Monday, August 16, 2010

Is it possible to make deep seated change?

Can someone go from being a wimp to a total bad-ass? Can someone go from an anxiety ridden loser to a self-confident self-motivated ambitious success? Or are our inner selves fixed?
Has anyone actually gone through such a change or know of anyone who has?




2 years ago I swore to myself I would change.
That I would do exactly as you are suggesting OP.
Now I browse anonymous all day and cry myself to sleep.

No, OP it is not possible because the change itself would have your being a spineless bitch as its foundation. It is not, not there.

Those are all words that describe how someone acts. You control the way you act. If you can make the choices that lead to you being and anxiety-ridden loser, then you can make the choices that lead to you being Sylvester Stallone. Most people just end up as the wimp because it's easier. Willpower, bro.

They've done an experiment in mice where they selected a mouse and deliberately placed it against competitive males who were weaker than the test mouse.
Once the test mouse had won a few fights, they slowly increased the size and aggression of the "opponent" mice until they were putting in huge ass mice who, in nature, would have f**ked the test mouse up.
Yep, you guessed it, the test mouse f**ked the big guys up, simply because it didn't know about losing.
Dunno if you can draw a lesson from that.

No, OP it is not possible because the change itself would have your being a spineless bitch as its foundation. It is not, not there.

OP here, this is not necessarily me, its more of a theoretical question. However I am quite a loser and unambitious, but I wouldnt say I am spineless. Not quite bad-ass either I might add, just your normal everyday bro.

They've done an experiment in mice where they selected a mouse and deliberately placed it against competitive males who were weaker than the test mouse.
Once the test mouse had won a few fights, they slowly increased the size and aggression of the "opponent" mice until they were putting in huge ass mice who, in nature, would have f**ked the test mouse up.
Yep, you guessed it, the test mouse f**ked the big guys up, simply because it didn't know about losing.
Dunno if you can draw a lesson from that.

In other words, take up boxing until you can break jaws and the rest will come together on its own.

>neckbeard virgin shut-in all through school
>age 17 I have a bit of a realisation and decide to sort my sh*t out
>join army
>totally out of my depth
>struggle to adjust and with fitness
>somehow get through basic
>i'm now manned up and fit for first time in my life
>go straight out from depot to op tour
>finish op tour and do loads of cool sh*t for next two years
>leave army a completely different and better person
>everyone back in home town is shocked how I turned out
>meet a girl
>move in together
>get married
>earn crazy money as a pmc
>post about it on anonymous
Feels good man


OP here, this is not necessarily me, its more of a theoretical question. However I am quite a loser and unambitious, but I wouldnt say I am spineless. Not quite bad-ass either I might add, just your normal everyday bro.

No, I figured as much.
Just look into PUAs for instance.
They are overcompensating man children underneath their bullsh*t. People don't really change.

I changed from c**ky chick magnet to insecure loser

>neckbeard virgin shut-in all through school
>age 17 I have a bit of a realisation and decide to sort my sh*t out
>join army
>totally out of my depth
>struggle to adjust and with fitness
>somehow get through basic
>i'm now manned up and fit for first time in my life
>go straight out from depot to op tour
>finish op tour and do loads of cool sh*t for next two years
>leave army a completely different and better person
>everyone back in home town is shocked how I turned out
>meet a girl
>move in together
>get married
>earn crazy money as a pmc
>post about it on anonymous
Feels good man

So is there a way to go through basic training and not be tied to the military for a few years?
Or a way to go through a Fight Club like transformation, enlightenment for the modern era so to speak? I myself dont really care about being a badass, I just want to be more self-confident and have less anxiety about things than I do now.


So is there a way to go through basic training and not be tied to the military for a few years?
Or a way to go through a Fight Club like transformation, enlightenment for the modern era so to speak? I myself dont really care about being a badass, I just want to be more self-confident and have less anxiety about things than I do now.

reserves, be a stickler for it in your contract.
alternatively, you can go the "17 year old high school senior" route and go through basic during the summer.


No, I figured as much.
Just look into PUAs for instance.
They are overcompensating man children underneath their bullsh*t. People don't really change.

OP again, dont really even care about being a PUA. Id rather just find a good woman to settle down with. However, as I stated, I am basically tying to be more self-confident, always on top, fearless, strong, and have less anxiety.
Maybe it has something to do with me being smoking too much weed, not exercising enough, and a bad diet. Maybe I am stuck this way forever?

I'm reading this and so far it has helped.
With or without that book, you have to be willing to work and try constantly. Learn to be assertive. Willpower is a muscle, and you need to exercise it to make it stronger.


