Saturday, August 14, 2010

Being leaned on by a suicidal person

Last Wednesday, a sort-of friend of mine called me and said she wanted to hang out. I was stunned- we worked on a project a few semesters ago, but we never really "hung out" other than having eaten lunch a few times. For the past year we have been acquaintances in the most fleeting sense of the word. I would greet her and playfully tease her in the halls, but usually she would acknowledge me only with exasperated grunts/sighs and annoyed glances. I thought she disliked me a good deal, but it didn't bug me. She's the most shy, socially inept person I know and I can't imagine how long she stared at her phone before she called me. First things first, she's gay and she knows that I know she's gay.
My gut reaction was that her few friends had all moved off campus and I was her only social contact left. I tried to get her to come out and meet a few of my social circles, but she was reluctant to do anything. In fact, I think she was actively avoiding getting other people involved. She even "had trouble finding me" at a show in the quad despite my clear description of my location. She offered to get lunch, so we did and we talked for a good 1.5 hours. I contributed literally 99.9% of the dialogue, but she insisted that her silence did not stem from boredom or a desire for me to leave. In trying to get her to open up a bit, I mentioned how several years ago I was depressed, suicidal, and institutionalized and that I hated the mental hospital with a passion. It didn't come across as weird- I'm one of the happiest, social, well-adjusted people on campus so it was very obvious that I'm way past all that.
So I had my suspicions now. I'm a pretty cool guy, but not cool enough to "turn" someone. She had already admitted that something was bothering her but that she didn't feel she could tell me what it was just yet.




Well, it turns out she's suicidal. Last night she left a somewhat unsettling message on my phone- it was something along the lines of "You've been so nice, I'm sorry I've burdened you with my problems, goodbye". I immediately thought it sounded like a suicide note, but I didn't think she was suicidal just yet. I mean, we barely know each other. Why would she be leaving ME a message like that?
I talked to her about it the next day and jokingly said that if she stuck "goodbye, world" at the end, it would be a textbook suicide note. Turns out that she had been pacing around the 10th story of a building when she made the call, debating whether or not to jump. F**k me for being right. She said that she hadn't told anyone, not her family or friends. I encouraged her to do so.
Here's what I don't get: she DOES have two close friends that I know of who live somewhat nearby and that she sees almost every day. They live off campus, but their group is very tight-knit. I spoke to one of her friends and expressed my concern- let's call her Amy. Amy told me that she noticed the depression/loneliness as well, but that this was actually a pretty frequent occurrence. Amy also confirmed that there was at least one specific thing causing the depression, but that it was not her place to reveal that to me. I had gathered as much in my dialogues with our friend, but while she admitted to there being such a problem, she didn't want to tell me what it was.
I have trouble believing that she would tell ME about her suicidal thoughts and not tell her close friends. Maybe it's because I already revealed to her that I was in a similar situation, so she feels some sort of kinship with me. Maybe it's because she thinks her friends would go right to her parents and the police. Maybe it's because she knows my feelings on mental hospitals and is confident that I wouldn't reveal any information that would get her sent to one.

Sex her. Have such mind-blowingly good sex that all her depression fades away in the rush of dopamine and endorphins. F**k her happy.
Save a life through sex. That is your mission.

She's reaching out to someone familiar enough to be comfortable around, but not enough to know her problems.
It's on you to help her out, but be warned, it's probably going to be a long-term thing and your patience will be tested.

OP, hope you read my post.
Do what you have to.

It can be really relieving to tell all your problems to someone who doesn't know you at all. You can spin the story any way you want and get them to think what you want them to think without them knowing the rest of the situation, and you don't have to deal with the embarrassment of having your best friends know all your dark secrets.

Sex her. Have such mind-blowingly good sex that all her depression fades away in the rush of dopamine and endorphins. F**k her happy.
Save a life through sex. That is your mission.

She no like-a the penis
She's reaching out to someone familiar enough to be comfortable around, but not enough to know her problems.
It's on you to help her out, but be warned, it's probably going to be a long-term thing and your patience will be tested.

Part of me wishes I could just pass this one off to the shrinks, but I absolutely reject the notion of mental hospitals being effective and I can't help but see my past self when I look at her.
I feel kind of like a huge workload has just been dumped in front of me. My reward for being sociable and

It can be really relieving to tell all your problems to someone who doesn't know you at all. You can spin the story any way you want and get them to think what you want them to think without them knowing the rest of the situation, and you don't have to deal with the embarrassment of having your best friends know all your dark secrets.

