 4 days till its use by date than the product in the top crate.
> As long as a crate of fruit looks ok, we'll swap the use-by date for that crate.
> I've found caterpillars in salad packs 3 times.
I worked at Chili's.
The restaurant is super clean and the food is fresh (aside from some appetizers like the DELICIOUS SW EGGROLLS and the desserts).
Because all the dishes essentially have the same 6 ingredients, everything is fresh unlike other restaurants.
The baby back ribs are started first thing in the morning by the 6am opening crew and are smoked for 6 hours.
The only thing to remember is the food is very high in calories, fat and sodium. It is otherwise fresh and well made.
Chili's hires 'fresh faces' ie college students who have never waited tables before so cut us some motherf**king slack.
I've worked at 4 star restaurants after I left chilis and it was still the cleanest of them all.
If you ask for another ramekin of marinara sauce, we go back and ask the cooks for a ramekin or marijuana sauce. They never tire of this joke. I suspect they are smoking the dopes.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
One of those mustaches is a Hitlerstache, isn't it?
F**kin' Walt.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
No sh*t: 99% IT jobs that aren't sales-based will have beetards in them
I work at Jimmy Johns... If you eat here, you are wasting your money. You could make a sandwich that is 100% tastier and healthier.
I work at Kroger. The freezers for half of an aisle broke down and we couldn't get anyone in to fix it for two days. We kept the frozen food in shopping carts in the back room until they were fixed and just put them back on the shelves.
One of those mustaches is a Hitlerstache, isn't it?
F**kin' Walt.
Not quite, but extremely similar.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
>No one has ever died on Disney property
Cool story bro. Your managers lied to you. I lived in Kissimmee for years and it happened several times in the late 80s and early 90s.
OFten they die for unrelated reasons, i.e. heart attack, etc., but they have also died falling off the trams from the parking lot, etc.
lol so many little kids fall over dead in their rides its not even funny... but I still laughed at it. Also from the news it seems lots of disney workers are pedo's
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
So THAT'S what the Disney College Program thing actually is. I remember a few months ago, they were at my Uni trying to recruit kids to go down there. I actually know a girl who is a part of that right now.
Now I know why she doesn't like talking about it. Haha.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
People have died at the disney campground. I used to live in wh**relando as well. Miss it badly.
i like how being a "stoner" makes you less pathetic than being too dumb to finish school
>i like how being a "stoner" makes you less pathetic than being too dumb to finish school
You're a f**king tool
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
>box shaped like a ball
Uh yeah, I'll get right on that.
Garden center. I know litterally nothing about any plants im just there to make sure no one steals. Its pretty f**king sweet just sitting down undercover. Especially when its raining no one comes and I can just walk around and listen to the rain fall
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water, he always drank wine.
His bridle was silver, his mane it was gold.
And the worth of his saddle has never been told.
Oh the fairgrounds were crowded, and Stewball was there
But the betting was heavy on the bay and the mare.
As they were approaching about half way around,
the grey mare she stumbled, and fell to the ground.
And a-way up yonder, ahead of them all,
Came a-prancin' and a-dancin' my noble Stewball.
I bet on the grey mare, I bet on the bay
If I'd have bet on ol' Stewball, I'd be a free man today.
Oh the hoot owl, she hollers, and the turtle dove moans.
I'm a poor boy in trouble, I'm a long way from home.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water,he always drank wine.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water, he always drank wine.
His bridle was silver, his mane it was gold.
And the worth of his saddle has never been told.
Oh the fairgrounds were crowded, and Stewball was there
But the betting was heavy on the bay and the mare.
As they were approaching about half way around,
the grey mare she stumbled, and fell to the ground.
And a-way up yonder, ahead of them all,
Came a-prancin' and a-dancin' my noble Stewball.
I bet on the grey mare, I bet on the bay
If I'd have bet on ol' Stewball, I'd be a free man today.
Oh the hoot owl, she hollers, and the turtle dove moans.
I'm a poor boy in trouble, I'm a long way from home.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water,he always drank wine.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water, he always drank wine.
His bridle was silver, his mane it was gold.
And the worth of his saddle has never been told.
Oh the fairgrounds were crowded, and Stewball was there
But the betting was heavy on the bay and the mare.
As they were approaching about half way around,
the grey mare she stumbled, and fell to the ground.
And a-way up yonder, ahead of them all,
Came a-prancin' and a-dancin' my noble Stewball.
I bet on the grey mare, I bet on the bay
If I'd have bet on ol' Stewball, I'd be a free man today.
Oh the hoot owl, she hollers, and the turtle dove moans.
I'm a poor boy in trouble, I'm a long way from home.
Oh Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he were mine.
He never drank water,he always drank wine.
This song always makes me think it could be about an F1 car that won. The end doesn't work so well, but the bits at the start are a really nice metaphor.
Hey, about the hotel stuff:
1) How often do people stay in their rooms in the middle of the day when they're cleaned? I usually have some computer work to do in the daytime and when the mexican woman comes in to clean I feel like I shouldn't be there, like I'm f**king with her job or something.
2) Why does the mexican woman not respect the do not disturb sign? I really need to sleep because they make me work until like 2 am.
1. Not often, but your presence isn't a disturbance or anything. Honestly, it doesn't matter if you're there or not.
2. Because people put them up and forget about them. 90% of the time the do not disturb signs are hanging outside of vacant rooms
Hey hotel guise:
If I offered a maid a hundred bucks for a BJ, what would happen?
She would pocket it and walk out. The Mexican ladies don't usually speak English you f**king tool.
She would pocket it and walk out. The Mexican ladies don't usually speak English you f**king tool.
What if I asked her in Spanish?
I used to ref this 12-13yr old soccer league. It got really competitive. Because of this, parents would always get in the refs faces and yell at us if we penalized their spoiled-ass little boy.
So, one day, this really huge 13 year old kid (it looked like he was on f**king roids) was on a team that was down 6-0. This scrawny kid who probably got little to no playing time just passed the big guy and was getting ready to score. The large kid, runs up behind him, literally shoves the scrawny kid in the back, then yells in his face. I gave the big guy a red card, and as soon as I did, his dad came from the stands, and yelled at me for about ten minutes. We had to call the cops to get that f**ker off the field. This year, we now have the power to eject parents.
tl;dr- don't yell at the refs
ITT YOU'RE ALL F**KING LAZY AND BAD AT YOUR JOBS
THERES A REASON YOU ALL WORK IN SH*TTY JOBS
YOU'RE BAD AT THEM
What if I asked her in Spanish?
What if I asked her in Spanish?
Maybe. Try it and see
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incidents_at_Disney_parks
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
Any funny stories to tell?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incidents_at_Disney_parks
>In October 2006 at Disneyland Paris, amateur video was filmed showing Disney employees backstage, pantomiming various indecent acts while they were wearing their character costumes. The video clip[112] was later posted on various video-sharing websites, often using the term "mouse orgy."[113] In an official statement, Disney said "The video was taken in the backstage area not accessible to guests. Appropriate action has been taken to deal with the cast members involved."[114]
This is on the internet? brb assuming Disney hasn't removed it from existence.
>In October 2006 at Disneyland Paris, amateur video was filmed showing Disney employees backstage, pantomiming various indecent acts while they were wearing their character costumes. The video clip[112] was later posted on various video-sharing websites, often using the term "mouse orgy."[113] In an official statement, Disney said "The video was taken in the backstage area not accessible to guests. Appropriate action has been taken to deal with the cast members involved."[114]
This is on the internet? brb assuming Disney hasn't removed it from existence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W42cQx4HBk
Eh. Not that interesting.
I used to work at this mom and pop video game store around here, this was before Gamestop rolled in, and we had this bathroom in the back of the store. The thing about it though, was that it has no working lock at all.
I worked with this overweight weeaboo girl, she only worked there as a way to fund her video game purchases, and practically sat around staring off into space while I dealt with the customers, since she would freeze up if she had to do anything other than stock shelves. Anyway, one day I came in earlier, and I ran to the back of the store to take a piss soon as I got there, never really got a chance to see if anyone else was here.
We had moments of accidentally walking on on each other before, since that's just bound to happen when you have a door that doesn't lock. This time though, when I walked in, I just see the girl I worked with, with her legs completely spread and her head back as she's masturbating. Her hand in this massive bush of dark pubes, and the entire room smelled like sh*t, so I guess she was doing that while she used the restroom.
I started apologizing and ran out of the store and came back 30 minutes later. She was gone, and I never saw her again. Apparently she quit.
Taking a sh*t while masturbating, man that bitch is nasty.
I work part-time at Sainsburys in the UK.
> If there is any flaw at all with a product you can probably get a decent discount at checkout.
> People have stolen TVs on more than one occasion by taking it out of one the rear exits. Most of the employees are half-retarded and don't ask questions.
