Wednesday, September 22, 2010

My grandfather is dying

Dear anonymous, I have a big problem.
My grandfather is probably going to die in a couple of days. He was the father I never had (seeing as me own dad -not his son- beat me all the time, was an alcoholic and never bought me anything except second-hand clothes once in a while), and I love him very, very much. I've been busy lately and I didn't get to go on visits that often, and yesterday I found out that he had a stoke. I went to visit him at the hospital as soon as I found out- he recognized me, and held my hand, even though he couldn't speak, move the right half of his face and he seemed absent. A few minutes after I left my mom visited him, and he started freaking out so the hospital staff had to restrain him, but they assured us it was normal. In the evening they even told us that he started recognizing the nurse and that he ate the food that mom cooked for him- a pretty good progress, in their opinion.
But now I just got a call saying that his heart started acting up really bad and that they moved him into cardio. It's severe.
I'm desperate and scared sh*tless, anonymous.
What should I expect? Is there any hope? If he dies, how can I cope with the loss?




if he dies, he dies. There nothing you can do to stop it.
But there is hope. He spent time with you because he knew you are a worthwhile person.
Honor him.
Be worthwhile.
Spread his gift of love to another and learn from the lessons he gave you. His love has made you stronger. You just dont realize it yet.

KILL THE BEAST WHILE HES WOUNDED!

if he dies, he dies. There nothing you can do to stop it.
But there is hope. He spent time with you because he knew you are a worthwhile person.
Honor him.
Be worthwhile.
Spread his gift of love to another and learn from the lessons he gave you. His love has made you stronger. You just dont realize it yet.

goddamnit, your post made me cry.
I just got another call, this time from my mom- those incompetents wrongfully moved him to cardio. Grandpa smoked for a about 30 years when he was young, and since he gave up he would cough sometimes. My mom said it's a sort of bronchitis. And it turns out that bronchitis activated itself and that it caused him a fever.
I... just don't know what to believe anymore.


goddamnit, your post made me cry.
I just got another call, this time from my mom- those incompetents wrongfully moved him to cardio. Grandpa smoked for a about 30 years when he was young, and since he gave up he would cough sometimes. My mom said it's a sort of bronchitis. And it turns out that bronchitis activated itself and that it caused him a fever.
I... just don't know what to believe anymore.

This is real life. Sh*t goes down.
The question is "Can you pick yourself up when you've been knocked down?"

My grandfather died in similar circumstances OP, and I was close to him too, I feel for you.
If the worse happens, it will help you cope by remembering that, life would have been very hard and frustrating for him. I know that won't be much consolation to you as I'm sure you'd have gladly helped him bear that pain, but it should at least be some consolation. Just be glad he was such a great guy and that you had him as a grandfather, oh and if you can remember to tell him you love him if you haven't already, it sounds like that might buoy him up

Im afraid of when im going to have to cope with this aswell, Im only 18 and every single day i cry thinking about my mum and that shes going to die and im going to be alone and she will be gone forever, Im crying trying to type this right now. I dont know what to do its like every day i feel like this is her last day, Shes my only family member i have. Do i have some kind of mental problem and am i the only one who does this? Im so scared of what life is going to be like without her.

Your grandfathers already dead. He's in that selfless state before death, kind of like the lull between wakefulness and dreaming. It's not his death that matters, don't make it so. You lived with him. Nothing more you can do. Just remember him and celebrate him.


goddamnit, your post made me cry.
I just got another call, this time from my mom- those incompetents wrongfully moved him to cardio. Grandpa smoked for a about 30 years when he was young, and since he gave up he would cough sometimes. My mom said it's a sort of bronchitis. And it turns out that bronchitis activated itself and that it caused him a fever.
I... just don't know what to believe anymore.

I'm not going to lie. This will hurt like hell.
It's happened to me too with my grandmother. Just know that I feel for you.

BE HAPPY FOR HIM, THAT HE HAS LIVED A HAPPY, FULFILLING LIFE. FEELING GRIEF IS NORMAL, IF YOU WANT TO CRY, JUST LET IT OUT.
I WAS AT MY GRANDUNCLE'S FUNERAL EARLIER TODAY, I STILL HAVE GRAVE DIRT ON MY KNEES AND INCENSE IN MY HAIR ;_;

I'm going to visit him today during visiting hours and tell him that I love him, and that he was like a father to me.
Thing is, when I visited him yesterday they told me not to cry in front of him, because the patients apparently start feeling strong emotions and they aren't supposed to do so after a stroke.
But f**k it, I'm going to tell him that i love him anyways.


goddamnit, your post made me cry.
I just got another call, this time from my mom- those incompetents wrongfully moved him to cardio. Grandpa smoked for a about 30 years when he was young, and since he gave up he would cough sometimes. My mom said it's a sort of bronchitis. And it turns out that bronchitis activated itself and that it caused him a fever.
I... just don't know what to believe anymore.