She's reaching out to someone familiar enough to be comfortable around, but not enough to know her problems.
It's on you to help her out, but be warned, it's probably going to be a long-term thing and your patience will be tested.

These two have it right. Being slightly depressed myself, I've done the same thing. The person I reached out to most when I felt the worst was not in my close group of friends.


She no like-a the penis

Part of me wishes I could just pass this one off to the shrinks, but I absolutely reject the notion of mental hospitals being effective and I can't help but see my past self when I look at her.
I feel kind of like a huge workload has just been dumped in front of me. My reward for being sociable and

What are you thinking of doing about it?

She's reaching out to someone familiar enough to be comfortable around, but not enough to know her problems.
It's on you to help her out, but be warned, it's probably going to be a long-term thing and your patience will be tested.

> It's on you to help her out
no
no it's not
op can only do what an untrained person can do, which is encourage her toward counselling and seeking help
she cannot rely on him for her strength, else he could get drawn into her neurosis and become sick again himself
she doesn't necessarily need to be hospitalised at the moment but she is at high risk and if op takes full responsibility for her, yet she still an heros, it could destroy him
op needs to speak to a camp counselor himself and state that he knows this girl is at high risk, it's their job to deal with it from there
she may be really angry at him, but she' already irrational so that anger will just be part of that
nobody should have to carry that kind of burden, especially when she has a family and doctors who should have picked up on this ages ago

no smiley, srs bznz



These two have it right. Being slightly depressed myself, I've done the same thing. The person I reached out to most when I felt the worst was not in my close group of friends.

ETA, I mean they are right in explaining her reasons for talking to him rather than others.
They aren't right in saying OP needs to take responsibility for her.


> It's on you to help her out
no
no it's not
op can only do what an untrained person can do, which is encourage her toward counselling and seeking help
she cannot rely on him for her strength, else he could get drawn into her neurosis and become sick again himself
she doesn't necessarily need to be hospitalised at the moment but she is at high risk and if op takes full responsibility for her, yet she still an heros, it could destroy him
op needs to speak to a camp counselor himself and state that he knows this girl is at high risk, it's their job to deal with it from there
she may be really angry at him, but she' already irrational so that anger will just be part of that
nobody should have to carry that kind of burden, especially when she has a family and doctors who should have picked up on this ages ago

no smiley, srs bznz

Ah, forgive me if you're not familiar with that phrase.
It's up to the OP to do what he wants, but this sounds like a text-book case of attention-seeking.

OP, you can be her friend. You can be her confidante. You can get her drunk, make a pass, and then both regret it for a while. You cam turn and run away from the crazy girl before you get involved, and let her blame you for something she does in reaction to that. You can do nothing and just build a wall of awkward between the two of you.
But. Oh, but. Unless your name ends in PhD and she pays you, you're not going to fix or even change a goddamned thing.
Make the most of what you've got, then, but for the sake of everyone involved, don't make any more of it.
Do have a good time, though. Be a good friend and enjoy the company of a good friend.


What are you thinking of doing about it?

There isn't really anything I -can- do. I'm encouraging her to get a new therapist because she said that her current one doesn't make her feel very comfortable, but she doesn't want to inconvenience her family by asking for another. She's also afraid to take antidepressants- she has never taken any pharmaceutical medication and has so far only taken holistic remedies. Her parents would let her take antidepressants, but they'd leave the decision up to her. Other than that, I'm just trying to give her some social interaction, keep her laughing and smiling, and provide what support and adviceice I can. Otherwise I try to take her mind off of it.
>op can only do what an untrained person can do, which is encourage her toward counselling and seeking help


Ah, forgive me if you're not familiar with that phrase.
It's up to the OP to do what he wants, but this sounds like a text-book case of attention-seeking.

perhaps something was lost in translation, and unfortunately i haven't read that text book on 'attention seeking' either i'm afraid
but if a girl tells me she was pacing the roof deciding to jump before she phoned me, faker or no - i tell someone who is trained to deal with mental health problems so that the pressure isn't on me to sort it out
especially if i have a history of problems with mental health and am dealing with the normal high-stress environment of college
if op allows her to lean on him, then he's enabling this delusional young miss to continue on in unhealthy patterns instead of being confronted with her self as she should

again, no avi

ahem, cont
>op can only do what an untrained person can do, which is encourage her toward counselling and seeking help
Pretty much. I went through the whole depression/suicidal thing, but to be honest it's all pretty hazy. I think I've blocked a lot of it out.
>she cannot rely on him for her strength, else he could get drawn into her neurosis and become sick again himself
While I can be relied on generally, I think this is too much. I'm definitely not at risk of being suicidal again, to be honest I'm the happiest person I know.
>she doesn't necessarily need to be hospitalised at the moment but she is at high risk and if op takes full responsibility for her, yet she still an heros, it could destroy him
It absolutely would destroy me, and I would probably dive headfirst into my studies for several months as a coping mechanism.