> Fruit and veg crates are stacked up. If you take food from the bottom crate, it usually has an extra 3 or 4 days till its use by date than the product in the top crate.
> As long as a crate of fruit looks ok, we'll swap the use-by date for that crate.
> I've found caterpillars in salad packs 3 times.
where abouts do you work?
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
You won't find mine, simply because I never hand over my PC to the PC shop.
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
I would high five buzz lightyear if his suit was still emitting cosmic radiation and an alien had taken a sh*t all over him. F**k you.
I worked at a Geek Squad, and I think I was the only ethical person on the entire staff. Even the female employees were absolute c**ts, who would sift through your computer for personal information.
This one time, some kid came in and wanted to get an upgrade on his computer so he could play newer video games. It was apparently his birthday, and he was overjoyed as he came in with my mother. I personally did most of the work on the computer, but I had to answer a personal call and one of my coworkers picked up the job. It was lunch after that, so he already finished the work on the computer.
Anyway, when they came back, the coworker gave the computer to the mother, and then went on to loudly say that they have a policy of telling parents when a minor has porn on the hard drive, which is complete bullsh*t. Apparently he spent 30 minutes searching through that kid's computer for porn, copying it to the little employee flash drive, and then told the mother just to be a dick.
The kid was in tears, and the mother was screaming at him. The worst part is, that this kind of sh*t wasn't uncommon, happens all the time at Geek Squads. If they don't try to humiliate an underage customer, then they just steal your porn and personal pictures.
I would slap your fa**ot co-worker. Do his f**king job, and get the f**k home. He isn't the f**king Porn police.
You won't find mine, simply because I never hand over my PC to the PC shop.
I gave my laptop to best buy once to fix a crack on the outside and when I got it back it had a bunch of software problems that didn't exist before. Well, namely, my system32 was apparently f**ked and I had to reformat. Never again will those a**holes touch my sh*t.
Oh, and I figured they'd look at my porn but I didn't give a sh*t because I went in alone, and all of it was just regular one man/one woman porn.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
I also broke my wrist and back working at UPS. They expected me to unload 1000 box per hour out of the truck.
r u serious ni**er?
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
GOOFY YOU SMOOTH MOTHERF**KER, HOW THE F**K ARE YOU?
God, I feel like I just ran into my best friend from middle school.
I used to ref this 12-13yr old soccer league. It got really competitive. Because of this, parents would always get in the refs faces and yell at us if we penalized their spoiled-ass little boy.
So, one day, this really huge 13 year old kid (it looked like he was on f**king roids) was on a team that was down 6-0. This scrawny kid who probably got little to no playing time just passed the big guy and was getting ready to score. The large kid, runs up behind him, literally shoves the scrawny kid in the back, then yells in his face. I gave the big guy a red card, and as soon as I did, his dad came from the stands, and yelled at me for about ten minutes. We had to call the cops to get that f**ker off the field. This year, we now have the power to eject parents.
tl;dr- don't yell at the refs
Holy sh*t dude, I wouldn't have your job for any amount of money. My little brother used to play youth-league soccer (before he started high school and so couldn't play school-league ball) and some of those parents are *intense* about little Jimmy's playing time. Do you carry mace or something? I seem to remember that the people where I lived did. Also, what's the age break-down? I remember the refs either being 17 or 45 :/
I worked at Chili's.
The restaurant is super clean and the food is fresh (aside from some appetizers like the DELICIOUS SW EGGROLLS and the desserts).
Because all the dishes essentially have the same 6 ingredients, everything is fresh unlike other restaurants.
The baby back ribs are started first thing in the morning by the 6am opening crew and are smoked for 6 hours.
The only thing to remember is the food is very high in calories, fat and sodium. It is otherwise fresh and well made.
Chili's hires 'fresh faces' ie college students who have never waited tables before so cut us some motherf**king slack.
I've worked at 4 star restaurants after I left chilis and it was still the cleanest of them all.
If you ask for another ramekin of marinara sauce, we go back and ask the cooks for a ramekin or marijuana sauce. They never tire of this joke. I suspect they are smoking the dopes.
I worked at Chili's.
The restaurant is super clean and the food is fresh (aside from some appetizers like the DELICIOUS SW EGGROLLS and the desserts).
Because all the dishes essentially have the same 6 ingredients, everything is fresh unlike other restaurants.
The baby back ribs are started first thing in the morning by the 6am opening crew and are smoked for 6 hours.
The only thing to remember is the food is very high in calories, fat and sodium. It is otherwise fresh and well made.
Chili's hires 'fresh faces' ie college students who have never waited tables before so cut us some motherf**king slack.
I've worked at 4 star restaurants after I left chilis and it was still the cleanest of them all.
If you ask for another ramekin of marinara sauce, we go back and ask the cooks for a ramekin or marijuana sauce. They never tire of this joke. I suspect they are smoking the dopes.
I worked at Chili's.
The restaurant is super clean and the food is fresh (aside from some appetizers like the DELICIOUS SW EGGROLLS and the desserts).
Because all the dishes essentially have the same 6 ingredients, everything is fresh unlike other restaurants.
The baby back ribs are started first thing in the morning by the 6am opening crew and are smoked for 6 hours.
The only thing to remember is the food is very high in calories, fat and sodium. It is otherwise fresh and well made.
Chili's hires 'fresh faces' ie college students who have never waited tables before so cut us some motherf**king slack.
I've worked at 4 star restaurants after I left chilis and it was still the cleanest of them all.
If you ask for another ramekin of marinara sauce, we go back and ask the cooks for a ramekin or marijuana sauce. They never tire of this joke. I suspect they are smoking the dopes.
Hey, man, how was Chili's? I'm thinking of getting a job there this summer. How did you like it? How difficult is it to get a job as a server?
Work at Herman Miller, you'd be surprised at the kind of damage that we will accept and still pass the unit onto the customer. Basically, if we figure the customer won't see it, we pass it. Also, since we're basically the Apple of the furniture industry, we overprice the f**k out of our "artsy" sh*t. that 1500 dollar Aeron Chair costs us 300 bux to make.
Pic is a 1100 dollar chair that with my employee discount (cost only plus a 10 percent bonus) runs me 300 bux.
Yeah I wouldn't go for a Herman Miller, much like I don't buy over priced Apple products.
It's minor but I recently did some volunteer work in a charity shop here in the UK.
We mostly get clothes, books, films and toys, anything else goes in the bin. If any of the clothes have even the slightest stain or just a missing button, it gets binned.
One time we had reached the end of the day, and suddenly some guy came in saying he had been working with schools to collect things for local charities, he bought about 25 big bin bags through the door just before closing and so to save time the next morning, the manager told us to take home anything we wanted and throw the rest in the bin.
Out of 25 bin bags, we kept less than half a bin bag of kids clothes and the rest was emptied into trash bags, oh yeah, and I took home some soap which I still have.
Basically for an organisation which thrives off of peoples charity they waste an awful f**king lot
>>thrives off of peoples charity they waste an awful f**king lot
Now I don't feel bad stealing a jean from the thrift store, not that I felt guilt in the first place.
I also broke my wrist and back working at UPS. They expected me to unload 1000 box per hour out of the truck.
r u serious ni**er?
set goats.cx as your desktop. that'll freak them out
The value of a good or service is not determined by its cost of production. A good chair costs over a thousand dollars because $1k per chair per employee is cheaper than defending yourself against a class-action lawsuit from your own employees over ergonomics. Sadly, nobody makes a chair as good as HM does. I've tried a lot and my Aeron continues to out-comfort my 8-hour-a-day ass than any other I've tried.
>>class-action lawsuit from your own employees over ergonomics.
I guess Americans are getting so f**king fat huh.
i mean i make 30GBP from this method on top of my pay. It keeps up the weed payments
I will spot you, then I'll kill you ni**er.
Oh yeah, I always look carefully at my change.
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
:O GOOFY!
Missed you, how've you been?
>Space Mountain
Main article: Space Mountain (Disneyland, Anaheim)
On August 14, 1979, a 31-year-old woman became ill after riding Space Mountain. At the unload area, she was unable to get out of the vehicle. Although employees told her to stay seated while the vehicle was removed from the track, other ride attendants did not understand that her vehicle was to be removed and sent her through the ride a second time. She arrived at the unloading zone semi-conscious. The victim was subsequently taken to Palm Harbor Hospital where she remained in a coma and died seven days later.
WHAT THE F**K DISNEY.
Librarian here,
9 times out of 10 we treat the books worse than you patrons do. Guess who pays for it.
If you have a fine and are nice about it, chances are we'll waive it for you. If you're a hardass, we'll just stick to our guns and make you pay.
We know exactly who is looking at porn and when. We just don't give enough of a f**k to make an issue out of it.