OP again, dont really even care about being a PUA. Id rather just find a good woman to settle down with. However, as I stated, I am basically tying to be more self-confident, always on top, fearless, strong, and have less anxiety.
Maybe it has something to do with me being smoking too much weed, not exercising enough, and a bad diet. Maybe I am stuck this way forever?

if you really didn't want to be how you are (not exercising, smoking, etc) you would do something else. Most people are like you, it's easy. There's no incentive for anything else unless you create it for yourself. This isn't really deep seated change, this is simply acclimating to new goals; creating better habits.

Deep seated change...is it possible? Can someone go from being a wimp to a total bad-ass? Can someone go from an anxiety ridden loser to a self-confident self-motivated ambitious success? Or are our inner selves fixed?
Has anyone actually gone through such a change or know of anyone who has?

I have. I used to be friendless in the truest sense of the word and basically socially retarded. I wouldn't leave my house for months at a time, I had no phone and did nothing but play video games and practice instruments/write music. I was also severely over-weight and depressed. One day a few years ago I just decided I'd change myself. I convinced myself that I was capable of anything and suddenly I was. Now I'm in the best shape of my life, have a great deal of close friends and acquaintances, and have never been happier. I've helped a lot of people realize the power they actually have over themselves and their lives and become happier. I genuinely hope that everyone in a similarly miserable position will one day overcome it.
Feels good, man.

I changed from a slobby loser who girls never looked at, to a fit loser who girls look at
feels even worse, man, I'm not even joking. Before, I had a crutch to lean on, "girls aren't interested in fat guys" but now it's extremely apparent to anyone who meets me that I'm just a gigantic loser.

Yeah OP it is a one way thing. You can only turn from a badass into a fa**ot, but most likely you start as one.

I changed from a slobby loser who girls never looked at, to a fit loser who girls look at
feels even worse, man, I'm not even joking. Before, I had a crutch to lean on, "girls aren't interested in fat guys" but now it's extremely apparent to anyone who meets me that I'm just a gigantic loser.

THIS. True story, bro.

Deep seated change...is it possible? Can someone go from being a wimp to a total bad-ass? Can someone go from an anxiety ridden loser to a self-confident self-motivated ambitious success? Or are our inner selves fixed?
Has anyone actually gone through such a change or know of anyone who has?

I'm not a "total badass" but I definitely got over my high-school age crippling social anxiety.
I'm too lazy to really go in depth in this explanation but, let's just say I was cripplingly socially inept in high-school. To the point that I was ultra-paranoid about stupid sh*t like my hair, if I was walking funny, breathing funny, if my music was too loud, if my backpack was undone, if people thought I was ugly, etc. I wasn't even comfortable talking to close family and friends, when someone I didn't know said hi to me I'd start trembling and be unable to utter a response, and so on.
Anyways, fastforward 4 or 5 years, I'm 20 years old and I'm by all accounts a normal person. I still have some of my introverted tendencies, but i'm more than comfortable talking to people I don't know, and I don't have any more ridiculous inner dialogues with myself.
Protip for not failing at life, no inner dialogues, ever, if you have something to say find someone to say it to. Also, go to the gym get into good f**king shape. Not only will you naturally be more confident in yourself when you look better, just the act of exercising regularly will change your brain chemistry in way that will make you more outgoing. Don't be embarrassed of yourself, if you have an interest be proud of that sh*t, if the interest is too weird to be proud of, stop f**king doing it.
Oh, and awkward silences, DONT DO IT.
Jesus f**king christ you don't realize how detrimental this one is. If you ever just f**k up and stumble on your words or do something clumsy or whatever, just look at the person/people you're talking to and say something like "sorry man, I'm so f**king out of it right now, I didn't get any sleep last night", or some other excuse. Don't just do something stupid and go silent, that makes you seem creepy even for other guys.
Also it might help to get a social type job, something that requires you to talk to people all day.

They've done an experiment in mice where they selected a mouse and deliberately placed it against competitive males who were weaker than the test mouse.
Once the test mouse had won a few fights, they slowly increased the size and aggression of the "opponent" mice until they were putting in huge ass mice who, in nature, would have f**ked the test mouse up.
Yep, you guessed it, the test mouse f**ked the big guys up, simply because it didn't know about losing.
Dunno if you can draw a lesson from that.

So, they put a mouse that was trained fighter against other mice? You're a dumbass. Let's train some guy against weak fa**ots then put him against Mike Tyson. He doesn't know how to lose, confidence is all that matters guys, really!
While on the subject of Mike Tyson, he was picked on as a kid and made fun of. The way he got out of it was being good at something, that something is fighting. Confidence is useless if you have no skills to back it up.