Girls will do the _craziest_ sh*t for attention!
It's like they can metabolize it or something.
Bitch, the good Lord created cheeseburgers and steak and food for us to eat, have you some! Don't cry to me about your ex, he's long gone!

OP, you can be her friend. You can be her confidante. You can get her drunk, make a pass, and then both regret it for a while. You cam turn and run away from the crazy girl before you get involved, and let her blame you for something she does in reaction to that. You can do nothing and just build a wall of awkward between the two of you.
But. Oh, but. Unless your name ends in PhD and she pays you, you're not going to fix or even change a goddamned thing.
Make the most of what you've got, then, but for the sake of everyone involved, don't make any more of it.
Do have a good time, though. Be a good friend and enjoy the company of a good friend.

Don't even f**king go there. I was mentally prodded and poked by PhDs for two years and they didn't fix a damn thing, they just made it worse. They taught me how to say exactly what they wanted to hear, how to play their system to escape their total control over my life. All they accomplished was to make me despise their methods so much as to outsmart their psychobabble and regain some measure of freedom. That's why my relapse a few months after hospitalization was so damaging- they hadn't fixed anything, just taught me to bottle it up even better.
What DID help was medication, friends, and willpower. The friends I made didn't know about my situation, but they helped just by being around and making me feel valuable.

ahem, cont
>op can only do what an untrained person can do, which is encourage her toward counselling and seeking help
Pretty much. I went through the whole depression/suicidal thing, but to be honest it's all pretty hazy. I think I've blocked a lot of it out.
>she cannot rely on him for her strength, else he could get drawn into her neurosis and become sick again himself
While I can be relied on generally, I think this is too much. I'm definitely not at risk of being suicidal again, to be honest I'm the happiest person I know.
>she doesn't necessarily need to be hospitalised at the moment but she is at high risk and if op takes full responsibility for her, yet she still an heros, it could destroy him
It absolutely would destroy me, and I would probably dive headfirst into my studies for several months as a coping mechanism.

> I think this is too much
i'm sorry if you thought this was a personal insult, it wasn't intended as such - yet i would argue that the strain of propping up someone who relies neither on professional help or prescribed medication, but instead leans on sympathetic folk and 'holistic' medicines, yet still ends up on a rooftop every once in a while could make even the happiest bunny rabbit tear their hair out
and if there is any chance at all that she might trigger some dark reaction in you, then you need to back off for your own safety


perhaps something was lost in translation, and unfortunately i haven't read that text book on 'attention seeking' either i'm afraid
but if a girl tells me she was pacing the roof deciding to jump before she phoned me, faker or no - i tell someone who is trained to deal with mental health problems so that the pressure isn't on me to sort it out
especially if i have a history of problems with mental health and am dealing with the normal high-stress environment of college
if op allows her to lean on him, then he's enabling this delusional young miss to continue on in unhealthy patterns instead of being confronted with her self as she should

again, no avi

I have definitely entertained the notion that this is attention-seeking behavior and that she wouldn't actually go through with it. I told her in a very straightforward manner that I have encountered people in the past who use my fear and sympathy to milk me for attention, but that she doesn't need to do that because I enjoy her company and am perfectly willing to be a real, legitimate friend who spends time with her because she's a fun person, not because he's afraid she'll kill herself if she doesn't.


> I think this is too much
i'm sorry if you thought this was a personal insult, it wasn't intended as such - yet i would argue that the strain of propping up someone who relies neither on professional help or prescribed medication, but instead leans on sympathetic folk and 'holistic' medicines, yet still ends up on a rooftop every once in a while could make even the happiest bunny rabbit tear their hair out
and if there is any chance at all that she might trigger some dark reaction in you, then you need to back off for your own safety

I'd help her find a new, effective therapist even if I have to do all the research myself, and I'm positive I can convince her to start antidepressants. Still, part of me wants to send her to the mental hospital despite my contempt for it. At the very least, they can keep her from killing herself, even if they f**k with her head. That's not something I can provide.