Everyone who works here will become misanthropic. No exceptions. We know what people read, and what they are willing to do to get out of paying for fines.
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
I was about to finger my ex gf in the theater when we were going out, but we got kicked out before it went that far. Ended up doing it outside behind some building anyways
Librarian here,
9 times out of 10 we treat the books worse than you patrons do. Guess who pays for it.
If you have a fine and are nice about it, chances are we'll waive it for you. If you're a hardass, we'll just stick to our guns and make you pay.
We know exactly who is looking at porn and when. We just don't give enough of a f**k to make an issue out of it.
Everyone who works here will become misanthropic. No exceptions. We know what people read, and what they are willing to do to get out of paying for fines.
Librarian, do you surf on youtube/facebook/web while you're at work? How do I get a job as a Librarian?
Work at a major mid-atlantic us grocery store as a cashier.
Go to any grocery store in a wealthy area after 8, you can get away with anything. For some reason, we sell new blu rays, just take them and walk out. Be nice in line and be white, I'll give you a discount. Talk on your cell, I'll put some extra weight on the scale for produce.
I work out a warehouse that ships out blankets/towels/sheets/ etc. to places like Dillards and Bed Bath and Beyond.
Always wash that sh*t after you buy it. It gets handled by a bunch of mexicans and pakistanis before its shipped to the store and we have absolutely no health code standards.
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
i was in the disney college program
I was a custodian and did my job 9000 times better then any of the other employees, it was single handily the best job i ever had. since all the other custodians were lazy as f**k i would bust my ass get nearly every item on my objective list done in around an hour and just drive around in my pargo/trashturck/deliverytruck what ever they gave me to drive for that day and listen to the radio/go offroading for the next 2-3 hrs come back do my rounds and repeat. I would also go out of my way and clean up the employee backstage smoking break areas b/c i did this other castmembers or employees would see this and give my department mangers notice. I constantly would be commended during every meeting for this. Anon is such a good worker etc. when in all actuality i only worked for 3 hrs a day and would sleep f**k around give guests rides to their rooms the rest. it is true we worked for peanuts but this was the best time of my life holy sh*t the amount of pu**y i got there was rediculous the first month or so there i got a blowjob there every single day i sh*t you not. i would constantly get free beer by picking up the cases guests left behind. I stole so much f**king merchandise it's honestly the easiest place on earth to steal from. i made nearly a grand every two months selling the disney trading pins online. i have nearly every disney dvd evar just for sh*ts. on my days off i would eat for free in the parks by lying and saying i dropped my food or something the food service castmembers are required to replace it free of charge if you do this as they cannot argue with "guests".
TLDR disney college program is the greatest sh*t evar
Librarian, do you surf on youtube/facebook/web while you're at work? How do I get a job as a Librarian?
I'm mostly in the stacks re-shelving books, so I don't get much computer time. Whenever I'm working up at the front desk or anything, the 15-25 year veterans are almost always there too, and they'll do anything to get a leg up on the ladder, so they rat out us grunts in a flash.
Getting a job as a librarian? Go straight up and ask if they're hiring. Try to look intelligent, reassure us you're not another mindless patron.
More secrets:
Depending on how your library operates, your library record has a sh*tload of your personal details in it. Name, address, phone number, place of school/work, SSN, etc. I've never capitalized on this (wouldn't know how to, anyway), but it's just another place your data is kept. We don't use any encryption at all.
If you're a regular, we remember. Especially entertaining when you stumble across "The Joy of Sex" as one of your holds.
GOOFY YOU SMOOTH MOTHERF**KER, HOW THE F**K ARE YOU?
God, I feel like I just ran into my best friend from middle school.
:O GOOFY!
Missed you, how've you been?
I'm good, but no longer a Disney employee, enjoying my last 3 weeks as a civilian.
Any funny stories to tell?
I have enough stories to fill several threads (and I have)
I would high five buzz lightyear if his suit was still emitting cosmic radiation and an alien had taken a sh*t all over him. F**k you.
Buzz Lightyear is the balls, man. Such a smooth motherf**ker.
The Buzz costume is worth about $30,000.
I'm mostly in the stacks re-shelving books, so I don't get much computer time. Whenever I'm working up at the front desk or anything, the 15-25 year veterans are almost always there too, and they'll do anything to get a leg up on the ladder, so they rat out us grunts in a flash.
Getting a job as a librarian? Go straight up and ask if they're hiring. Try to look intelligent, reassure us you're not another mindless patron.
More secrets:
Depending on how your library operates, your library record has a sh*tload of your personal details in it. Name, address, phone number, place of school/work, SSN, etc. I've never capitalized on this (wouldn't know how to, anyway), but it's just another place your data is kept. We don't use any encryption at all.
If you're a regular, we remember. Especially entertaining when you stumble across "The Joy of Sex" as one of your holds.
Oh you're a shelver. Shelvers don't last long, I seen them come and go. Most of them are high school / college kids.
Also, yes our library has a detailed database of the info, but I gave them my cell phone and mail box address, hahaha!
Overall the library is a cool place, and I like tons of books for free, using their computer for free and never paying a fine because I always bring it back on time.
I'm good, but no longer a Disney employee, enjoying my last 3 weeks as a civilian.
I have enough stories to fill several threads (and I have)
Buzz Lightyear is the balls, man. Such a smooth motherf**ker.
The Buzz costume is worth about $30,000.
You joined the military? Get famous and write a book.
Or just another thread. Goddamn, I love your threads.
>Space Mountain
Main article: Space Mountain (Disneyland, Anaheim)
On August 14, 1979, a 31-year-old woman became ill after riding Space Mountain. At the unload area, she was unable to get out of the vehicle. Although employees told her to stay seated while the vehicle was removed from the track, other ride attendants did not understand that her vehicle was to be removed and sent her through the ride a second time. She arrived at the unloading zone semi-conscious. The victim was subsequently taken to Palm Harbor Hospital where she remained in a coma and died seven days later.
WHAT THE F**K DISNEY.
How the f**k do you die on a Disney ride? Seriously, they have some of the tamest rides imaginable.
How the f**k do you die on a Disney ride? Seriously, they have some of the tamest rides imaginable.
You can die anywhere. It's not the ride that is the COD, it's just preceding medical or health problems, you just happen to be unlucky and die at that time.
i was in the disney college program
I was a custodian and did my job 9000 times better then any of the other employees, it was single handily the best job i ever had. since all the other custodians were lazy as f**k i would bust my ass get nearly every item on my objective list done in around an hour and just drive around in my pargo/trashturck/deliverytruck what ever they gave me to drive for that day and listen to the radio/go offroading for the next 2-3 hrs come back do my rounds and repeat. I would also go out of my way and clean up the employee backstage smoking break areas b/c i did this other castmembers or employees would see this and give my department mangers notice. I constantly would be commended during every meeting for this. Anon is such a good worker etc. when in all actuality i only worked for 3 hrs a day and would sleep f**k around give guests rides to their rooms the rest. it is true we worked for peanuts but this was the best time of my life holy sh*t the amount of pu**y i got there was rediculous the first month or so there i got a blowjob there every single day i sh*t you not. i would constantly get free beer by picking up the cases guests left behind. I stole so much f**king merchandise it's honestly the easiest place on earth to steal from. i made nearly a grand every two months selling the disney trading pins online. i have nearly every disney dvd evar just for sh*ts. on my days off i would eat for free in the parks by lying and saying i dropped my food or something the food service castmembers are required to replace it free of charge if you do this as they cannot argue with "guests".
TLDR disney college program is the greatest sh*t evar
ex disneyf** again
some of my friends were the costume characters one even got away with stealing the pluto head how he was able to accomplish this i'll never know. one of the lulziest repeating stories i heard is how they would freak out the little sh*ts that hugged er mostly f**ked with them ie kicked pulled on them. Per costumed character code these castmembers are not allowed to speak. so when one of the lil sh*ts would f**k with them er be a lil spoiled brat they would whisper the following in their ears as the rest of the family stepped back for a photo
"help me your the only one that can hear me speak"
"Goofy is gonna kill your family"
"Goofy hates you"
make soft roars etc
instant luls would ensue as the children would burst into tears the children
I'm a municipal go-fer for my local city. We deal with thousands of dollars every day. Still, there's no real way to steal any of that money due to extensive moralfa**otry. Which gets real annoying if you have a legitimate project that just needs to hurry up and get done.
ex disneyf** again
some of my friends were the costume characters one even got away with stealing the pluto head how he was able to accomplish this i'll never know. one of the lulziest repeating stories i heard is how they would freak out the little sh*ts that hugged er mostly f**ked with them ie kicked pulled on them. Per costumed character code these castmembers are not allowed to speak. so when one of the lil sh*ts would f**k with them er be a lil spoiled brat they would whisper the following in their ears as the rest of the family stepped back for a photo
"help me your the only one that can hear me speak"
"Goofy is gonna kill your family"
"Goofy hates you"
make soft roars etc
instant luls would ensue as the children would burst into tears the children
>the children would burst into tears the children
My dyslexia makes me say some crazy sh*t, but you just took it to the next level.