THIS. True story, bro.

you too?
Man, nothing feels worse than seeing a girl obviously wanting to talk to you and you f**king it up somehow.
It happened on the bus yesterday, I went toward a seat and some a**hole jumped there in front of me, so some girl moved her bag and told me I could sit with her.
She started talking and it became clear within a few seconds of me being awkward that she regretted wanting to talk.
Felt f**king sh*t and this happens all the time. I'm pretty sure there's no way to become socially competent if you've been a loser since highschool

I changed from a slobby loser who girls never looked at, to a fit loser who girls look at
feels even worse, man, I'm not even joking. Before, I had a crutch to lean on, "girls aren't interested in fat guys" but now it's extremely apparent to anyone who meets me that I'm just a gigantic loser.

That's exactly the problem, people call you a loser and you believe them? If you're an in shape, good looking guy, with above average intelligence, you shouldn't give a f**k what anyone thinks about you. Chicks aren't into me, alright f**king forget about them. Live your life for you for awhile, get good at something, work towards your desired career, indulge in your hobbies, whatever. You can only be a loser if you yourself think you are one.

OP again, I am not really dealing with issues of social anxiety (well maybe a little sometimes) but mostly I talk to strangers, make friends, etc.
My issue is more performance anxiety or avoidance. Lets say I have to start a new class tomorrow or I got my drivers test or I have to assert myself and show that I can do...basically I am such a perfectionist that I dont want to f**k up and thereby often DO f**k up. Either that or I will avoid the situation totally. Biggest issue is prior to actually doing the said event, I am usually anxiety ridden beforehand while thinking about it but when I am actually there its often not so bad. I just think about stuff to much and dont want to look bad or not be awesome in front of others.
Dont really know how to fix it.

>neckbeard virgin shut-in all through school
>age 17 I have a bit of a realisation and decide to sort my sh*t out
>join army
>totally out of my depth
>struggle to adjust and with fitness
>somehow get through basic
>i'm now manned up and fit for first time in my life
>go straight out from depot to op tour
>finish op tour and do loads of cool sh*t for next two years
>leave army a completely different and better person
>everyone back in home town is shocked how I turned out
>meet a girl
>move in together
>get married
>earn crazy money as a pmc
>post about it on anonymous
Feels good man

Best piece of military viral marketing I've ever read.
One thousand/10

Join the military with anxiety issues, leave with PTSD. I know, I did it.
Terrible idea. They don't want the mentally ill for a reason.

Join the military with anxiety issues, leave with PTSD. I know, I did it.
Terrible idea. They don't want the mentally ill for a reason.

don't go in as infantry then if you're a f**king pu**y?
join the chair force

HEY MOTHERF**KERS
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME KIND OF RETARDED ANIMALS OR SOMETHING?
GO DO STUFF IF YOU WANT TO DO STUFF
P.S. PEOPLE WON'T THINK YOU'RE AS CREEPY IF YOU GET A SENSE OF HUMOR AND WORK OUT. PERIOD. AND NOBODY CARES HOW YOU LOOK AT THE GYM, THE GYM IS A F**KIN EVERYONE-UGLY ZONE.


That's exactly the problem, people call you a loser and you believe them? If you're an in shape, good looking guy, with above average intelligence, you shouldn't give a f**k what anyone thinks about you. Chicks aren't into me, alright f**king forget about them. Live your life for you for awhile, get good at something, work towards your desired career, indulge in your hobbies, whatever. You can only be a loser if you yourself think you are one.

nobody calls me a loser, it's just very apparent to me and everybody else upon talking to me that I am one.
It isn't a question of confidence either, I make sure I look/smell good before I leave the house so I don't even think about that stuff.
It's just that I don't know what to say in social situations, and that makes them awkward.
Like most of you (I'm guessing) I get worse socially the bigger the group is. Sometimes I can seem normal when I'm with one person (not with a girl though) but any more and I'm a total social tard.

OP again, I am not really dealing with issues of social anxiety (well maybe a little sometimes) but mostly I talk to strangers, make friends, etc.
My issue is more performance anxiety or avoidance. Lets say I have to start a new class tomorrow or I got my drivers test or I have to assert myself and show that I can do...basically I am such a perfectionist that I dont want to f**k up and thereby often DO f**k up. Either that or I will avoid the situation totally. Biggest issue is prior to actually doing the said event, I am usually anxiety ridden beforehand while thinking about it but when I am actually there its often not so bad. I just think about stuff to much and dont want to look bad or not be awesome in front of others.
Dont really know how to fix it.

MOTHERF**KING THIS
God damn, it's f**king ruining my life. I need a job so f**king badly and I want one so badly but every time I even think about so much as a f**king interview (much less being expected to do the job itself) I want to puke all over myself thinking of the ways I might screw up.
It's so unreasonable and it pisses me the f**k off and yet it's always there.