Don't even f**king go there. I was mentally prodded and poked by PhDs for two years and they didn't fix a damn thing, they just made it worse. They taught me how to say exactly what they wanted to hear, how to play their system to escape their total control over my life. All they accomplished was to make me despise their methods so much as to outsmart their psychobabble and regain some measure of freedom. That's why my relapse a few months after hospitalization was so damaging- they hadn't fixed anything, just taught me to bottle it up even better.
What DID help was medication, friends, and willpower. The friends I made didn't know about my situation, but they helped just by being around and making me feel valuable.

Okay, so you don't trust doctors. I get it.
Doctors spend a lot of time rigorously training in their field so they can have absolutely every piece of information, technology, and know-how to deal with any sort of trouble they are presented with. Sure, they don't know everything yet, but we like to think centuries of modern medicine have adviceanced our understanding a long way past humours and boring holes in heads to free demons.
Do you have some hot new information these dedicated men and women have overlooked? Perhaps you dealt with a girl like this before while you were still a resident.
And all that "they just told me how to tell them what they wanted to hear" nonsense sounds like a you-problem, and not a doctors-problem.


I'd help her find a new, effective therapist even if I have to do all the research myself, and I'm positive I can convince her to start antidepressants. Still, part of me wants to send her to the mental hospital despite my contempt for it. At the very least, they can keep her from killing herself, even if they f**k with her head. That's not something I can provide.

it's natural to seek a safe place for people in great danger but i doubt you alone could have her hospitalised - that's a decision made by medical professionals in liaison with her parents
again, i strongly suggest that you speak to a college counsellor of your deep concern for this girl - and it is deep, otherwise even in your wildest dreams you wouldn't think of a mental health unit as an option eh?
speak to them, it's their job to contact her parents and make the problem known

and just one final thing on the meds/shrink etc
you know she could be completely bullsh*tting you right?
perhaps she's under strict instructions to take these anti-ds, but is spinning you a line in order to continue on with the self-destruction
i don't recommend you believe every word she says, if you are in any doubt - see if she crosses any of the boundary lines you've put on your friendship; like 'not milking you for attention, by playing on your fear and sympathy'
if she regularly crosses those barriers, then it's highly likely she's lying to you as much as she's lying to herself
it's behaviour that goes along with the illness i'm afraid

no avi stillz


Okay, so you don't trust doctors. I get it.
Doctors spend a lot of time rigorously training in their field so they can have absolutely every piece of information, technology, and know-how to deal with any sort of trouble they are presented with. Sure, they don't know everything yet, but we like to think centuries of modern medicine have adviceanced our understanding a long way past humours and boring holes in heads to free demons.
Do you have some hot new information these dedicated men and women have overlooked? Perhaps you dealt with a girl like this before while you were still a resident.
And all that "they just told me how to tell them what they wanted to hear" nonsense sounds like a you-problem, and not a doctors-problem.

I'm fine with therapists, psychiatry, and outpatient programs, it's total institutionalization that I have a problem with. It's not as perfect as you try to make it sound- the problem lies in the fact that those immortal, omniscient doctors are human.
They get scores of severely troubled kids coming at them at all hours of the day. Eventually, they realize the only way they can safely deal with everyone is to follow their regulations to the letter, never making any sort of exception for any individual regardless of whether or not it is beneficial or even necessary for that individuals recovery.
We're a blur of walking, talking problems to them. Yeah, they've studied what is supposedly effective, but their information is generally backed by flawed studies that don't follow patients long enough after release to document the high rate of relapses.
I can and did work with my doctors when I wasn't institutionalized, but I had no choice but to do everything I could to get out of the mental hospital, even if that meant silently practicing my lies in the mirror to see how convincing I looked. When compassionate drones control literally every aspect of your day right down to when you can go to the bathroom... I remember how kids would pick fights with each other and then become best friends. None of the staff treated us like humans, so even negative yet HUMAN attention felt like a blessing.

>When compassionate drones
^UNcompassionate

OP, hope you read my post.
Do what you have to.

You have two choices.
1. Tell her to stop being a stupid bitch
OR
2. Go back in time and push her pregnant mother down some steps.
These are the only two solutions. Take them or leave them.

tI;dr version?
bIox


You have two choices.
1. Tell her to stop being a stupid bitch
OR
2. Go back in time and push her pregnant mother down some steps.
These are the only two solutions. Take them or leave them.