>the children would burst into tears the children
My dyslexia makes me say some crazy sh*t, but you just took it to the next level.
lol yeah right after i posted that i was like what the f**k did i just write?
i meant this
instant luls would ensue as the children would burst into tears
This is no surprise for most of you but I worked as a PC technician.
We can and will find your porn.
The last time I sent my PC in for repair (before I became a nerd), I collected some of my favorite porn and put it on the desktop in a folder labelled "porn for you". :3
Worked for my dad's alarm system company, not much memorable. I did bitch work for his two real employees during the summer. One was f**king smart as hell but sort of weird and I always felt bad when I f**ked up wiring something or had some problem. Other guy was alright, a bit slow so it was a better balance, him more knowledgeable but slower with solving problems, me didn't know too much except how to run wires and hook up fire alarms. Best part of the job is after everything gets hooked up the guy I worked for would have like two hours where I just sat around and did nothing and got paid for it.
F**k I need to get a job for this summer.
Reading that disney article scares me.
I went when I was 16 (yeah...). I went to the Paris one. Didn't really enjoy it much, I liked the little section of famous buildings made of lego.
Anyway I'm 21 this year. For the past 3 years I've had headaches a lot more often. Plus some other head/brain related incidents. Disney gave me a f**king tumour.
i was in the disney college program
I was a custodian and did my job 9000 times better then any of the other employees, it was single handily the best job i ever had. since all the other custodians were lazy as f**k i would bust my ass get nearly every item on my objective list done in around an hour and just drive around in my pargo/trashturck/deliverytruck what ever they gave me to drive for that day and listen to the radio/go offroading for the next 2-3 hrs come back do my rounds and repeat. I would also go out of my way and clean up the employee backstage smoking break areas b/c i did this other castmembers or employees would see this and give my department mangers notice. I constantly would be commended during every meeting for this. Anon is such a good worker etc. when in all actuality i only worked for 3 hrs a day and would sleep f**k around give guests rides to their rooms the rest. it is true we worked for peanuts but this was the best time of my life holy sh*t the amount of pu**y i got there was rediculous the first month or so there i got a blowjob there every single day i sh*t you not. i would constantly get free beer by picking up the cases guests left behind. I stole so much f**king merchandise it's honestly the easiest place on earth to steal from. i made nearly a grand every two months selling the disney trading pins online. i have nearly every disney dvd evar just for sh*ts. on my days off i would eat for free in the parks by lying and saying i dropped my food or something the food service castmembers are required to replace it free of charge if you do this as they cannot argue with "guests".
TLDR disney college program is the greatest sh*t evar
holy sh*t I was thinking about doing this. How can I get your job and get bj's and the like (I'm good looking and fit to get that question out of the way).
I work at a state park I cum in your trees.
I'm good, but no longer a Disney employee, enjoying my last 3 weeks as a civilian.
I have enough stories to fill several threads (and I have)
Buzz Lightyear is the balls, man. Such a smooth motherf**ker.
The Buzz costume is worth about $30,000.
GOOFY DID YOU JOIN THE MARINES? I HOPE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR CALLS YOU PFC GOOFY!
>the children would burst into tears the children
My dyslexia makes me say some crazy sh*t, but you just took it to the next level.
Former locksmith apprentice, guy charges $93 to "rekey the lock", meaning he changes the combination inside the lock and make 3-4 new keys for it. Total time: 15 minutes of work or so.
It would have been cheaper for the customer to buy a new lock ($40 perhaps), 15 minutes of installing the new lock (not that hard) and $2 per key if the customer wants to make new copies at the mall.
Savings = $60 or so.
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
Worked at disneyland.
Do NOT order the turkey legs.
The plates we use are barely cleaned..and super f**king greasy.
Also if you want an easy cushion job, join the army as a clerk. You just fill out paperworks and retire and get a pension for the rest of your life.
And no, you don't go to war.
I work at a large grocery store chain in California.
If you act like a bitch to us, we'll smash your chips, crush your bread, stick our thumbs in your meat/tomatos/etc.
When we do price checks, half the time we pull a price out of our asses.
We never wash our hands.
Produce guys sell weed in the parking lot.
When we're "checking on a product" in the back, we're usually back there burning time because the product is probably hidden away in some pallet full of product and we're too lazy to find it.
We have no security whatsoever, except for loss prevention guys who hang around the alcohol section. They dress up like normal people and look like they're shopping, it took me 3 months to figure out who they were. We have alcohol around the store on end-caps, though, and they don't ever check those. If you're going to steal something, go for it and don't look suspicious. Then buy something like a soda or cigarettes. Nobody will question you.
You can return anything. Even if you don't have a receipt, even if it was from another store, even if it was partially eaten or damaged. Just make sure to press the issue.
The expensive milk and the cheap milk are exactly the same. They ship in at the same time from the same truck, and are bottled/put into cartons from the same factory and with the same cows. There is no difference. If the store can make a profit from selling a gallon for $2.50, they'll sell the more expensive kind (same milk, different label) for $3.00 and make a larger profit.
That's all I can think of, now.
Former locksmith apprentice, guy charges $93 to "rekey the lock", meaning he changes the combination inside the lock and make 3-4 new keys for it. Total time: 15 minutes of work or so.
It would have been cheaper for the customer to buy a new lock ($40 perhaps), 15 minutes of installing the new lock (not that hard) and $2 per key if the customer wants to make new copies at the mall.
Savings = $60 or so.
You know, I've been thinking about becoming a locksmith. How hard is the training compared to the coolness of the things you learn how to do? Does the certification body do a good job of keeping up to date on the latest in locking technology? How would I go about setting up an apprenticeship? Do I go to a school, or do I have to call around and bug my local locksmiths?
I work at IBM
you cannot believe how much we f**k over other companies with contracts
We have a contract with China allowing workers to do our sh*t for about $40 a month
Whatever keeps progress flowing. No prob
Can we have a workplace secrets/funny story thread?
I used to work at Regal Cinemas as a crew member. I'd work concessions, box office, and as usher.
- We had to do "walks" twice during a movie. We walk up and down the aisles, making sure the movie looks alright, the theater isn't too hot/cold, making sure people weren't videotaping, etc. I don't know what it is, but almost every day I would catch a couple doing some nasty sh*t in a movie theater. I walked in on some black dude feeling up his girlfriend's tits, guys getting blowjobs, and guys eating out their girlfriends in the middle of a theater.
- When we closed, our theater's managers would tell us to just keep the leftover popcorn in garbage bags, and save them in the back. Then we would just stick it back in the popcorn popper the next day, to save money. We would pop up one or two fresh batches and mix it all up to make it seem fresh. Oh, and don't order our hotdogs, either.
- At least once a week I would find a used condom when I had to clean the parking lot before we opened.
What do movie theater workers do when they see girls giving BJ's?
Also if you want an easy cushion job, join the army as a clerk. You just fill out paperworks and retire and get a pension for the rest of your life.
And no, you don't go to war.
But it's boring as hell. I'd go for being a mechanic or something, at least then you get to work with your hands.
What do movie theater workers do when they see girls giving BJ's?
I would usually just tell them to knock it off.
Then I would tell all of my co-workers, and point them out as they would leave the theater. Then we would laugh.
I would usually just tell them to knock it off.
Then I would tell all of my co-workers, and point them out as they would leave the theater. Then we would laugh.
Why laugh? lol
I think it's pretty chill when my gf gives me head in a movie theater.
holy sh*t I was thinking about doing this. How can I get your job and get bj's and the like (I'm good looking and fit to get that question out of the way).
1. go to wdwcollegeprogram.com watch the video set up a phone interview
2. look in the paper see if a Representative is coming to your campus (this is how i was enrolled) listen to her presentation afterwards talk to him/her ask for an interview
i was hired that very day
going to be 100% honest custodial is the absolute best position they offer as long as you steer clear of the parks it is very easy to make your supervisor love you as 90% of the other custodial castmemebers are older people who have come out of retirement and just working just so they can take adviceantage of the benefits package. They are thus weak and if you help them out they will become a very good ally should you ever f**k something up or get caught doing something you shouldn't be doing ex i liked to go offroading around the contemporary hotel and the all star resort and was caught on more than one occasion . You physically break your back for these ppl and they verbally break their back for you
vagina is plentiful and easy the ratio of women to guys there is honestly around 7:1 also a great deal of the men there are gay
they work you like a dog 5-6 day work weeks but like i said you become tight with your supervisors you can call off often and get away with it
"On March 7, 1981, an 18-year-old man from Riverside, California was fatally stabbed with a knife during a fight in Tomorrowland. His family sued the park for US$60 million. The jury found the park negligent for not summoning outside medical help and awarded the family US$600,000.[29]"
Why the f**k would you start a knife fight in Disneyland, where hopes and dreams are born.