Well, When my grandfather had about 30 days left to live, I asked him what he wants to do before he dies. He told me hes done everything and hes ready to leave in peace and hes not afraid.
A day later i told him me and him are going to thailand for 3 weeks to party and get laid every night. He died the 2nd night there while f**king a hooker. I bet he was happy. I suggest this to you OP


Well, When my grandfather had about 30 days left to live, I asked him what he wants to do before he dies. He told me hes done everything and hes ready to leave in peace and hes not afraid.
A day later i told him me and him are going to thailand for 3 weeks to party and get laid every night. He died the 2nd night there while f**king a hooker. I bet he was happy. I suggest this to you OP

for f**k's sake, he's BEDRIDDEN you moron. Also, he is too much of a gentleman to do this to my grandmother's memory and to his new wife.

Welcome to life.
It's not as bad as knowing your the last one carrying the family name.
Just remember: Someone out there has it worse off than you, and that you got lucky enough to read a post made by on of them.

Welcome to life.
It's not as bad as knowing your the last one carrying the family name.
Just remember: Someone out there has it worse off than you, and that you got lucky enough to read a post made by on of them.

OP here.
I am the last one carrying the family name. So yeah.


OP here.
I am the last one carrying the family name. So yeah.

Welcome to the club then.
Except when I last saw my grandfather I had an epiphany.
I need to have a sh*tload of kids.

Bump. Any other people out there with advice or words that can help me get though this?

Bump. Any other people out there with advice or words that can help me get though this?

I suggest going to thailand like that other guy, Sounds like the BEST WAY for anyone to go out. Or better yet bring the thai hookers to him!!

OP, my grandpa did kinda the same thing. The only difference was, I couldn't visit him. Which made it suck more.
Anyway, I was jsut sitting at the computer one day and I got a call from the hospital saying he died. And when I got that call, I realised, its not so bad when people die, man. My Grandpa meant the world to me, and once they are gone, its not as bad as you would expect, I can assure you. Once its over, you accept that its over, and you can then move on. This waiting for him to die is the hardest bit, when hes gone, you can pretty much relax and not have that dark cloud lingering over you.
Life goes on man, remember all the good times and forget the bad ones. Tell your friends about how badass he was, feels good man. Thats all the advice I can give, hope I helped somehow.

For about 2 days you will feel just awful, after that you sort of run out of energy and feel better. A few days after that its just like, hey, its all over, move on. You will still feel sad for probably the ret of your life, but for the first few days after hes gone, that will suck. Just keep telling yourself you will feel better.

cope with the loss by kicking your dad's ass
trust me, your grandfather will be so proud of you in val halla

THINK OF THE SYMPATHY YOU WILL GET
You can start reaping that sympathy with the ladies right now.

cope with the loss by kicking your dad's ass
trust me, your grandfather will be so proud of you in val halla

Trust me, I f**king will. The best thing that bastard did for me was leaving the family when I was 13.
I'm gonna f**k his sh*t up.

Good old men make good young men. Be that good young man. I had a man who was no kin of mine, but was dating my divorced grandmother. He was kind, intelligent, and just plain cool. He never spoiled me on anything other than attention. That man taught me many things. He showed me how to go on the internet, how to work on computers, how to drive, and how to appreciate the world around me. If there is one thing in my live I strive for, it's to be like him. The real tragedy was that it wasn't old age that took his life, but suicide. When he decided that life wasn't worth living anymore, he stopped living it. Even in death, I respect that man more than anyone that has come along since in my life. I hope he's waiting for me, somewhere on the other side. I'll do my best to make him proud of me.

1 comment:

  1. my grandparents took me in when i was a kid. my dad died and my mom couldn't take care of me. from 8 weeks they raised me. there old now and my grandpas health is decaying. every day the only fear i live with is finding him dead. iv talked with him about it and he says not to worry. but i do every day hes there for me and i take care of him. hes been my friend my entire life. i cant help but worry.

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