11/10
Your LOL XD SOOO EDGY bullsh*t is not needed here.


it's natural to seek a safe place for people in great danger but i doubt you alone could have her hospitalised - that's a decision made by medical professionals in liaison with her parents
again, i strongly suggest that you speak to a college counsellor of your deep concern for this girl - and it is deep, otherwise even in your wildest dreams you wouldn't think of a mental health unit as an option eh?
speak to them, it's their job to contact her parents and make the problem known

and just one final thing on the meds/shrink etc
you know she could be completely bullsh*tting you right?
perhaps she's under strict instructions to take these anti-ds, but is spinning you a line in order to continue on with the self-destruction
i don't recommend you believe every word she says, if you are in any doubt - see if she crosses any of the boundary lines you've put on your friendship; like 'not milking you for attention, by playing on your fear and sympathy'
if she regularly crosses those barriers, then it's highly likely she's lying to you as much as she's lying to herself
it's behaviour that goes along with the illness i'm afraid

no avi stillz

When I say I'm considering having her hospitalized, I mean telling a counselor who will tell her parents and have her sent away. She had confided in a counselor on campus before and she was indeed hospitalized for a short time, and she despised it.
As for the holistic medicine, she's being honest about that. I remember way back when we were still working on the project, I mentioned my father was a pharmacist and she said that her family didn't believe in artificial medicine and that she had only ever taken natural and holistic cures. I remember teasing her about it and playfully touting the virtues of modern medicine.


11/10
Your LOL XD SOOO EDGY bullsh*t is not needed here.

what?
i was just trying to lighten the mood

oh sheeeeeee, wrong trip

Well, it turns out she's suicidal. Last night she left a somewhat unsettling message on my phone- it was something along the lines of "You've been so nice, I'm sorry I've burdened you with my problems, goodbye". I immediately thought it sounded like a suicide note, but I didn't think she was suicidal just yet. I mean, we barely know each other. Why would she be leaving ME a message like that?
I talked to her about it the next day and jokingly said that if she stuck "goodbye, world" at the end, it would be a textbook suicide note. Turns out that she had been pacing around the 10th story of a building when she made the call, debating whether or not to jump. F**k me for being right. She said that she hadn't told anyone, not her family or friends. I encouraged her to do so.
Here's what I don't get: she DOES have two close friends that I know of who live somewhat nearby and that she sees almost every day. They live off campus, but their group is very tight-knit. I spoke to one of her friends and expressed my concern- let's call her Amy. Amy told me that she noticed the depression/loneliness as well, but that this was actually a pretty frequent occurrence. Amy also confirmed that there was at least one specific thing causing the depression, but that it was not her place to reveal that to me. I had gathered as much in my dialogues with our friend, but while she admitted to there being such a problem, she didn't want to tell me what it was.
I have trouble believing that she would tell ME about her suicidal thoughts and not tell her close friends. Maybe it's because I already revealed to her that I was in a similar situation, so she feels some sort of kinship with me. Maybe it's because she thinks her friends would go right to her parents and the police. Maybe it's because she knows my feelings on mental hospitals and is confident that I wouldn't reveal any information that would get her sent to one.

I'd be willing to wager that it's a fundamental self-worth issue. If having two close friends that you see every day doesn't make your more sociable, there HAS to be something in your head convincing you you're not good enough to be interacting with other people.
Lost Girl is Lost, though. Does she do anything craft/project/calling-wise? Is there anything that she's proud of?


11/10
Your LOL XD SOOO EDGY bullsh*t is not needed here.

MAN I'M NOT EVEN BEING EDGY. THOSE ARE MY NO BULLSH*T ASSESSMENT SOLUTIONS. I SEEN SH*T THAT WOULD SHOCK YOUR EYELIDS, MAN. I REALLY DON'T SEE ANY OTHER SOLUTION.


MAN I'M NOT EVEN BEING EDGY. THOSE ARE MY NO BULLSH*T ASSESSMENT SOLUTIONS. I SEEN SH*T THAT WOULD SHOCK YOUR EYELIDS, MAN. I REALLY DON'T SEE ANY OTHER SOLUTION.

F**KIN CAPSLOCK
HOW DOES IT WORK?


what?
i was just trying to lighten the mood

oh sheeeeeee, wrong trip

omg 888 GET EPIC WIN!!!