My old boss was a massive a**hole - one of those guys who tries to "connect with his team" and doesn't realise everyone thinks he's a douche.
I constantly f**ked around at work with this other guy, I'll write a list of my achievements:
-made someone vomit upon the first bite of their burger
-hid a cooked chicken pattie for ten hours and slipped it into a burger
-broke a $5000 toaster by stuffing random food into it
Pretty sure I cost that guy way more than he made from me, good times.
GOOFY DID YOU JOIN THE MARINES? I HOPE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR CALLS YOU PFC GOOFY!
Nope, Air Force, I got a sweet job as a linguist.
You joined the military? Get famous and write a book.
Or just another thread. Goddamn, I love your threads.
I leave for BMT in three weeks, I'll probably have one last thread next week or something.
>>How hard is the training compared to the coolness of the things you learn how to do?
Not that hard, I learned how to rekey locks, assemble locks, pick locks, install and uninstall locks. Just takes some practice and pretty easy.
>>Does the certification body do a good job of keeping up to date on the latest in locking technology?
I don't know.
>>How would I go about setting up an apprenticeship?
The locksmith fixed my lock (he was independent guy, running his own business) and I asked him if he is looking for apprentice, he said yes and then I was on.
>>Do I go to a school, or do I have to call around and bug my local locksmiths?
You can go to school but IMO it would be a waste of money, all you need to know can be found on the Internet, and practice.
It was kinda slow at first, I was 18 at the time and didn't drive, so I couldn't take his van and do my own independent work -- even ought he offered me a van when I got my full license.
I usually tagged along with him and did some work and he taught me a couple of cool stuff.
I was an apprentice for 6 months until I quit and joined the army.
"On March 7, 1981, an 18-year-old man from Riverside, California was fatally stabbed with a knife during a fight in Tomorrowland. His family sued the park for US$60 million. The jury found the park negligent for not summoning outside medical help and awarded the family US$600,000.[29]"
Why the f**k would you start a knife fight in Disneyland, where hopes and dreams are born.
Ni**ers stabbing each other? IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY IN THE FUTURE!
"On March 7, 1981, an 18-year-old man from Riverside, California was fatally stabbed with a knife during a fight in Tomorrowland. His family sued the park for US$60 million. The jury found the park negligent for not summoning outside medical help and awarded the family US$600,000.[29]"
Why the f**k would you start a knife fight in Disneyland, where hopes and dreams are born.
People fight in DLand all the time. I saw parents get into fights over things like the last princess dress, or who was in line to see me as Goofy first. Some people take fun really seriously :/
"On March 7, 1981, an 18-year-old man from Riverside, California was fatally stabbed with a knife during a fight in Tomorrowland. His family sued the park for US$60 million. The jury found the park negligent for not summoning outside medical help and awarded the family US$600,000.[29]"
Why the f**k would you start a knife fight in Disneyland, where hopes and dreams are born.
I'm sure that was a setup.
What's a little cut?, You can do this in Six Flags and sue. Just tell your friend to slice you a little, ask for help, if they don' tget the real cops and amberlamps, then you get monies :3
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
Worked at the "gamestop of the future" for a year. We lie to get you to buy something you don't need or to make our jobs easier, but you knew that. Also no one wants to help ni**ers. Their sense of entitlement is unbearable, especially when they bring in bins of f**ked up PS2 games and expect to get a fortune in trade-ins. We use our "right to refuse any trade for any purpose" on them for nothing. If you're an obnoxious weeaboo fa**ot we will humor you and encourage you to chat about your awful interests to lure you into purchasing an edge card or a bunch of pre-orders.
Worked at disneyworld for a few months. They're slave drivers. They have something called the "college program" the kids are called "CP's" (hehe) where they get college gets to work during their busy seasons for minimum wage and housing under the guise of an "internship" but they end up working 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts for peanuts. They hire about twice as many managers as they need to ensure everyone is adhering to "disney standards" at all times. They coach you on the proper "disney smile" before you get hired and have a week long orientation to learn all the ridiculous disney rules and regulations (no pointing with one finger, no using certain words like vomit or customer, no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches.) Also no one has ever died on disney property until a monorail crash last year, all persons who would've died (heart attack, stroke, etc) were taken off disney property before pronounced dead. Cont...
>no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches
hahahahah oh wow
Ni**ers stabbing each other? IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY IN THE FUTURE!
Go back to bee
People fight in DLand all the time. I saw parents get into fights over things like the last princess dress, or who was in line to see me as Goofy first. Some people take fun really seriously :/
Everyones stressed out to achieve the "perfect" vacation.
I work at a pharmacology lab. My boss is a crazy ass PhD who used to be a coke head. When i'm bored/ on break i get him to teach me how to make meth, crack, lsd, whatever and he tells me how to get the ingredients. This summer he told me i can use the RTPCR to engineer better weed to smoke. This is the best college internship I could have hoped for.
>no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches
hahahahah oh wow
They have rules about everything. Seriously. About how you can wear your hair (styles, length, color), what jewelry you can wear, what piercings you can have, the length and color (for girls) of your fingernails, the shoes you can wear (polish-able black leather), etc.
They are appearance Nazis.
Go back to bee
Everyones stressed out to achieve the "perfect" vacation.
They stress at work, stress when they get to go on vacation, they stress during vacation. Sounds like an American value to me.
I work in a pet store, some of the stuff that goes on here makes me want to cry. When we have a "junk animal", one that doesn't sell for two months my boss takes it to the landfill to kill it because euthanizing is too expensive and he doesn't want to waste food on it when it'll probably never be sold.
I f**king hate my job.
>no facial hair except 2 disney approved moustaches
hahahahah oh wow
yeah that was one of the more rediculous aspects. wdw are nazis when it comes to facial hair especially when your a furry one such as me with a 5 o'clock shadow, on my longer shifts i'd have to shave not just that morning but in the middle of my shift as well
In retail stores if you steal something and the security sees you stealing its illegal for them to attempt to physically stop you.
Truth. Worked at a Meijer and we were told that if someone stole something it was illegal for us to try and stop them. Some lady ran out of the store with a f**k lot of cigarettes once.
They have rules about everything. Seriously. About how you can wear your hair (styles, length, color), what jewelry you can wear, what piercings you can have, the length and color (for girls) of your fingernails, the shoes you can wear (polish-able black leather), etc.
They are appearance Nazis.
goofy is right also one cannot have visible tattoos of any sort such as those on your arms
They have rules about everything. Seriously. About how you can wear your hair (styles, length, color), what jewelry you can wear, what piercings you can have, the length and color (for girls) of your fingernails, the shoes you can wear (polish-able black leather), etc.
They are appearance Nazis.
holy sh*t goofy is that really you?
Dude you had some sick threads. Can you post the pic of that storage room with all of the costumes and goofy head in it?
>Drug dealer
>I kill people all the time
Pretty funny, right?
They stress at work, stress when they get to go on vacation, they stress during vacation. Sounds like an American value to me.
They stress at work, stress when they get to go on vacation, they stress during vacation. Sounds like an American value to me.
Sadly it is.
But they can't help it.
If you're ignorant enough to still think money is happiness at the age of 4 kids, a divorce, and a housewife, there's no hope for you.
Which is 90% of America.
Oh what a consumer country we are. Doing are job, getting stressed.
holy sh*t goofy is that really you?
Dude you had some sick threads. Can you post the pic of that storage room with all of the costumes and goofy head in it?
Yeah, it's really me. I'll get around to making a thread in a week or so.
goofy is right also one cannot have visible tattoos of any sort such as those on your arms
Yeah, if you have tattoos that can be seen if you're wearing a t-shirt and shorts, they won't hire you. They'll SOMETIMES make exceptions, like if you agree to only wear long sleeves, or if you work as a character and nobody will ever see your arms anyways.
They have rules about everything. Seriously. About how you can wear your hair (styles, length, color), what jewelry you can wear, what piercings you can have, the length and color (for girls) of your fingernails, the shoes you can wear (polish-able black leather), etc.
They are appearance Nazis.
They have rules about everything. Seriously. About how you can wear your hair (styles, length, color), what jewelry you can wear, what piercings you can have, the length and color (for girls) of your fingernails, the shoes you can wear (polish-able black leather), etc.
They are appearance Nazis.
he's right, they're total a**holes about appearances...actually..they're total nazis about EVERY F**KING THING.