>neckbeard virgin shut-in all through school
>age 17 I have a bit of a realisation and decide to sort my sh*t out
>join army
>totally out of my depth
>struggle to adjust and with fitness
>somehow get through basic
>i'm now manned up and fit for first time in my life
>go straight out from depot to op tour
>finish op tour and do loads of cool sh*t for next two years
>leave army a completely different and better person
>everyone back in home town is shocked how I turned out
>meet a girl
>move in together
>get married
>earn crazy money as a pmc
>post about it on anonymous
Feels good man

Yes, it's amazing what being naked in a shower with a bunch of other dudes can do for social anxiety.

I've gone some an extremely confident, proud, good looking young man to a wallowing, pathetic, broken good looking young man. I believe so, yes.


So is there a way to go through basic training and not be tied to the military for a few years?
Or a way to go through a Fight Club like transformation, enlightenment for the modern era so to speak? I myself dont really care about being a badass, I just want to be more self-confident and have less anxiety about things than I do now.

No dude, I did four years. That's the minimum term of service. My first two years was taken up by training (almost nine months, inc. about a month's leave between phase 1 and 2 training) and my op tour. Second two years I spent in I did way too much stuff to lust but it was mostly a lot of fun.


Yes, it's amazing what being naked in a shower with a bunch of other dudes can do for social anxiety.

If you never do anything outside your comfort zone you won't grow or become stronger as a person.
But for what it's worth, I don't recall having to use communal showers more than three times and that was all in field conditions (ie temporary showers in a tent sonewhere). All the camps and barracks I used had shower cubicles.

I changed quite dramatically. I had normal life experiences, yet I don't attribute my change to anything special, except one thing; I learned to hear criticism without the bitter tone.
Lots of people ARE trying to "help" but it's often a double edged sword. If you force yourself to only hear positive adviceice you suddenly can capitalize on that. That doesn't mean I follow every directive sent my way. I do try to unravel the good many try to communicate, but have their own emotional issues as well.
P.S. I didn't join the military or anything.

It is possible OP. You just need to associate yourself with different people and put on a fake facade. Soon enough you'll believe that this is who you are and forget that you're actually a basement dwelling freak of nature. It takes time but the result is worth it. Feels good man. Good luck to you OP.

Yup its definitely possible OP.
I remember this little nerdy wimp from back in middle school that people used to pick on. Never knew him personally, but i remember always thinking to myself "what a fa**ot."
Flash foward 3-4 years later i here someone call the kids name. i look over and hed turned into this jacked kid. No more scrawny wimpiness. Needless to say, no one picked on him anymore and im pretty sure hes got a girlfriend. And hes no longer antiaocial.
TL;DR Yes OP it happens
Sry for spelling mistakes, typin from my Ipod

Yup its definitely possible OP.
I remember this little nerdy wimp from back in middle school that people used to pick on. Never knew him personally, but i remember always thinking to myself "what a fa**ot."
Flash foward 3-4 years later i here someone call the kids name. i look over and hed turned into this jacked kid. No more scrawny wimpiness. Needless to say, no one picked on him anymore and im pretty sure hes got a girlfriend. And hes no longer antiaocial.
TL;DR Yes OP it happens
Sry for spelling mistakes, typin from my Ipod

Using Anonyma amirite? :)


you too?
Man, nothing feels worse than seeing a girl obviously wanting to talk to you and you f**king it up somehow.
It happened on the bus yesterday, I went toward a seat and some a**hole jumped there in front of me, so some girl moved her bag and told me I could sit with her.
She started talking and it became clear within a few seconds of me being awkward that she regretted wanting to talk.
Felt f**king sh*t and this happens all the time. I'm pretty sure there's no way to become socially competent if you've been a loser since highschool

>>I'm pretty sure there's no way to become socially competent if you've been a loser since highschool
Wrong, it just takes practice. Failure is an inherent part of practice, you won't be able to converse normally until you've made a fool of yourself in dozens of conversations. Eventually you will click with people, and find your stride. The human brain is capable of remarkable development even in old age, all of us youngsters on anonymous have nothing holding us back except for fear.

>Fat excuse of a teen
>Started working out
>Started acting the way I wanted to feel
>became awesome
>tons of friends and ladies over me
>got girl
>keep being awesome


Using Anonyma amirite? :)

nope just safari. I keep my web browsing to a min, and only post when i feel the need to.

I was just one of you buckets of wasted talent. It was there, and knowing it was enough to not be motivated.
That time ends.
Yeah you can get by in College, but getting by in College doesn't do anything. We live in a different job market than 20-30 years ago.
You probably don't want to live in your parents house the rest of your life, you enjoy solitude. Something roommates or a parent's house can afford.
I like to be high for 4 days straight. I play online poker and support myself fairly well so my lifestyle does have some perks. Wait, what are we talking about?

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