When I say I'm considering having her hospitalized, I mean telling a counselor who will tell her parents and have her sent away. She had confided in a counselor on campus before and she was indeed hospitalized for a short time, and she despised it.
As for the holistic medicine, she's being honest about that. I remember way back when we were still working on the project, I mentioned my father was a pharmacist and she said that her family didn't believe in artificial medicine and that she had only ever taken natural and holistic cures. I remember teasing her about it and playfully touting the virtues of modern medicine.

okay, well look - if her family aren't taking it seriously enough to get off the hippy idealism that herbs cure everything then she's already in a load of trouble and whether or not you decide to talk to a counsellor about her, you need to talk to someone for yourself
the reason i say that is because you wouldn't be bringing the whole subject to this board unless you wanted to vent - it's obviously playing on your mind and already weighing down on you
if you decide you want to be her whyte knyghte, that's your call - but you're gonna need a lot of backup and strength underneath you, before you support someone so fragile
if talking like this on the chan is all you've got then you're in trouble

OP this is classic women attention whoring. She is not going to kill herself. She just wants attention. Just humor her. Who knows you might get laid.


okay, well look - if her family aren't taking it seriously enough to get off the hippy idealism that herbs cure everything then she's already in a load of trouble and whether or not you decide to talk to a counsellor about her, you need to talk to someone for yourself
the reason i say that is because you wouldn't be bringing the whole subject to this board unless you wanted to vent - it's obviously playing on your mind and already weighing down on you
if you decide you want to be her whyte knyghte, that's your call - but you're gonna need a lot of backup and strength underneath you, before you support someone so fragile
if talking like this on the chan is all you've got then you're in trouble

I'll bring this to the attention of my former therapist, but anyone in a position of authority on campus would have an easy time tracing her back to me. I'm fairly certain I can get her to tell her inner circle, and if not I think I may tell them myself regardless of what I feel they'd do with that information.
I don't think I have it in me to whiteknight this. I have my own life with my own obligations that I'm just not willing to fall short on. If it came down to it, I'd pass the responsibility on to someone else rather than jeopardize my studies.

I'd be willing to wager that it's a fundamental self-worth issue. If having two close friends that you see every day doesn't make your more sociable, there HAS to be something in your head convincing you you're not good enough to be interacting with other people.
Lost Girl is Lost, though. Does she do anything craft/project/calling-wise? Is there anything that she's proud of?

She has artistic pursuits but doesn't share them with others and doesn't consider herself particularly good at anything. Her self-esteem is virtually nonexistent and the only time she seems legitimately happy is when I really get her mind really far away from the stuff that's bugging her, just cracking goofy jokes and talking about silly/wacky things.


omg 888 GET EPIC WIN!!!

Be quiet please.


I'll bring this to the attention of my former therapist, but anyone in a position of authority on campus would have an easy time tracing her back to me. I'm fairly certain I can get her to tell her inner circle, and if not I think I may tell them myself regardless of what I feel they'd do with that information.
I don't think I have it in me to whiteknight this. I have my own life with my own obligations that I'm just not willing to fall short on. If it came down to it, I'd pass the responsibility on to someone else rather than jeopardize my studies.

She has artistic pursuits but doesn't share them with others and doesn't consider herself particularly good at anything. Her self-esteem is virtually nonexistent and the only time she seems legitimately happy is when I really get her mind really far away from the stuff that's bugging her, just cracking goofy jokes and talking about silly/wacky things.

well reading what you've just said, i'm not so concerned for your well-being as i was - seems you've got a relatively decent handle on the situation and something of a support-network around you
i still think it wise to air your concerns to a college counselling body though, because were the sh*t to hit the fan then you would have at least done everything you can
k, i'm done with being super cereal nao, i'm putting my avi back on and gonna be a doofus elswhere
~
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face to shine upon you,
And be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.


I'll bring this to the attention of my former therapist, but anyone in a position of authority on campus would have an easy time tracing her back to me. I'm fairly certain I can get her to tell her inner circle, and if not I think I may tell them myself regardless of what I feel they'd do with that information.
I don't think I have it in me to whiteknight this. I have my own life with my own obligations that I'm just not willing to fall short on. If it came down to it, I'd pass the responsibility on to someone else rather than jeopardize my studies.

She has artistic pursuits but doesn't share them with others and doesn't consider herself particularly good at anything. Her self-esteem is virtually nonexistent and the only time she seems legitimately happy is when I really get her mind really far away from the stuff that's bugging her, just cracking goofy jokes and talking about silly/wacky things.

Sh*t, this sounds alarmingly close to what I'm experiencing right now, and it sounds like you've been there yourself OP. How do you rebound from a situation like this? How do you "get back in the game" so to speal?

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