Apparently, it ruins "the show"
Entertainment people are supposed to keep a certain weight.
We can't point with one finger since it's offensive to some culture. All disney employees do a two finger point.
Simple grocery store bagger here. If a customer does something that inconveniences me (getting >$200 of groceries when i'm the only one on the floor, double paper bags please!, those god damn bring your own bags that slow down bagging by like 60%) I won't be as careful with separating groceries and may go into "put sh*t in bags" mode. But no matter how hard someone pisses me off, I'm not mean enough to squish their bread under something. Also, if you are any sort of attractive, you will be checked out extensively by the whole front line as you walk away.
I work in a pet store, some of the stuff that goes on here makes me want to cry. When we have a "junk animal", one that doesn't sell for two months my boss takes it to the landfill to kill it because euthanizing is too expensive and he doesn't want to waste food on it when it'll probably never be sold.
I f**king hate my job.
Ouch. What other stuff happens there?
I used to be a coach at Westlake,
I f**king hate the kids there,
SNOBBY SONS OF BITCHES
I stole some money from the football department and left around 3-4 years ago
If you're going to use roids to have a winning streak of 74 games, retaliation must set foot.
he's right, they're total a**holes about appearances...actually..they're total nazis about EVERY F**KING THING.
Apparently, it ruins "the show"
Entertainment people are supposed to keep a certain weight.
We can't point with one finger since it's offensive to some culture. All disney employees do a two finger point.
its been 5 years since my internship and i still do the f**king disney point its a habit i can't break
he's right, they're total a**holes about appearances...actually..they're total nazis about EVERY F**KING THING.
Apparently, it ruins "the show"
Entertainment people are supposed to keep a certain weight.
We can't point with one finger since it's offensive to some culture. All disney employees do a two finger point.
We don't have to keep a specific weight, per se, but they'll start pulling your costume approvals if you get too fat. It makes sense, though, you have to work pretty hard to get fatter when you're sweating your ass off every day in those costumes. Also it wouldn't really make much sense to have 50 of your people approved to play Goofy who are fairly thin/fit and then have a couple fatties, it wouldn't work continuity-wise. They want EVERY picture taken with ANY Goofy to look as similar as possible. Obvious differences like one dude being 50 lbs heavier is not good.
I used to work night shift at a UPS sorting center loading up the package cars. Funny stories probably won't be funny unless you were working there, but I can tell you a few things.
- Fragile stickers are useless, every second box has one and nobody pays attention to them.
- Those "shockwatch" stickers? Everyone hits them to set them off, so don't be surprised. You have to find things to amuse you when you're grinding through boxes at 3 am.
- If you want your box to be treated well make it stand out in some way. Best thing that ever came through was a box painted up to look like a companion cube, it got the royal treatment all the way through and made the whole shift funnier.
- If you want to troll UPS, pack your stuff in box shaped like a ball.
- If you work hard and bust your ass at UPS for 10 years you might eventually get into supervising. Which means you get blamed for everything that goes wrong, and get recognition when things go right. If you bust your ass for another 8 years they might reward you by making you manager of the sorting center in f**king Winnipeg like a certain tool who was supervisor where I worked.
>sorting center in f**king Winnipeg
Hey, what's wrong with Winnipeg?
Aside from the crime and poverty, it's a damn nice city.
YES! Another theatre f**.
Doorman here, Carmike Cinemas is all sorts of balls.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
>sorting center in f**king Winnipeg
Hey, what's wrong with Winnipeg?
Aside from the crime and poverty, it's a damn nice city.
Haiti? what's wrong with Haiti?
Besides the Crime, Poverty, and debris it's a damn nice country.
Simple grocery store bagger here. If a customer does something that inconveniences me (getting >$200 of groceries when i'm the only one on the floor, double paper bags please!, those god damn bring your own bags that slow down bagging by like 60%) I won't be as careful with separating groceries and may go into "put sh*t in bags" mode. But no matter how hard someone pisses me off, I'm not mean enough to squish their bread under something. Also, if you are any sort of attractive, you will be checked out extensively by the whole front line as you walk away.
Ouch. What other stuff happens there?
double paper is total sh*t, hate when i had to do that.
also hated when you'd ask them "paper or plastic?" but they'd just f**king ignore you until you've bagged half of their groceries in plastic and say HEY I WANT PAPER
god damn it i'm glad i don't work as a bagger anymore
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
>iTunes
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
So you're receptionist / coffee fetcher and possibly f**k toy?
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
Background education?
I work in a pet store, some of the stuff that goes on here makes me want to cry. When we have a "junk animal", one that doesn't sell for two months my boss takes it to the landfill to kill it because euthanizing is too expensive and he doesn't want to waste food on it when it'll probably never be sold.
I f**king hate my job.
address and store location please.
SURPRISING SECRET
most Disney characters fall into one of two groups:
- 20-something college kids with performing arts/choir/drama backgrounds
- old people who have been doing it forever.
We're not pedophiles
There are no cooling systems inside the costumes
We are not allowed to push you away if you start punching us
Aaaaaand it's really nasty how many people are willing to high-five and shake the hands of the characters considering the number of little kids who cough/sneeze/vomit on their hands then touch us.
not goofy
-there are a lot of people who actually take the disney job "seriously" especially the security people.
don't f**k with them
double paper is total sh*t, hate when i had to do that.
also hated when you'd ask them "paper or plastic?" but they'd just f**king ignore you until you've bagged half of their groceries in plastic and say HEY I WANT PAPER
god damn it i'm glad i don't work as a bagger anymore
The best part is seeing the kind of people that frequent the store. Our most common customers are obese white guy that eats a whole Haagen Dazs ice cream inside the store, obese white woman that yells a lot and smells like cheese, and feeble old woman with osteoarthritis/porosis that buys a sh*tload of groceries but can never carry them. Also, I've learned that black people love weird parts of pork and birds, while asians love weird ass seafood.
>sorting center in f**king Winnipeg
Hey, what's wrong with Winnipeg?
Aside from the crime and poverty, it's a damn nice city.
Bro, Winnipeg f**king sucks on all levels compared to every other major Canadian city except maybe Saskatoon. I can't wait until I get the hell out of here.
I work at Jimmy Johns... If you eat here, you are wasting your money. You could make a sandwich that is 100% tastier and healthier.
how do i make that f**king tuna salad. It's f**king amazing
not goofy
-there are a lot of people who actually take the disney job "seriously" especially the security people.
don't f**k with them
It is me, fa**ot.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
HOW DO I GET A JOB LIKE THIS?
What are the qualifications? I f**king wish I could twitter bullsh*t all day.
So you're receptionist / coffee fetcher and possibly f**k toy?
Background education?
I have no college education. I have a GED. I've been with this senator for 11 years kissing his ass.
I have my own secretary :)
It is me, fa**ot.
yes we all know you're a skinny pos. now die.
It is me, fa**ot.
yes we all know you're a skinny pos. now die.
FFFUFUFU
you guys should...mootblocks
ARCHIVE THIS THREAD
http://webarchive.org/
I'm sure that was a setup.
What's a little cut?, You can do this in Six Flags and sue. Just tell your friend to slice you a little, ask for help, if they don' tget the real cops and amberlamps, then you get monies :3
learn2readingcomprehension
article says >an 18-year-old man from Riverside, California was fatally stabbed
It is me, fa**ot.
hey goofy, you're still waiting for some military/navey or w/e branch it was that you were in?
first time you don't post in my disney thread.
FFFUFUFU
Oh dear god why do you have that saved
>Space Mountain
Main article: Space Mountain (Disneyland, Anaheim)
On August 14, 1979, a 31-year-old woman became ill after riding Space Mountain. At the unload area, she was unable to get out of the vehicle. Although employees told her to stay seated while the vehicle was removed from the track, other ride attendants did not understand that her vehicle was to be removed and sent her through the ride a second time. She arrived at the unloading zone semi-conscious. The victim was subsequently taken to Palm Harbor Hospital where she remained in a coma and died seven days later.
WHAT THE F**K DISNEY.
>and sent her through the ride a second time.
That bitch got to ride twice? What a lucky f**king wh**re.
Oh dear god why do you have that saved
i'm a click away from posting u shaking your junk
and 1 rage post away from posting ur c**k
DONT TEMPT ME MOTHERF**KER.
not goofy
-there are a lot of people who actually take the disney job "seriously" especially the security people.
don't f**k with them
when i was at the all star resort i befriended alot of the security from working night shifts 98% of these ppl are retired cops it's very true DO NOT f**k with these ppl especially when a vast majority of them are personal friends or former members of the orange county police force the very district which is called when problems arise
i'm a click away from posting u shaking your junk
and 1 rage post away from posting ur c**k
DONT TEMPT ME MOTHERF**KER.
You've never seen my junk.
Stop crossposting from tinychat :(
It is me, fa**ot.
GOOFY!
You need to go work for Disney again. Please. PLEASE
i was in the disney college program
I was a custodian and did my job 9000 times better then any of the other employees, it was single handily the best job i ever had. since all the other custodians were lazy as f**k i would bust my ass get nearly every item on my objective list done in around an hour and just drive around in my pargo/trashturck/deliverytruck what ever they gave me to drive for that day and listen to the radio/go offroading for the next 2-3 hrs come back do my rounds and repeat. I would also go out of my way and clean up the employee backstage smoking break areas b/c i did this other castmembers or employees would see this and give my department mangers notice. I constantly would be commended during every meeting for this. Anon is such a good worker etc. when in all actuality i only worked for 3 hrs a day and would sleep f**k around give guests rides to their rooms the rest. it is true we worked for peanuts but this was the best time of my life holy sh*t the amount of pu**y i got there was rediculous the first month or so there i got a blowjob there every single day i sh*t you not. i would constantly get free beer by picking up the cases guests left behind. I stole so much f**king merchandise it's honestly the easiest place on earth to steal from. i made nearly a grand every two months selling the disney trading pins online. i have nearly every disney dvd evar just for sh*ts. on my days off i would eat for free in the parks by lying and saying i dropped my food or something the food service castmembers are required to replace it free of charge if you do this as they cannot argue with "guests".
TLDR disney college program is the greatest sh*t evar
i was in the disney college program
I was a custodian and did my job 9000 times better then any of the other employees, it was single handily the best job i ever had. since all the other custodians were lazy as f**k i would bust my ass get nearly every item on my objective list done in around an hour and just drive around in my pargo/trashturck/deliverytruck what ever they gave me to drive for that day and listen to the radio/go offroading for the next 2-3 hrs come back do my rounds and repeat. I would also go out of my way and clean up the employee backstage smoking break areas b/c i did this other castmembers or employees would see this and give my department mangers notice. I constantly would be commended during every meeting for this. Anon is such a good worker etc. when in all actuality i only worked for 3 hrs a day and would sleep f**k around give guests rides to their rooms the rest. it is true we worked for peanuts but this was the best time of my life holy sh*t the amount of pu**y i got there was rediculous the first month or so there i got a blowjob there every single day i sh*t you not. i would constantly get free beer by picking up the cases guests left behind. I stole so much f**king merchandise it's honestly the easiest place on earth to steal from. i made nearly a grand every two months selling the disney trading pins online. i have nearly every disney dvd evar just for sh*ts. on my days off i would eat for free in the parks by lying and saying i dropped my food or something the food service castmembers are required to replace it free of charge if you do this as they cannot argue with "guests".
TLDR disney college program is the greatest sh*t evar
holy sh*t I was thinking about doing this. How can I get your job and get bj's and the like (I'm good looking and fit to get that question out of the way).
holy sh*t I was thinking about doing this. How can I get your job and get bj's and the like (I'm good looking and fit to get that question out of the way).
Some of this disney stuff seems unbelievable to me, kind of sketchy.
He's exaggerating and it's not as cool as you think.
There is no way you got away with that much sh*t, at least not in disneyland.
Some of this disney stuff seems unbelievable to me, kind of sketchy.
He's exaggerating and it's not as cool as you think.
There is no way you got away with that much sh*t, at least not in disneyland.
everything i have posted sir has been trufax and no this is wdw not wdl
I work at gamestop too. Worked at Electronic Boutique as well before the takeover and name change.
If you bring in a lot of games to trade, and if ANY of them look good, I might "forget" to ring it up on trade and pocket it. It doesn't come out of store inventory since obviously it was never entered so there's no fallback. Honestly half of my gaming collection today is stole stuff from people, and when we took DVD's I got SO MANY because of you a**holes who brought in 100+ movies in a duffel bag or whatever you ni**ers use.
Again, I'm only nice to you to get you to preorder/buy magazine sh*t.
Need to return something but lost your receipt or its past the receipt date? If you're nice to me I don't give a sh*t and let you get something else.
Oh, and if you get >1 quarters in change, I don't give you one. I can rack up around 3-5 extra bucks if I'm lucky and its a long shift. If I'm caught doing this, it's not a big deal since I'll just say I dropped it and give it to you then. Yeah, it's not much but that's a meal in between my shift.
The kids are annoying, old people/parents aren't so bad. I'll shut off the in store game consoles so people cant play them and then say they're broken, or if they can't figure out what to do I'll say the system has been breaking down a lot and I don't know how to fix it blahblahblah.
If you call my store looking for a game I'll probably count to 10 and say we don't have it so I don't have to look for it.
I work at home depot.
You can pretty much steal anything. All the cameras aren't watched and no one gives a f**k.
I told my manager once someone was stealing..he said.."we can't deal with that right now"..
Make sure spider wraps/rfid tags aren't on there..everything else is easy as f**k to steal.
I have no college education. I have a GED. I've been with this senator for 11 years kissing his ass.
I have my own secretary :)
I see, you got connections / hookups. Are you the senator's gay love toy?
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
I work at home depot.
You can pretty much steal anything. All the cameras aren't watched and no one gives a f**k.
I told my manager once someone was stealing..he said.."we can't deal with that right now"..
Make sure spider wraps/rfid tags aren't on there..everything else is easy as f**k to steal.
i work at lowes. same goes for lowes... we got like 10 camera's in that giant f**king store. its ridiculous. and 1 lp guy. Also, Jimmy johnson won 4 nascar cups in a row(i am completly disinterested in nascar just in case you trolls wanna have a go at me) and every employee got this gay little hardback book chronicling his rise to "glory". what does your home depot sh*t driver say about thAT?" also kobalt tools are bomb.
It is me, fa**ot.
Hey Goofy, you ship for Basic yet?
I work at gamestop too. Worked at Electronic Boutique as well before the takeover and name change.
If you bring in a lot of games to trade, and if ANY of them look good, I might "forget" to ring it up on trade and pocket it. It doesn't come out of store inventory since obviously it was never entered so there's no fallback. Honestly half of my gaming collection today is stole stuff from people, and when we took DVD's I got SO MANY because of you a**holes who brought in 100+ movies in a duffel bag or whatever you ni**ers use.
Again, I'm only nice to you to get you to preorder/buy magazine sh*t.
Need to return something but lost your receipt or its past the receipt date? If you're nice to me I don't give a sh*t and let you get something else.
Oh, and if you get >1 quarters in change, I don't give you one. I can rack up around 3-5 extra bucks if I'm lucky and its a long shift. If I'm caught doing this, it's not a big deal since I'll just say I dropped it and give it to you then. Yeah, it's not much but that's a meal in between my shift.
The kids are annoying, old people/parents aren't so bad. I'll shut off the in store game consoles so people cant play them and then say they're broken, or if they can't figure out what to do I'll say the system has been breaking down a lot and I don't know how to fix it blahblahblah.
If you call my store looking for a game I'll probably count to 10 and say we don't have it so I don't have to look for it.
>>Again, I'm only nice to you to get you to preorder/buy magazine sh*t.
LOL, I never pre-order, buy magazines, or buy game warranties from EB.
I work at Bed Bath and Beyond in a predominately Jewish area of Ohio, some of those people really adhere to that moneyhungry jew stereotype. My job has made me anti semetic.
We have a no hassle return policy. If we sell it, bring it back even without the receipt and you'll get credit for it. Even if its 5 years old or some sh*t.
Nothing happens here. Ever, but i still work hard. :/
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
>>if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
What difference does it make, does the slut suck your c**k?
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
I work the admissions office at a high tier university with a 20% acceptance rate.
If your essay is boring, you're not getting in.
If your GPA is low but you have a good SAT/ACT, you will actually be considered. Not so much the other way around. You can change grades but you can't change brains.
If we're not sure about accepting you, and set up and interview, if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
What's an interesting essay? Do you guys like/eat up baaaw stories?
Should I make a hook or a first interesting line?
>>Again, I'm only nice to you to get you to preorder/buy magazine sh*t.
LOL, I never pre-order, buy magazines, or buy game warranties from EB.
That's fine with me. I don't care what they do. Most morons and parents get them. 17-30 don't.
Hey Goofy, you ship for Basic yet?
I ship on May 4th.
I ship on May 4th.
That sucks, brah, but you'll be coming to Monterey, correct?
If everything works in my favor, I might see your goofy ass (no pun intended?) here.
I'll let you know I know you by some clever means.
I work at Bed Bath and Beyond in a predominately Jewish area of Ohio, some of those people really adhere to that moneyhungry jew stereotype. My job has made me anti semetic.
We have a no hassle return policy. If we sell it, bring it back even without the receipt and you'll get credit for it. Even if its 5 years old or some sh*t.
Nothing happens here. Ever, but i still work hard. :/
>I work at Bed Bath and Beyond in a predominately Jewish area of Ohio
>We have a no hassle return policy. If we sell it, bring it back even without the receipt and you'll get credit for it. Even if its 5 years old or some sh*t.
That's suicidal. Enjoy being jewed.
That sucks, brah, but you'll be coming to Monterey, correct?
If everything works in my favor, I might see your goofy ass (no pun intended?) here.
I'll let you know I know you by some clever means.
Yeah, I get 8-10 weeks in Texas then up to DLI in Monterey. I'll be confined to base for the first couple months but eventually I'll be able to go on leave.
Also if you want an easy cushion job, join the army as a clerk. You just fill out paperworks and retire and get a pension for the rest of your life.
And no, you don't go to war.
42F represent
42F represent
I was going to say GODDAMN POGUES
but I'm in the Chairforce.
I was going to say GODDAMN POGUES
but I'm in the Chairforce.
Hey, at least we get BRM.
Before they added two weeks to it, I understand the actual combat training portion of Air Force BCT consisted of giving you a rifle and letting you hold it for a while.
Also, it depends a log on your unit. 42s in the 82nd Airborne are still pretty high speed mofos.
Hey, at least we get BRM.
Before they added two weeks to it, I understand the actual combat training portion of Air Force BCT consisted of giving you a rifle and letting you hold it for a while.
Also, it depends a log on your unit. 42s in the 82nd Airborne are still pretty high speed mofos.
F**k your high speed low drag, we have Reaper drones
:D
I was going to say GODDAMN POGUES
but I'm in the Chairforce.
here.
Hey, at least we get BRM.
Before they added two weeks to it, I understand the actual combat training portion of Air Force BCT consisted of giving you a rifle and letting you hold it for a while.
Also, it depends a log on your unit. 42s in the 82nd Airborne are still pretty high speed mofos.
I'm off to bed, actually. Good luck in the Air Force, bro. Good choice for a job, and also, don't let people tell you your job is gay.
Alright, it may be gay, but any job in the military is pretty much the same amount of gay as well.
>>if you're good looking, you will be accepted. If you're ugly, you better be f**king charming.
What difference does it make, does the slut suck your c**k?
No. Between 10 qualified applicants and 5 spaces left in the freshman class, we would rather have 5 attractive people on campus. That simple.
What's an interesting essay? Do you guys like/eat up baaaw stories?
Should I make a hook or a first interesting line?
Don't do a baww story because that will make our mood sh*tty for your decision. An interesting essay is something you could actually read. Use a hook, sure, why not.
This thread is so depressing, working retail sucks sh*t.
I need to find a job but I honestly hate working at the kind of soul sucking boring ass places where I'd be able to actually get hired.
Fuuuuuuu
i work at lowes. same goes for lowes... we got like 10 camera's in that giant f**king store. its ridiculous. and 1 lp guy. Also, Jimmy johnson won 4 nascar cups in a row(i am completly disinterested in nascar just in case you trolls wanna have a go at me) and every employee got this gay little hardback book chronicling his rise to "glory". what does your home depot sh*t driver say about thAT?" also kobalt tools are bomb.
i work at lowes. same goes for lowes... we got like 10 camera's in that giant f**king store. its ridiculous. and 1 lp guy. Also, Jimmy johnson won 4 nascar cups in a row(i am completly disinterested in nascar just in case you trolls wanna have a go at me) and every employee got this gay little hardback book chronicling his rise to "glory". what does your home depot sh*t driver say about thAT?" also kobalt tools are bomb.
I have no idea what nascar has ANYTHING to do with home depot or construction..it's f**king retarded.
Also, all the women are ugly, fat, or lesbian.
all the men are mexican and or retarded.
the dumbasses all work in construction.
NO ONE watches you and you can get away with a lot if your coworkers don't care..
some people go to their car and sleep for an hour or two during work..XD
I break into people's houses, take the money from beneath their mattresses, sell all their jewelry and laptops and ipods, take a beer from the fridge now and then. Sometimes I'll pet their dogs and give them a treat before I leave.
Best job I ever had. More effort = more reward, and I don't have to work with/answer to any a**holes.
No. Between 10 qualified applicants and 5 spaces left in the freshman class, we would rather have 5 attractive people on campus. That simple.
Don't do a baww story because that will make our mood sh*tty for your decision. An interesting essay is something you could actually read. Use a hook, sure, why not.
No. Between 10 qualified applicants and 5 spaces left in the freshman class, we would rather have 5 attractive people on campus. That simple.
Don't do a baww story because that will make our mood sh*tty for your decision. An interesting essay is something you could actually read. Use a hook, sure, why not.
what the f**k is an interesting story?
for ex, my friend is viet..they escaped from the veitnam war and bombings and sh*t..
is that interesting or is that a baw story?
Superstore cashier here again.
Dont ask me where things are I'll just look up and read what the ailes sign say. And dont f**king expect me to do your shopping for you
When buying things in bulk the price is going to be the same. You chopping a head of lettuce in half is still going to be the same price as a full head of lettuce.
I usually bullsh*t my way outta having to deal with your sh*tty problems
Also all you f**king people that come in at 10PM to do your massive amounts of grocery shopping piss all of us off. We really hate it when you say "I cant shop when its busy".
All the hot cashiers have children and are dumb as f**k.
Superstore cashier here again.
Dont ask me where things are I'll just look up and read what the ailes sign say. And dont f**king expect me to do your shopping for you
When buying things in bulk the price is going to be the same. You chopping a head of lettuce in half is still going to be the same price as a full head of lettuce.
I usually bullsh*t my way outta having to deal with your sh*tty problems
Also all you f**king people that come in at 10PM to do your massive amounts of grocery shopping piss all of us off. We really hate it when you say "I cant shop when its busy".
All the hot cashiers have children and are dumb as f**k.
>When buying things in bulk the price is going to be the same. You chopping a head of lettuce in half is still going to be the same price as a full head of lettuce.
That is a retarded analogy, and you are wrong. There are plenty of companies that offer discounts to bulk buyers.
>Also all you f**king people that come in at 10PM to do your massive amounts of grocery shopping piss all of us off.
Why do you give a flying f**k when I buy my groceries? Bitch more.
I break into people's houses, take the money from beneath their mattresses, sell all their jewelry and laptops and ipods, take a beer from the fridge now and then. Sometimes I'll pet their dogs and give them a treat before I leave.
Best job I ever had. More effort = more reward, and I don't have to work with/answer to any a**holes.
Good for you but you'll face jail time one day. Becareful.
Don't tip the waitress c**t and piss them off. Yay.
Good for you but you'll face jail time one day. Becareful.
At least I'm not a wage slave who gets treated like sh*t every day anymore. I feel free.
I do work for an internationally known Senator's office. I cannot tell you the downtime I have. My idle time? web, AIM, texting, shopping online, iTunes, et cetera. I do nothing. And I'm almost constantly with my representative.
I fly back and forth between my state, DC, the Caribbean for R&R, various dinners - speaking engagements all over the US. My position consists of twittering, managing three different texting numbers, and five different phone lines - at any given time. The beauty of this? I never have to f**king respond :3
Life's good. Your Senator enjoys your tax dollars. Sushi is delicious. Thanks.
>internationally known Senator
So is John McCain a cool dude?
I fingered my gf in a theatre while kissing her neck and making out with her. There was one guy sitting behind us ( one of those creepy lonely guys that go to movies by themselves) and I figured i was giving him some serious fap material. Felt good man.
I work at gamestop too. Worked at Electronic Boutique as well before the takeover and name change.
If you bring in a lot of games to trade, and if ANY of them look good, I might "forget" to ring it up on trade and pocket it. It doesn't come out of store inventory since obviously it was never entered so there's no fallback. Honestly half of my gaming collection today is stole stuff from people, and when we took DVD's I got SO MANY because of you a**holes who brought in 100+ movies in a duffel bag or whatever you ni**ers use.
Again, I'm only nice to you to get you to preorder/buy magazine sh*t.
Need to return something but lost your receipt or its past the receipt date? If you're nice to me I don't give a sh*t and let you get something else.
Oh, and if you get >1 quarters in change, I don't give you one. I can rack up around 3-5 extra bucks if I'm lucky and its a long shift. If I'm caught doing this, it's not a big deal since I'll just say I dropped it and give it to you then. Yeah, it's not much but that's a meal in between my shift.
The kids are annoying, old people/parents aren't so bad. I'll shut off the in store game consoles so people cant play them and then say they're broken, or if they can't figure out what to do I'll say the system has been breaking down a lot and I don't know how to fix it blahblahblah.
If you call my store looking for a game I'll probably count to 10 and say we don't have it so I don't have to look for it.
f**k i was in ebgames and the guy said that too me
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